I'm going to be an Aunt!!!! Need advice too...

[Karen]

It's a stressful time, but can also be a happy time. Hey, and summertime is yard sale time, so you'll have plenty of opportunity to stick up on baby stuff before she's due!

[king2005]

It's a stressful time, but can also be a happy time. Hey, and summertime is yard sale time, so you'll have plenty of opportunity to stick up on baby stuff before she's due!

Thats why Freecycle is so great. It's like going to yard sales all year long, but you bring no money lol

There are always soooo many baby things being given away its crazy!

[Marigold2]

I am going to be negitive Nancy. But before I do, I want to say that this can be a wonderful thing.
However, the reality of it is that most men when they say this MEAN it. He will most likely break up with your sister, meet someone new very quickly, never pay child support, never give the baby any love or support.
You don't know if his new girlfriend will like the child, be abusive to it when it visits. And you will have very little control over that. Once boyfriend and new girl shut the door, that baby is at their mercy. If his family wants to see the baby it can be horrible, having to share your child with people you might not like on weekends, summers and holidays. Your sister will be stuck with this man all her life, and they can very easily grow to hate each other and the child will suffer.
When my boys were 6 and 4 they flew to Fl to stay with my ex for 6 weeks and his new wife, they hated it, he dropped them off at a video arcade and left them for hours. They were 4 and 6, I being in Ohio had no idea and no control. Found all this out when the boys came home how unhappy they were. That was with wife two, then they visited with wife three the year after that, she was a out of control alcholalic. After that he decided they were too much trouble and didn't have anything to do with them again.
Luckly I had remarried my cutie and Steve is their dad is EVERY sense of the world. He is dad, there is no step or half in this family. Those words have never been spoken or thought we are all one unit. Steve took them in as his own and has done his best for them and they are very very close. I was lucky, very lucky.
Your sister if she becomes ill or dies will need someone to take care of the child an most likely money will be a daily issues.
So that is the bad, which I have seen, I think we all have.
And we have all the it turn out well.
But as I mentioned if he doesn't want it, why don't women take a man at his word, he is being honest???
Maybe she could give it up for adoption.
Either way best of luck to you and your family, I hope it all turns out well.
I have given the same advice here I would give to my own 23 year old daughter so I am speaking as an honest mom.

[Karen]

I don't know what child support laws are like in Canada, if your sister is planning on him for any kind of monetary support, she should look into things now.

[king2005]

I'm not too worried about it. If he leaves it'll be a good thing in the end. Her & his parents are close & his parents & the whole family aren't those kinds of people. They wouldn't allow Sean to not pay for support, they would kill him if he tried, or his sister in law would rip off his head. My sister is VERY much part of their whole family, they love her dearly, considering they took her to Ireland for a week + their other two sons & their g/fs... They will be P-ed about it happening out of wedlock & thats about it.

If things do get ugly, She'll come here. Her b/f will be far too lazy to come to this city to visit, so the baby will be better off.

My sister made it quite clear to him that if she got knocked up before they had planned it, it WILL be kept, period... She wasn't lying when she told him that, so I don't see why her word means less then his. Her word will always trump his as its her body. So if he really didn't want kids or didn't want them yet, he should have locked Mr. Happy up until he was ready to take responsibility for his own actions.

[king2005]

I don't know what child support laws are like in Canada, if your sister is planning on him for any kind of monetary support, she should look into things now.

They are wicked nasty in Ontario... For the fathers that is... They will hunt you down & will take the $ right out of your bank account.

Our family knows all about it... we went through it... However dad & mom were on good terms by this point so when the new laws came in effect both signed a paper stating they wanted to stay on the old system, as my dad wasn't giving my mom support on a monthly bases, he was giving it all to my sister to get her life started, but she would only get it twice a yr (for school).

[Momto4FemaleFelines]

I think you just need to be there for your sister in whatever way YOU feel comfortable in being there for her.
Try to be neutral about the father.
And don't put 100% trust in the fact the fathers parents seem cool....Do the stuff legally...get the child support papers or whatever will be needed started on now.

[king2005]

I think you just need to be there for your sister in whatever way YOU feel comfortable in being there for her.
Try to be neutral about the father.
And don't put 100% trust in the fact the fathers parents seem cool....Do the stuff legally...get the child support papers or whatever will be needed started on now.

My sister will never talk to me again if I send her legal papers this soon, nor will she be able to handle it mentally (this is the big issue). I spoke to dad today to give him a heads up, & to make sure he's on board with me... Be positive & supportive about it, no matter how we feel about the situation.

Dad agrees & will keep quiet until she tells him (my dad is crazy understanding & the best dad out there) Dad wants me to keep on top of this, as I'm the only person my sister shares her skeletons with (which I didn't know until a few mins ago, as I said something that my dad had no idea of.. oops)..

so when doo doo hits the fan I have to be the one to jump in with the word lawyer to get the ball rolling... She wont listen to dad on most things, but she listens to me on just about everything (what dad said today), so dad is sure she'll be ok as long as I call her every few days to keep tabs on everything. So if doo doo starts to fly I'll be able to catch it right away & start the lawyer side of things asap.

Its so weird feeling happy, protective, & this cautious all at once... damn...