Courtesy, manners and tradition

[pomtzu]

And, that is what makes us so special and unique!

Exactly!!! What a dull world this would be if we were all from the same mold!

[sasvermont]

Hmmmm, I will pause the next time I call someone deary or sweetheart, but it won't stop me! I usually pick the name to fit the situation and person. I can't control myself sometimes. I would never have thought that someone would think ill of me if I called them deary etc. etc. To each his own! I think endearment is nice! I would love to think that I had endeared myself to someone.....and imagine it to be a complete stranger! I am a happy go lucky type of person in many ways and will continue on with it!

Would it be better to call the others (strangers) - dude or dudette? Just kidding. Isn't it funny how different a take we have on things in life? And isn't it nice that we can all talk about junk like this and still get along!!!

Don't laugh, I call a close friend of mine dudette. I won't and cannot tell you what she calls me!!!!

[pomtzu]

I would love to think that I had endeared myself to someone.....and imagine it to be a complete stranger!

But.............
Just think. That person calling you dear or hon, is probably calling everyone else the same! That's not a very endearing thought IMO. Just take a look at those in line behind you at the checkout sometime - not always of the dear or hon class. LOL

[sasvermont]

Hey Ms. Pom,

Remember that not everyone qualifies to be called dear or honey. I, for example, save it for special people and circumstances and I trust if anyone is calling me dear or honey, they are responding to my being extremely nice to them, again special circumstances! I think of it as an exchange, not a given or everyday occurrence when dealing with the public! I earn my deary and honey terms and expect the recipients getting the terms from me, to do the same! I am not sure we are thinking of the exchange in the same light. That's OK.

[pomtzu]

Hey Ms. Pom,

Remember that not everyone qualifies to be called dear or honey. I, for example, save it for special people and circumstances and I trust if anyone is calling me dear or honey, they are responding to my being extremely nice to them, again special circumstances! I think of it as an exchange, not a given or everyday occurrence when dealing with the public! I earn my deary and honey terms and expect the recipients getting the terms from me, to do the same! I am not sure we are thinking of the exchange in the same light. That's OK.

Ms Pom isn't necessary. You can call me Ellie!

Let me clarify - my gripe is with people who call EVERYBODY that! I used to work in an office with a girl that called everyone "hon". She was young enough to be my daughter, and tho I did like her, I was not happy with the way she addressed me. I would have preferred she call me Ellie and I asked her to do so - since that's my name. It's almost like she couldn't take the time to remember people's names - so everyone was "hon".

[RICHARD]

I have to laugh about the comments regarding "Ma'am".

I went to a Catholic school for years.

Ma'am, Sir and all the other prefixes are BURNED INTO MY HEAD.

For me it's almost an automatic response.

I can use it to be a sarcastic response. When I want to. I use it to acknowledge a request, order or to let that person know that I have heard what they have said and have no questions about it. So, TO ME, it's an affirmative and in no way is meant to demean or comment on your age or station in life.

I got into a hassle with one woman who was the worst piece of crap on the planet. This 'woman' was an effing troll -with a bad wig to boot- and a real work of art.

Her idea of communication was to be rude, insult you and make you feel stupid.
I made the mistake of calling her, Ma'am and she jumped all over me about it.
Instead, I was counseled, I was to call her by her last name. HitShed.

Her little game was to give you her information at her speed. NO ONE WAS GOING TO GET IT ANY FASTER- so when I tried to show the proper amount of deference and be nice when I spoke to her, I got my arse handed to me.

Later on, I did it on purpose because I wanted her to know and feel that she was being an AH and I had no bearing on her job, she was too stupid or nasty to elevate, Her background-oh, she made it very clear that "some people" (men) were not going to tell her what or how to do things, and that she was not interested in learning how to run any type of tech to make her job easier.


SOOOOOOOOOOO, don't feel OLD when someone call you Ma'am, think of the deference they are showing you. When, I am reminded of that-I apologize and explain why I do it.

Sorry, I went to Catholic school and they taught me manners.


Catlady,

EFFING A STRAIGHT! Each succeeding Gen loses a little of the respect that they should have taken from their mentors.

The people who choose not to be assigned an 'honorific' should stop and then think about me speaking to THEIR PARENTS without that kind of respect.

"You were rude to my parents!" SO WHAT?

---------------

Without my glasses on MS. POM, looks like MS. PORN!


I love to laugh and share jokes with people.

My line about being called HON is relatively easy.

I say to the woman, "You can call me by my first name, Atilla".

Everyone laughs, I don't take exception and the world keeps spinning.

[Medusa]

I got into a hassle with one woman who was the worst piece of crap on the planet. This 'woman' was an effing troll -with a bad wig to boot- and a real work of art.

her last name. HitShed.

she was too stupid or nasty to elevate


Sorry, I went to Catholic school and they taught me manners.

So Richard...which part of the above is considered to be good manners? I understand resenting being condescended to but do you think that responding in kind improves the situation or makes it worse? I think you're better than that.

[Pembroke_Corgi]

Let me clarify - my gripe is with people who call EVERYBODY that! I used to work in an office with a girl that called everyone "hon". She was young enough to be my daughter, and tho I did like her, I was not happy with the way she addressed me. I would have preferred she call me Ellie and I asked her to do so - since that's my name. It's almost like she couldn't take the time to remember people's names - so everyone was "hon".

This reminds me of a teacher I work with- she calls everyone (except maybe the principal) "kiddo." Actual kids, me, other teachers, you name it. It's kind of funny. I don't mind but I do find it a little odd- she's probably about 15 years older than me, but she calls teachers who are older than her kiddo too.

[carole]

Now keeping in mind i have not read all the posts here, but just wanted to make a comment, i was raised with manners being very important, and i tried to pass that on to my own children, i succeeded somewhat,as my grandfather used to say, they are not too heavy to carry around lol.

Some of the old ways were indeed good, but i am also glad some of them have disappeared today, and we live in my mind ,in a much easier going society.

Pleases,thank you's, opening doors, or respecting your elders, are ones that i still do and wanted my children to do.

I think the one thing that bothers me the most today, is the bad language, that is spoken in public everywhere, not one time do i go shopping in town, do i not hear the F word spoken by young woman and men, and sometimes older ones too, it is a shame that society accepts it as the normal and i am not one who never swears, but i just wish when out i did not have to hear it spoken over and over again, like it is everyday acceptable language.


One thing i find funny is my father thinks it is bad manners to wear a hat or cap inside,now my son and daughter both do this, and i have no problem with it what so ever, he thinks it is bad manners, which i find silly, but i guess that was how it was in his day.i tell him he has to move with the times.

[shepgirl]

This has been one of the best discussions ever on the forum. Very interesting to read other people's views on how they like to be addressed. I think calling me dear or honey reminds me of how hospitals use that term for elderly sick patients to make them feel cared for. And I find that an appropriate place to use it. When I get there I might not mind anymore, for now if they smile and say "have a nice day" it's perfect.

Richard - I remember getting sent to my room for calling my brother a stupid dummy when I was about 11 yrs old...don't even remember why I even called him that, I just remember my mother's tone of voice and her eyes as I marched upstairs to my room. As I recall I never used those words again...