Etiquette question?

[Karen]

It is easy not to know how you smell - the nose gets tired of the same smell after a while.

It might be kindest, if you can bring yourself to do it, to say something to him. Just say "Bob, this is awkward, but there's something about the way you smell that really is bothering now that I am pregnant. Maybe you could change your deodorant or something ... I don't want to embarrass you, but that's why I haven't been able to be near you much lately. Or, leave him an anonymous "gift" of grooming products as others suggested.

[caseysmom]

Well this is gross but I can tell if I smell...I got sick of myself when I was injured and didn't bathe everyday...I knew

[M&M's Mommy]

It is easy not to know how you smell - the nose gets tired of the same smell after a while.

It might be kindest, if you can bring yourself to do it, to say something to him. Just say "Bob, this is awkward, but there's something about the way you smell that really is bothering now that I am pregnant. Maybe you could change your deodorant or something ... I don't want to embarrass you, but that's why I haven't been able to be near you much lately. Or, leave him an anonymous "gift" of grooming products as others suggested.

Someone on the other forum suggested Vicks vapor rub.. I'm going to try to get some tonight.. Hopefully it'll help.

At this point, I've yet had any problems smelling any foods, cleaning supplies, or other things pregnant women may have problems with. The only thing that I really cannot stand so far is my co-worker!

I may suddenly dislike the smell of Clorox, but it doesn't give me such a strong reaction like this guy's odor does. I get dizzy just as he approaches, nauseous when he's here, and begin to feel light-headed (like I'm about to loose consciousness) after only a few minutes being in close proximity to him. I know it sounds mean, but he has the most unpleasant smell I've ever experienced...

I did notice his strong body odor before, but could hold my breath & was fine. Now that I'm pregnant, it's 100 times worse! While it may be best to talk to him myself, I just can't imagine doing that right now.

[Husky_mom]

you can tell him.. that he needs to change deodorant/ cologne or whatever he´s using as your pregnancy has triggered a super sensitive sense of smell and you just can´t take it.. that way he won´t feel as he smells bad.. because you are not literally saying that he should use deodorant, just change brand..


once i had a co-worker that never took a bath... he could easily go 2 weeks without one.. and even use the same stinky clothes ... one time we´ve all had enough about giving hints and running away form him that he was told directly to take a bath that he stenched (he literally left an odor path wherever he passed by).... and he said if you don´t like it, it´s not my problem.... what?!.. he was aware of that.. he just didn´t cared... and what´s worse... haha.. he had a girlfriend.. poor girl.. unless she was the same..lol...

[Husky_mom]

you can tell him.. that he needs to change deodorant/ cologne or whatever he´s using as your pregnancy has triggered a super sensitive sense of smell and you just can´t take it.. that way he won´t feel as he smells bad.. because you are not literally saying that he should use deodorant, just change brand..


once i had a co-worker that never took a bath... he could easily go 2 weeks without one.. and even use the same stinky clothes ... one time we´ve all had enough about giving hints and running away form him that he was told directly to take a bath that he stenched (he literally left an odor path wherever he passed by).... and he said if you don´t like it, it´s not my problem.... what?!.. he was aware of that.. he just didn´t cared... and what´s worse... haha.. he had a girlfriend.. poor girl.. unless she was the same..lol...

[aTailOf2Kitties]

is the smelly guy from another country by some chance? In some cultures it is an honor to reek because it proves that you have been working hard. There was a guy from India that used to clean the dorms back when I was in college. You could literally tell where he had been 5 minutes beforehand.

[caseysmom]

is the smelly guy from another country by some chance? In some cultures it is an honor to reek because it proves that you have been working hard. There was a guy from India that used to clean the dorms back when I was in college. You could literally tell where he had been 5 minutes beforehand.

I think that guy had bad grooming habits, I work with many people from India and none of them smell.

[kitten645]

I had the same problem sans the pregnancy issue. I had an additional dilema that it WAS a cultural thing. A good friend of mine who shared space with this person told me they had discussed it and it was a cultural thing tied in with their diet (very hot/spicy food) The "offender" appreciated the input and was more aware going forward.
By the same token, I think you can get away with alot being pregnant. He may be receptive due to your condition. I would personally go the HR route.
I also remember when I saw Silence of the Lambs, Jody Foster put something on her upper lip when checking a decaying body. Maybe some nice smell would offset the bad?
I do feel for you. I have a hyper sensitive nose. The smell of cigarette on a person does me in!
Claudia

[K9karen]

Oh My. Had the same situation at my last job (and nobody was preggers). The sweetest, most lovely, kind, friendly, sincere young man had a very severe personal hygiene issue, dirty clothes included.

Finally his supervisor had the horrendous task of telling him, as an anonymous can of deordorant didn't quite make it's point.

Sadly, poor guy burst into tears. Then shortly afterwards, his apartment caught on fire and he lost everything. We took up a collection, of course, most likely out of guilt.

He moved in with an aunt until he got settled, and she must have taken the task of cleaning him up, 'cause not only was his hair and body clean, his clothes were as well. I left shortly afterwards, so I don't know if this continued.

I have a sensitive nose and retch and dry heave easily when I smell something offensive. Sometimes I bathe 2-3x a day.

[DJFyrewolf36]

I'm hopping in on this from a unique perspective. I have a medical condtion that causes me to stink...bad at times. Its embarassing, and no matter how clean my clothes are or how much I shower sometimes I just smell awful. Deoderant and such only works for so long in the heat . Ive been written up at work for smelling bad because someone told my supervisor I had a problem. I work 12 hour days next to a boiler. It isn't as if Im allowed to shower halfway through. By the end of the day, I can't smell myself lol. I would have much rather been told by the person that was offended so I can at least not be in such close proximity to them when they are around rather than being hauled into my bosses office and getting a permanent hygene repremand in my file.

[Cataholic]

I agree with dry! Tell him yourself. To get others involved seems unkind, and you mentioned you don't want to hurt his feelings. To leave a secret package so that he can wonder and feel ashamed seems very unkind.

[smokey the elder]

It sounds like you have a good working relationship with the guy. I agree that if you preface it with a reference to change in how you perceive smells due to pregnancy, that will be a disarming gesture and he'll be more receptive. Good luck!

[Edwina's Secretary]

I ask this question - if the roles were reversed - which you would you rather?

I would want to hear from the person - I'm pregnant and hyper-sensitive - etc. And I really need your help.

I have always thought the anonymous gift route a bit hurtful.