The frustrations of needy, clingy men!!

**Nomilynn** · 02-28-2009, 02:47 PM

I met a guy online once and we went out for dinner. That was it. After that one night, I knew that he was WAAAYYY more into it than me. Anyway, he didn't take the hint. He contstantly texted me, emailed, etc. and I finally said "Look I just didn't feel a connection with you. You are a nice guy but not my type." Well.. you would have thought we were engaged. He said "I really felt something that night and I really thought we had a future together."

A FUTURE!?? I met him ONE TIME and I gave him a hug goodnight to thank him for driving, that was all. He was a real weirdo.

Anyhoo - the moral of my story is, if you have these instincts now, they are probably right!! And it is SO WRONG on a first meeting for him to think that you should have to meet his family! Who does that??

**Flatcoatluver** · 02-28-2009, 02:53 PM

I think it was best that you didn't go today, but what was his reactions? Did he seem really dissapointed?

**Medusa** · 02-28-2009, 03:52 PM

If you're having feelings like this now, Jenn, there's nowhere to go from here. It's only going to get worse. Delete him from your Facebook account, keep yourself invisible when online, check caller ID to be sure that you don't pick up when he calls. Just make yourself unavailable. You've talked to him about it and he's not seeing it the way you see it, so it isn't being cruel to disappear; it's being safe. Don't waste any more time w/him, especially if you're serious about finding someone with whom you can truly be comfortable. I became nervous and edgy just reading your post. Do you really want to be w/someone who's needy and clingy? He's that way already and you haven't even met. No. Run.

**Daisy and Delilah** · 02-28-2009, 05:43 PM

Originally Posted by Medusa

If you're having feelings like this now, Jenn, there's nowhere to go from here. It's only going to get worse. Delete him from your Facebook account, keep yourself invisible when online, check caller ID to be sure that you don't pick up when he calls. Just make yourself unavailable. You've talked to him about it and he's not seeing it the way you see it, so it isn't being cruel to disappear; it's being safe. Don't waste any more time w/him, especially if you're serious about finding someone with whom you can truly be comfortable. I became nervous and edgy just reading your post. Do you really want to be w/someone who's needy and clingy? He's that way already and you haven't even met. No. Run.

Ditto. He sounds like he might have issues. It's probably best to leave him alone all together.

**jennielynn1970** · 02-28-2009, 05:59 PM

Originally Posted by Flatcoatluver

I think it was best that you didn't go today, but what was his reactions? Did he seem really dissapointed?

He totally freaked out. I'm also sick as heck with a stomach bug, so that is a legit excuse, but omg, you would have thought that I was just doing the worst thing ever. He said how the kids were going to be upset, and how he was going to send them home early because he didn't want them to see him being so upset and all kinds of things. It got to be really dramatic. I tried to answer him and being very calm about it all, and said I didn't feel comfortable meeting him, and that I was still sick, and how I was sorry. I'm not the one who invited 3 little girls over to meet me my first time meeting him. Between that and meeting his mom and possibly a sister, it was just too much. Add in all the other stuff on top of that, and you've got one very uncomfortable date!

**blue** · 02-28-2009, 06:20 PM

Link.

**jennielynn1970** · 02-28-2009, 06:37 PM

Originally Posted by blue

Link.

LOL! Thank you!!! I needed that one!

**Marigold2** · 02-28-2009, 08:43 PM

This guy sounds like a stalker. Scary. Also are you sure that everything he told you is the truth?

Maybe he hasn't been 100% honest with you.
I would run from him and yes report his actions to facebook pronto.
What ever happened to meeting a hot guy in a bar? I miss those days. The music, the dancing, eye contact, that first smile, the way they smelled and the way it felt when they held me close to them while dancing. Can't get that on-line. Ah memories like the corners of my mind, sing it Babs.

**Catlady711** · 02-28-2009, 09:26 PM

Being the suspicious person I am, I would never, every give anyone my real email addy, full name, phone number or address to anyone I met online and have not talked to for less than one year. After one year if I think they are ok I may give them my real regular email addy instead of the freebie (so far only 4 people have ever gotten that).

As for meeting people from online, only after talking with them for at least a year with no red flags, and meeting during the daytime in a very public place (I've done that a couple times). Even then they don't get my last name, address or phone number until I've met with them many times in person in public places (so far none have gotten that info).

I'm probably overly cautious about it, but there are alot of sick people out there and for all I know the story they give about themselves could be made up, and the pix could be of someone else entirely. Granted stuff like that is not overly common, but the fact it, it does happen, and I'd rather miss out on meeting people that I may like, than be stalked by a wakko.

If this guy is giving you red flags, and reacting that badly over calling off sick, I'd say ditch the guy, change your phone number, change your email/IM addy, and find someone else more cautiously.

**jennielynn1970** · 02-28-2009, 05:54 PM

Originally Posted by Nomilynn

He contstantly texted me, emailed, etc. and I finally said "Look I just didn't feel a connection with you. You are a nice guy but not my type." Well.. you would have thought we were engaged. He said "I really felt something that night and I really thought we had a future together."

A FUTURE!?? I met him ONE TIME

You should see the one poem he wrote me (yeah... a poem), it has something in it about thinking of how I would be as his WIFE.

**Nomilynn** · 02-28-2009, 05:57 PM

Originally Posted by jenn_librarian

You should see the one poem he wrote me (yeah... a poem), it has something in it about thinking of how I would be as his WIFE.

Oh no!!! Yeah.. run for the hills, knock stuff down as you go behind you, and don't look back!!!

**Karen** · 02-28-2009, 06:32 PM

Originally Posted by jenn_librarian

You should see the one poem he wrote me (yeah... a poem), it has something in it about thinking of how I would be as his WIFE.

Aww, that reminds me of my friend Phillip - I had to convince him giving a woman a poem proclaiming undying love after one date was NOT appropriate. He did it anyway, and that relationship ended - no surprise!

By the way, Phillip did eventually learn, and got married for the first time about 6 months ago to a lovely woman.