My poor Grandma :(

[Freedom]

Dementia is hard on everyone. I am sorry to read this update on your Grandma. My Dad also has a form of dementia, cerebrovascular dementia. There are over 30 types!

Here are a few suggestions:
- Dad needs to attend a caregiver support group; the help you get from other caregivers is priceless!anyone else to hep care for her should attend one as well.
- get the doctor to make the diagnosis, as many of the "benefits' kick in once you have that in hand.
- talk with the social worker at your local Alzheimer's Assn. chapter. They help with all forms of dementia, not just the Alzheimer's type.
- chat with the nurse at the local senior center, and the elder care specialist there as well.

One thing I can share with you (and everyone in any support group I've attended says this): with dementia, things suddenly happen fast, and you must know which resources are out there so you can develop a solution to whatever problem just cropped up. You can go along with no changes for weeks, months even and then suddenly 2 or 3 things change all at once. It is hard to cope with in a crisis, so knowing who to turn to is a HUGE asset. Then thins seem to hum along or weeks or months again; until the next upheaval. Just the way the disease is.

[king2005]

Dementia is hard on everyone. I am sorry to read this update on your Grandma. My Dad also has a form of dementia, cerebrovascular dementia. There are over 30 types!

Here are a few suggestions:
- Dad needs to attend a caregiver support group; the help you get from other caregivers is priceless!anyone else to hep care for her should attend one as well.
- get the doctor to make the diagnosis, as many of the "benefits' kick in once you have that in hand.
- talk with the social worker at your local Alzheimer's Assn. chapter. They help with all forms of dementia, not just the Alzheimer's type.
- chat with the nurse at the local senior center, and the elder care specialist there as well.

One thing I can share with you (and everyone in any support group I've attended says this): with dementia, things suddenly happen fast, and you must know which resources are out there so you can develop a solution to whatever problem just cropped up. You can go along with no changes for weeks, months even and then suddenly 2 or 3 things change all at once. It is hard to cope with in a crisis, so knowing who to turn to is a HUGE asset. Then thins seem to hum along or weeks or months again; until the next upheaval. Just the way the disease is.

30 different kinds? I had no idea Alzheimers was one type of Dementia. My dad most likely knows as he took ummm some kind of special nursing in college & he's worked with Mentally ill people all his life.. so he's a good fit for this job. I know its gotta be hard on him because its his mother.. His father was a jerk & when I met him the first time, I'm sure he was abusive to his kids, as he struck me out of the blue in MY home... But grandma is a sweet heart & always has been. My sister & I have always been her favorites, as we're soooo well behaved & we do things with her, unlike our ungreatful cousins!!

I will pass the above info to my dad. I know he has been seeing a caretaker for a refresher & new tips. However if Dementia comes & goes then he's going to be stuck with her to the end. He wont have the heart to put her away & she wont be able to handle it. She screams & cries for dad all the time. He doesn't stray far anymore, because when he returns shes getting upset more & more when being left alone, its scaring her... As of right now, she is ok if dad is gone for 1hr at a time, but not a min more.

When dad's best friend of 30 yrs's mother died (dad knew her well too) a couple months ago, dad wasn't going to go as he had to care for her. Well Rosemary caught wind & drove over to the island (PEI, from NS) to take care of their mother, so dad could fly to Ontario to go to the funeral. Dad wasn't too sure about as Rosemary is crippled (one of her legs was fused straight (not at the hip)... But Rosemary pretty much kicked him to his room to pack... Dad showed her how to care, help & clean their mother... Needless to say when dad returned after being gone for 2 days, Rosemary & grandma were THRILLED to see him again. It didn't go well at all. Grandma refused to ask Rosemary for help, or for food if she was hungry, or help to go pee.. nothing... They were bother terribly stressed out, but Rosemary said she WILL do it again if another emergency comes up.. As dad has NO life Rosemary has been coming to the island several times a month lately to spend the dad with grandma. This allows dad to sit back & relax a little.. but he still has to do all the work for her, but it means that he can take off for a few hrs to visit friends & he just has to say, she needs "(a drink, snack, pudding, milkshake, cookie, tea, water, etc)" at such & such a time.. He's never very far, ,as all his friends live in the same building. He also takes care of them.

My dad's friend's kids have given their mother special coupons. When they want to go out shopping, or out for a drive, or whatever, they give my dad a coupon. Dad keeps them in a bowl, & once a month the daughter comes over to collect the coupons & gives my dad money for the gas he has spent. Everyone just LOVES the system, & Betty loves to pop over to wave a coupon at my dad to go somewhere. It gets dad out of the house for an hr+ (he leaves the girls to check on his mother, then goes back to hanging out with them while they shop their hearts out)... He pushes their carts, lifts heavy items, & then loads & unloads the car. Betty & her friend can no longer drive (age &/or they can't afford their cars). Dad loves it, he's always loved shopping with us as kids.. he'll follow us around while we look & poke things, or he'll window shop near by..

oops.. kinda wrote a lot