I am so sorry for your loss. That is a really frightening experience to go through, and my heart goes out to you.

Do find someone to talk to about it. I came home to find my grandmother dead years ago and didn't do anything about it at the time. I wish I had, and even though I'm working through it now, the guilt was something I've carried for a long while. Please take care of yourself, and do what you need to get through it.

HUGS and prayers with you.