My own son opted to not go to his graduation ceremony, he had what he went for and that was his diploma. None of us got upset about it, I was just PROUD that he got his diploma.

It is HIS graduation and he should do as he wants and people respect that. If he don't want a big show and to sit through all that hoop la, then he shouldn't have to.

I say just have a party or a meal out with everyone to celebrate the graduation and let that be it.. I would also leave it up to HIM to explain to the grandparents and let that be between them.

My bet is that if you asked all the graduatiing classes today, half would rather not go to the ceremony, they only do it because it is expected of them.