Im not sure if this is a life lesson but it messed up my head.

[blue]

[QUOTE=caseysmom;2298273[/QUOTE]Thats rough, it will take you some time for it not to be so hard to be at work. Sorry you went through that.

Make up with your Dad and brother in K's honor, life's too short and you just never know.[/QUOTE}

Hopefully after this the 3 of us will be better to each other and better in touch.

1. Take a refresher CPR course.

Thats my next cert, and Ild like to make it company wide.

2. Make a humble pie and have a slice.

Already done.

3. Give your dad and bro a hug and whisper in their ear that you love them.

If I could I would. I will when I get the chance. Our personal BS is to petty not to.

4. My mom passed in the front room that I am sitting in at the moment.
She still makes me laugh when I remember her. Remember the good times.

My Mom pisses me off, not as much as my brother, but she helped me get through a very shitty year. My mom has also done more for me then my dad

5. Do one thing in the office to honor your friend.
A plant, A sign, A photo?

Ill place his coffee mug at on place and Ill find something for the other. He was loved at one and well liked at the other.

6. When you feel sick, go see a doc.

Good advice, I almost lost a finger once and a leg the other. But I dont think K felt sick enough to go to the white coats. They never do. I doubt I ever will.

. What would K think of you if you fell apart because you have to work in that room?

I spent the summer in a haunted house staying with my dad. I may feel uneasy but Ill get through this. I dont think K will haunt me.

8. Live with a purpose.

I havent done that yet. Might be a good time to start.

No matter how many times you look back? You can't change what happened.

As much as I want too, your right. I was told as much today.

I think that K would be happy that you were there to try and help him.

It sure beats being alone.]

Hugs, bro.

I really hope he knew that both J and I where there in the end even if I froze up.

Rest in peace, K, and know you had an impact here on Earth.

Blue, our thoughts and prayers are with you in this terrible time. I hope you can find some peace with things, maybe just place some flowers where K died for a few days, or his coffee mug if he was a devoted coffee drinker, some little way to remember him.

Thank you Karen. Ill make sure his mugs are part of the new network backbone.

[pomtzu]

That's a tough pill to swallow, blue, but there was nothing that you could have done in any event. I'm sure that K knows you tried your best to help.

RIP K
Peace to you, blue

Read what is at the bottom of my siggy.

K's season is done.

But blue's clock of life keeps ticking, Make the most of it.

[Karen]

I really hope he knew that both J and I where there in the end even if I froze up.

I'll share a lighter hearted story with you, maybe it'll cheer you up a little, or at least give you a chuckle, related to "freezing up" in a crisis.

Years ago I worked at a newspaper in the art department, where we regularly worked with X-acto knives. One day my assistant was in, not on the clock, he came in early to use the equipment to do freelance project. Well, he slipped with the knife, and hit a vein in the palm of his hand. Blood apparently arced out from it, and he walked over to my desk, trying to keep pressure on it, blood everywhere. He and I knew we needed to get a tourniquet on it, so he sat in the chair next to me and I told the people near me "Get me cheesecloth!" I grabbed a ruler, and one of the three people I had sent off came back with ice! "Cheesecloth!" I said, and she scampered away, and came back quickly with paper towel - no use in making a tourniquet! Thankfully the second person got me some. We fashioned a tourniquet out of the cheesecloth and the ruler, noted the time so he could keep track and loosen it periodically, and I set off to take him to the hospital. Long story short, he needed just two stitches, but lost a LOT of blood.

When I got back, probably an hour later, the girl who had brought me first ice, then paper towel stammered apology after apology, saying she never knew how she'd react in an Emergency - and now knew - badly! Another woman apologized and said "You know, I always thought I'd be good in an emergency, but as soon as I saw all that blood I nearly passed out. I had to go in the other room and sit down, I am sooo sorry!" And the third woman, who had always told me she'd either scream or faint at the sight of blood, worked right through the whole thing with headphones on, and only noticed as someone was finishing wiping up the blood on the floor right next to her!

[Asiel]

So sorry about waht you have to go through Blue. That's a horrible experience no matter how you look at it. But you can take heart knowing you were there and did everything possible. It will get easier with each passing day even if it looks dark right now.

[Alysser]

Wow, Blue, I am so sorry that happened to you. That is rough, but in the end you couldn't have done anything. I am sorry for that. But I hope you realize that it wasn't your fault and that in the end you were there. May K rest peacefully.

[krazyaboutkatz]

Blue, I'm so sorry to hear that you had to experience this and I'm sorry to hear about your co-worker. May K RIP. Please take care. (((HUGS)))

[blue]

Thanks everybody, I really do appreciate it. I have an unauthorized plan for an unauthorized memorial to K Im going to put into action tomorrow and Im pretty sure I can pull it off, but it isnt whats below.

I was pretty messed up yesterday, and Im glad I wrote it out, it helped. Im going to talk with the boss when I get to the shop tomorrow about getting us all current on CPR certified.

I got queasy when I got closer to work today knowing I was going to have to work in the same room where K died, but it wasnt any where near as bad I thought it would be, writing it out helped.

Thanks again.