Court Fight waged over brain damaged moms tripplets

[Karen]

The children can meet her, and understand her situation. They can talk to her, just as one might speak to a coma patient. We do not know how much she sees or understands, but a touch is still a touch. A voice is still a voice. And she is their mother, and as children, they are bound, sooner or later, to wonder about her.

And, next time, you can be honest with sounding so cruel. Remember, this is Pet Talk.

[caseysmom]

I guess some folks don't really mean "till death do us part" maybe they should say "until its not convenient anymore"

[Marigold2]

My mom was in a coma after her car accident and I sat at her bedside, it was a nightmare. Had she lived and stayed in the coma I would have stopped going to see her.
I had three kids who needed a mom.
My mom and I talked about this very thing six months before her accident because Steve's mom had a stroke and my mom said she did not want to live like that and be a burden. Being in a coma is no life. I feel the same.
I would not put my kids through that. Sometimes love means letting go and letting others live their lives without you, for it is best for them.
None of us know how much time we have on this earth, life is not fair and there is no explaintion as to why a two year old dies of cancer and the 103 year old man in the nursing home still has a beating heart and no visitors.
But when the brain is dead and the heart is not I believe the soul has left and it is time for the living to move on and let the living dead pass on as well.
If I die or wind up in a coma I expect Steve to move on. I would be a tough act to follow but I would want him to have someone to be with and never sit by my bedside and waste his life.

[pomtzu]

Marigold - try walking in the shoes of the "grandma" in this case.

So now YOU are grandma, and YOUR DAUGHTER is "veggie salad", who was once married and had a horrible accident during childbirth. Your once son-in-law takes this child and moves away, refusing to let your grandchild see his mother, and you in turn, can't see your grandchild. You ship your veggie salad daughter off to a nursing home and essentially abandon her, so you can get on with your life, and to Hell with her. Her "life" is over, the cards have been dealt, life is for the "living", so put her where she is out of sight/out of mind, and get back to your "normal" life, be happy, and live life to the fullest. How pathetic and sad..........

Is that what YOU would do??? I believe it is. I sincerely hope that your daughter never has the opportunity to read this thread.

[Alysser]

You keep saying "if that was me..", well that isn't you. You say what you'd want in such a situation, but from what I've learnt you can't interpret what you would do or want in a certain situation UNTIL you're in that situation. You have no idea what you'd want if you were in her situation. There is no way you could know because that's just it, it hasn't happened to you. You could say you do not want your kids to see you like that but I'm sure if the tables were turned you'd feel differently. I've said things similar and it always turned out differently. I said if anyone in my family got a major disease that could kill, I would not want to live anymore, I would be beside myself. But when my mom got cancer in 2005, I surprised myself by being the strongest I could for her. I can't imagine a mom would wouldn't want to see their kids in her situation. I also don't think your kids (or anyone) would be happy knowing they were "living their life to the fullest" and they were not seeing their mother no matter what state of life she was living. I just don't understand that mentality.

It might've been the cards she was dealt but it doesn't make her useless or her life useless. Maybe she can't speak, hug, feed, or whatever else to her children but that's not what LOVE is. It doesn't mean she is incapable of loving someone. Personally, I don't think any life is useless and there is still always hope. While a coma might not be a good life, it's still a life..doesn't make it useless. Not in my mind anyway. I also can't imagine what parent would just put their child in a nursing home and forget about them like that..