I am going to be negitive Nancy. But before I do, I want to say that this can be a wonderful thing.
However, the reality of it is that most men when they say this MEAN it. He will most likely break up with your sister, meet someone new very quickly, never pay child support, never give the baby any love or support.
You don't know if his new girlfriend will like the child, be abusive to it when it visits. And you will have very little control over that. Once boyfriend and new girl shut the door, that baby is at their mercy. If his family wants to see the baby it can be horrible, having to share your child with people you might not like on weekends, summers and holidays. Your sister will be stuck with this man all her life, and they can very easily grow to hate each other and the child will suffer.
When my boys were 6 and 4 they flew to Fl to stay with my ex for 6 weeks and his new wife, they hated it, he dropped them off at a video arcade and left them for hours. They were 4 and 6, I being in Ohio had no idea and no control. Found all this out when the boys came home how unhappy they were. That was with wife two, then they visited with wife three the year after that, she was a out of control alcholalic. After that he decided they were too much trouble and didn't have anything to do with them again.
Luckly I had remarried my cutie and Steve is their dad is EVERY sense of the world. He is dad, there is no step or half in this family. Those words have never been spoken or thought we are all one unit. Steve took them in as his own and has done his best for them and they are very very close. I was lucky, very lucky.
Your sister if she becomes ill or dies will need someone to take care of the child an most likely money will be a daily issues.
So that is the bad, which I have seen, I think we all have.
And we have all the it turn out well.
But as I mentioned if he doesn't want it, why don't women take a man at his word, he is being honest???
Maybe she could give it up for adoption.
Either way best of luck to you and your family, I hope it all turns out well.
I have given the same advice here I would give to my own 23 year old daughter so I am speaking as an honest mom.
Reply With Quote
Bookmarks