I hope the counsellor can help you with this. Tell her what he's said about your "pissy tone". When you're in the spot that you're in it is hard not to have a pissy tone. Maybe it's not you, but its him and he's hearing it come out that way because its what he is used to.

Mine used to accuse me of that all the time. I could be sweet as pie to him and he'd still see it as me being pissy, thus giving him an excuse to be abusive to me and it being all my fault.

Take in what your counsellor has to say. Follow her guidance.

Again, I am so sorry that you're in this spot.