((((HUGS)))) for you Blue! I know you are a big rough tough guy but don't try to carry this alone.. Even the best of the best need help now and then..

Those guys who were there for my son Eddie had big problems after seeing him walking down the hall on fire screaming for help. They took action without a thought for their own safety but afterwards, they saw it every time they tried to go to sleep and had PTSD from it..

This was a major event in your life. Do not be to proud to see help when/if you need it. I don't know who you work for but they should send you to see someone just to make sure you are dealing with it in a healthy way.. You should not have to deal with this alone...