What happened to....

[cassiesmom]

Two examples. On Saturday my mom (who's 75, but don't tell her I told you) and I (43) went Christmas shopping. We stopped for a quick lunch at a chain restaurant near the shopping center. The server greeted us by saying, "Hi, I'm (name), can I get you guys something to drink?" I have two comments: a) neither of us are guys, last I checked we were both female; and b) is there a less-informal way of asking that question? If I'm with friends, that's a totally appropriate question; but I think my mom is entitled to a slightly more formal version of the question, just on the basis of her age. (Those of you who've waited tables, go ahead and flame me for that.)

So we get to the mall and decide to take a shortcut through Abercrombie and Fitch, which has one entrance off the parking lot and another from the shopping center walkway, to get to the store we're headed for. We're greeted by a young woman who said (kid you not): "Hi, how's it goin'?" I thought I heard it wrong, but on our way back through the store to the car, the same thing happened. I was floored. Whatever happened to good afternoon, or even a simple hello?

[Medusa]

Two examples. On Saturday my mom (who's 75, but don't tell her I told you) and I (43) went Christmas shopping. We stopped for a quick lunch at a chain restaurant near the shopping center. The server greeted us by saying, "Hi, I'm (name), can I get you guys something to drink?" I have two comments: a) neither of us are guys, last I checked we were both female; and b) is there a less-informal way of asking that question? If I'm with friends, that's a totally appropriate question; but I think my mom is entitled to a slightly more formal version of the question, just on the basis of her age. (Those of you who've waited tables, go ahead and flame me for that.)

So we get to the mall and decide to take a shortcut through Abercrombie and Fitch, which has one entrance off the parking lot and another from the shopping center walkway, to get to the store we're headed for. We're greeted by a young woman who said (kid you not): "Hi, how's it goin'?" I thought I heard it wrong, but on our way back through the store to the car, the same thing happened. I was floored. Whatever happened to good afternoon, or even a simple hello?

The "you guys" thing always bugged me, too. When I was managing the band from S. Africa, they thought it was the thing to say when addressing audiences in America. "Hey, how you guys doin'?!" Aaargh! I repeatedly told them to stop it and finally I threatened to cut their mic if they did it again. Honestly though, I can't say that I see it as disrespect so much as being overly casual and familiar. That doesn't mean I like it, though.

[Lilith Cherry]

"A dying culture invariably exhibits personal rudeness. Bad manners. Lack of consideration for others in minor matters. A loss of politeness, of gentle manners, is more significant than is a riot..."
— Robert A. Heinlein

I think this is sadly true... I brought my sons up to respect others and be polite and hope I am polite to everyone as far as possible. However it saddened me when I saw my sons being disrespected or even cursed at when doing something like holding a door open for a "lady"

EVERYONE young or old deserves to be treated politely!

[Medusa]

"A dying culture invariably exhibits personal rudeness. Bad manners. Lack of consideration for others in minor matters. A loss of politeness, of gentle manners, is more significant than is a riot..."
— Robert A. Heinlein

I think this is sadly true... I brought my sons up to respect others and be polite and hope I am polite to everyone as far as possible. However it saddened me when I saw my sons being disrespected or even cursed at when doing something like holding a door open for a "lady"

EVERYONE young or old deserves to be treated politely!

Did I read that right? Your sons were cursed at for being courteous by holding a door for someone? Good grief!

[Lilith Cherry]

Yes Medusa, sad to say they were; so much for hard-faced wrong thinking "womens libbers"!! I am glad to say though that they are still polite gentlemen of whom I am very proud

[smokey the elder]

Thanks for the Heinlein quote. I was trying to remember it; he also (I think) called manners the lubricant that smooths civilization or something like that. He was quite the wise old curmudgeon.

There is hope; my niece is bringing up her kids with good manners, and I make it a point to complement her and reinforce the kids when I see them. To this day I have trouble calling my doctoral advisor by her given name; I wouldn't do it until she kept teasing me!

[sparks19]

Yeah I'm also one that just couldn't call my friends parents by their first names even if they asked me too. Except my best friend in highschool LOL I ended up starting to call her mom ... MOM 2. lol we spent so much time at each others house it was like we were sharing parents. And even still now her mom refers to herself as my other mom haha.

So now with Hannah since it seems to becoming more and more that people want to be called by their first names instead of mr or mrs (I dont' know why but some people get ticked when you call them mrs X or Mr Y and insist that Mrs X is their mother and not them lol) So for those who don't want to be called by their last names we refer to t hem as Miss Tina or Mr Joe. That way we are respecting their want to be called by their first name but still using the formal Miss and Mr