Isabel i agree with you and the others too, i do feel that they are grieving as you are, they have lost two sons, and i think they are living through your son for now, i am sure in time as the pain heals for all things will return to normal, you are right to take a stand and stick with it, your son needs stability right now and to be with his mother,just need to gently point that out to them i think, my heart goes out to you and i hope things can sort themselves out regarding this problem,you certainly don't need anything on top of already what you are going through GIANT HUGS.