Quote Originally Posted by K9karen View Post
So sad. Been there, so I can fully understand your dad's situation. Being a caretaker is a tough and stressful job. Far be it from me to condemn smoking, so just be sure your dad's around when she lights up. Grandmom may forget she's holding a ciggie. The mind sure is an intricate thing. And it's ever so sad to see our loved ones slip away from reality. I think the phone calls and support you're giving your dear dad is good medicine for him. You're a good daughter.
since she sleeps all morning & most the afternoon, that means can can only smoke from dinner time until 10pm (when dad puts her to bed), she can & does read in bed, but there is NO smoking in bed Dad is always home for the night just before dinner time

Dad has tested the floor a few times to see what happens when a full smoke is lit & falls.. It just leaves a mark, no smoke, no fire, no spark.. nothing happens.. So he feels confident about it. He still hates it, but hes kinda stuck... Shes not an adult so you can't talk to her like one... shes a teen & has horrid fits of rage & then cries... It's pretty bad.. Dad just can't do it to her. Also smoking is one of the very few things she enjoys & can do...

I also told him to keep an eye on Buttons, cause she might start to accidentally abuse him (use him as an ashtray). He said he knows, he's been keeping an eye on how she is with him. She is a little too rough with him as hes not a puppy anymore (pushes him off the chair so she can get up.. its hard on his bad back, he needs to be set down.. not like she could do that anyways)... So dad does his best to keep the dog healthy so it can outlive grandma... Right now it's going to be close.. Grandma isn't like she use to be & neither is Buttons (14yrs old this yr)... If that dog dies I can see grandma falling into Dementia super fast. That dog is her life.. If the dog outlives her, the dog will be put down & buried with her... The dog is HER dog, Grandma is HIS life... When she was in the hospital for 2 weeks several yrs ago, the dog nearly killed himself. He went insane. Refused to eat & drink, wouldn't sleep, & barked non-stop, as he was trying to find Grandma.. He was rushed to the vet so he wouldn't die.. he was given meds & an IV... After that, they took him to visit her every day. He would eat in her room & drink.. when he was home he was lost again, but only until the next day.. he was calmer but a complete mess.. poor little guy