cheating

[pomtzu]

Whatever.............

Hopefully it won't backfire on any of the parties involved.

[happylabs]

I have to agree with Pomtzu on this one. It is okay to listen and let your friend vent. However, I would steer clear of giving advice. And I also think it was not appropriate to spend an hour talking with the husband. Why didn't the couple sit down and talk it over between themselves? I have always thought honesty was the best policy between couples, and, that friends should stay out of it. Counseling sounds like the best idea. I hate to say this, but in all likelihood, these two will split up. If he cheated once, he will do it again. The statistics are against them sadly.

[Queen of Poop]

I thank you for taking the time to be a calming force for the two people embroiled in an emotional nightmare. You may have helped them save their marriage, maybe not, it does not matter. You were there for them when they needed support and that's what counts. Hopefully they will take your advice and seek counselling, they will need it to keep their marriage together or to go their separate ways.

What I would have given to have had someone to talk to the first, second or third times he hit me. Maybe it wouldn't have gone on for 8 years. Who knows. But to have had someone I could talk to might have made all the difference for me.

I applaud your efforts.

[lizbud]

This "story" sounds like it was lifted straight out of one of those old
romance story magazines, or paperbacks.

[Marigold2]

How dumb of me to think that I could honestly post my emotions here and my thoughts and some heartbreak. And perhaps get some support for this, it is hard on me as well to see two young people I truly love in agony and a child's life hanging in the balance.
I don't understand Lizbud why you would be so mean. These people are in pain........................
Shame on you for mocking this very painful time.
I am glad they came to me, if I could give them a moments love and support it is worth it.
As for advice if they didn't trust me and respect my advice they would not have asked.

This "story" sounds like it was lifted straight out of one of those old
romance story magazines, or paperbacks.

[carole]

Monica from what i read you have done nothing wrong, there is nothing odd about it at all, obviously these young people trust and love you and since they are unable to turn to their parents have turned to you, you also gave them the right advice to seek counselling, IMO not all professionals know everything, life experiences count for alot.

Yes sometimes people just need someone else to talk to, a problem shared can be a problem halved in some cases, a good example is what Queen of Poop had to say, if only someone had been there for her in her time of need, and most of us know what Gail went through, it was not nice.,and she is still paying the price.

Monica i would not get too upset about the negative comments towards you, you know in your heart what you did was right and that is all that matters, and plenty here agree with you.

I hope that your dear young friends, work things out and can stay together and have a happy life together in the future.

[carole]

Monica from what i read you have done nothing wrong, there is nothing odd about it at all, obviously these young people trust and love you and since they are unable to turn to their parents have turned to you, you also gave them the right advice to seek counselling, IMO not all professionals know everything, life experiences count for alot.

Yes sometimes people just need someone else to talk to, a problem shared can be a problem halved in some cases, a good example is what Queen of Poop had to say, if only someone had been there for her in her time of need, and most of us know what Gail went through, it was not nice.,and she is still paying the price.

Monica i would not get too upset about the negative comments towards you, you know in your heart what you did was right and that is all that matters, and plenty here agree with you.

I hope that your dear young friends, work things out and can stay together and have a happy life together in the future.

[Daisy and Delilah]

I don't understand Lizbud why you would be so mean. These people are in pain........................
Shame on you for mocking this very painful time.
I am glad they came to me, if I could give them a moments love and support it is worth it.
As for advice if they didn't trust me and respect my advice they would not have asked.

I have to ask; is this anything like disrespecting Gary Coleman's family in the other thread? I'm pretty sure his family is in serious pain and suffering over his death.
However, it's okay to laugh at his family but not okay for anyone here to comment on the content of this thread??

For the record: I'm not criticizing the fact that you helped someone that needed help, Marigold. I just don't get your double standard here.

[Marigold2]

The diference is Coleman is dead and cannot be hurt by what we say. And as far as I know no one hear knows him personally, they are not a loved one.

These people are alive and suffering...........I love these people very much and they love me.

She could not go to her parents, I understand why.
And for him, his mom did nothing but yell and make him feel worthless and as if he was a failure.
He is not, he made a mistake, he is young and these things happen.
I just gave them someone to vent to without the fear of being yelled at or told how wrong or how bad he is or who was to blame.
Everyone needs a person they can trust, someone who will support and love them regardless of the situation, in good and bad times in happy and bad time times. Not everyone has a family that they can go to or trust to understand and not judge. For some it's a neighbor or school teacher, a co-worker or pastor or a friend one has meet in life. Trust is a funny thing, you earn it without even knowing it, just by being you.
There are scores of people who feel alone and afraid in this world. Queen of Poop I am so sorry for your heartache. Hugs to you and I am hoping your life is a million times better now.
People sometimes feel they have no one to turn to, that no one will understand or be willig to help. In a world of billions of people when we are with people all day long, married, have parents and friends some still feel totally alone . Sometimes the person you trust and speak to is almost a stranger but in them you find some kindness or understanding that makes it ok to trust them.
If I have helped these young people and I know I have all the mean words and cutting remarks don't mean a thing.
Their happiness is what counts.

I have to ask; is this anything like disrespecting Gary Coleman's family in the other thread? I'm pretty sure his family is in serious pain and suffering over his death.
However, it's okay to laugh at his family but not okay for anyone here to comment on the content of this thread??

For the record: I'm not criticizing the fact that you helped someone that needed help, Marigold. I just don't get your double standard here.

[pomtzu]

This "story" sounds like it was lifted straight out of one of those old
romance story magazines, or paperbacks.

I was thinking along the same line - that the OP's posts read like a badly written soap opera. They are all so dramatic, and get more so as time goes by. And since we are only the readers of this soap, we know nothing of what was said between the 3 of them, and I for one, don't care. It might have been helpful to this couple, but then again, maybe not. And since this young couple appears to be very green regarding the ups and downs of marriage, they might be getting advice from an "older/more experienced" person, that they think sounds right. It must be - right??? - afterall - she's been married for a long time, so that must mean she knows what she's talking about.

Marigold - please stay out of it and leave the advice to the experts. And I'm not picking on you, and I would advise anyone on here - friend or foe - to do the same thing.

[Catty1]

The OP told them to seek professional advice.

[pomtzu]

The OP told them to seek professional advice.

I'm aware of that - as acknowledged in a previous post.

[Marigold2]

Perhaps some day you will need a friend to listen to your woes, to support you and to just listen and give love. With your attitude I hope you find someome. Or perhaps when you are crying in someones arms they will say, "sorry can't help you go to the pros"

I was thinking along the same line - that the OP's posts read like a badly written soap opera. They are all so dramatic, and get more so as time goes by. And since we are only the readers of this soap, we know nothing of what was said between the 3 of them, and I for one, don't care. It might have been helpful to this couple, but then again, maybe not. And since this young couple appears to be very green regarding the ups and downs of marriage, they might be getting advice from an "older/more experienced" person, that they think sounds right. It must be - right??? - afterall - she's been married for a long time, so that must mean she knows what she's talking about.

Marigold - please stay out of it and leave the advice to the experts. And I'm not picking on you, and I would advise anyone on here - friend or foe - to do the same thing.

[Catty1]

Marigold, I'm with you. Sometime parents aren't cruel - but are just emotionally unavailable.

For the last few years of my sister's life, my mom was involved with her, and necessarily so. I didn't resent that, but needed someone to talk to at times. Thank God I had a mom-figure at work!