cheating

[pomtzu]

Clarification post - and the final post from me. I know there will be a sigh of relief at that thought!! Was that meant to be sarcastic??? - but of course. We Aries are well known for that trait!

First of all, let me say one more time, that I am not picking on Marigold. It doesn't matter who the OP is, if the issue was the same, I would say the same to whoever it was.

I also never said anything about having a friend to confide in. We all have them I would hope (yes Marigold, I do, believe it or not) - providing a shoulder to cry on, a sympathetic ear to listen - but also smart enough to know when to keep quiet in certain areas. Marriage advice is not something to be given or taken lightly, and it should be left to the "pros".

I think Marigold was right for being there for her "friends" - to listen and not judge. What advice she offered (other than to seek professional help), is something that only she and the other 2 parties know for certain. Any other advice she may have given in regards to their marriage problems should definitely be a no-no - even if she was asked. What's right for one marriage, could be totally wrong for another. And as I mentioned before, I have seen friendships end over well intentioned advice (of various kinds) - even when it was asked for..

So since my well intentioned post wasn't asked for - I will leave!

[Daisy and Delilah]

Marigold, I have no problem with you helping a friend. That was a very nice thing to do and I think alot of us feel that way. A wonderful gesture.
I know Gary Coleman is dead. His family isn't dead. I don't expect any of the Coleman family to be members of this board and I'm sure they haven't seen the other thread. That is not my point.

The point I was trying to make is this; you seem to think it's ok to do whatever you feel like doing whenever you feel like doing it.
When a person posts something in response that you don't like, you always act like certain people are against you.
Is everyone required to back you 100% no matter what. However, it's not okay for us to make our comments if we choose to do so?
I was merely pointing out the double standard you have presented on this board many many times.

[snakemama]

As a newlywed, I sometimes seek the advice of couples who have been married for a long time when I'm unsure what to do, so this doesn't strike me as strange or inappropriate at all.

I think she was 100% right not to go to her mother...one piece of advice I got early on that makes complete sense to me is not to go to family with your marital problems. They love you dearly, and their vision of your s/o will forever be tainted by whatever it is you told them. You may forgive, because you are there every day to have the conversations, visit the counselor, etc., but your family only sees the picture you paint for them.

As a reformed cheater (Not on my DH, but in past relationships...) I hope her hubby has his head on straight and deserves this third chance he's getting.

[Marigold2]

It is NOT my decision on how many chances she will give him. It is there's and there's alone. It is my job to give love, support, forgiveness, understanding, a shoulder to cry on, a joke to share and maybe to babysit from time to time so they can go out and have some private time alone.
I consider that to be my jobs. Enough said.

[blue]

Marigold, from what I read, you did what any friend would. BTDT.

[Taz_Zoee]

It is NOT my decision on how many chances she will give him. It is there's and there's alone. It is my job to give love, support, forgiveness, understanding, a shoulder to cry on, a joke to share and maybe to babysit from time to time so they can go out and have some private time alone.
I consider that to be my jobs. Enough said.

I know that. I wasn't saying you should have said anything about it. I was just stating my opinion. You know everyone has one. I'm not attacking you. Calm down.

[carole]

I so disagree that everything should be left to the professionals,so every time one has a problem do you go seek professional advice, i think not, usually you ask advice from those closest to you, whether they be family or friends, and you may even come here to PT or another board you belong to,as i said before life experiences mean a whole lot to me.

And as for Marigold being picked on, personally that is what i do see in nearly every thread she posts by the same people, anyhow that is how i see it,end of.

Monica you and you alone are the only one here who knows your two friends,if you are comfortable with what you have said and being there for them,then that is all that really matters, i wish them well, and i think it is good that they have someone who loves them as much as you do.

[Catty1]

Amen, Carole!