If he doesn't want to walk, then he doesn't walk. Not sure it is that big of a deal, and yee-haw! no boring speeches.

BUT, I do feel something should be done to celebrate the event. An informal gathering, a picnic, whatever. Something that sets the day apart from others.

Like others, I, too, got my degrees that very day. If you didn't attend, it was mailed. I don't think I would be inclined to spend $100 just to participate, he he he...those schools got enough of my money. (Though, I did attend both my BA and JD ceremonies). Prolly wouldn't do it today. Good thing I am not planning on any more learnin'!

As for making him tell the in-laws...not sure I follow. Why not, when YOU are asked, say, "He has decided not to participate...not a huge deal to us"...as long as it isn't. Why pit the in-laws against your son? (WE want him to do it, he won't do it...so, go ask him why he won't do it...).