Courtesy, manners and tradition

[Cataholic]

Yes, you made a point without name calling. The picture painted was still the same, but, no reference to the word brat was contained in your post. That seems really, really significant to you, so, I want to make sure I state that clearly.

It really ties right in to my point about addressing someone by the title, and how it doesn't really convey anything different to me. It is just a word, the respect is behind the action, not the term. Just like your description of the child's behavior was left without a 'label', but, the meaning (brat) was still inferred.

[Medusa]

Yes, you made a point without name calling. The picture painted was still the same, but, no reference to the word brat was contained in your post. That seems really, really significant to you, so, I want to make sure I state that clearly.

It really ties right in to my point about addressing someone by the title, and how it doesn't really convey anything different to me. It is just a word, the respect is behind the action, not the term. Just like your description of the child's behavior was left without a 'label', but, the meaning (brat) was still inferred.

Mr./Mrs./Miss is a title and denotes respectfulness. Brat is a label. Besides, what child are you referring to? I don't recall speaking of one particular child or one particular behavior. I think perhaps I should bone up on my writing and communication skills because I did not want to address children and whether they have or have not changed through the years and I especially was not referring to toddlers. A cranky baby who needs a nap isn't in the same category as a teenager who purposely is disrespectful to adults and even to other teenagers and who should have some manners by that age. I wanted to discuss manners, courtesy and customs. Maybe the word "tradition" was the wrong choice. Customs is a better word. I simply wish to compare how not so few of us were brought up in the 50's as compared to today. I didn't state that one way was better than the other except that I consider the old ways preferable for me, not better.

[sasvermont]

I have been the one chatting about the children and their lack of manners (and called them brats) and wrote about their bad behavior.

I assume we are allowed to go different directions with this topic without getting dressed down. I feel very comfortable saying that all children are not reared the same way - and some - probably many, grow up to be wonderful adults!

I suspect we learn how to be polite, courteous and kind, yes? And that parents play an immense role in how well children adjust in this society.

Times, they are a changing.

[Cataholic]

I have been the one chatting about the children and their lack of manners (and called them brats) and wrote about their bad behavior.

I assume we are allowed to go different directions with this topic without getting dressed down. I feel very comfortable saying that all children are not reared the same way - and some - probably many, grow up to be wonderful adults!.

You were not alone, I, too, went off on this tangent, as that was how I read the OP. And, I do think I can safely say we are "allowed" to do this.

I agree with Sparks (and not just cause she agreed with me, LOL) that the bad behaviour sticks out way more than the good or "normal" behaviour.

Randi- your comment about not curtsying before the Queen was quite funny! My parents are older than both of you and neither of them has ever given me an indication that bowing/curtsying was common in their day.

[RICHARD]

Is that like the pot calling the Kettles,
Ma and Pa instead of Mr. and Mrs.?

It's a joke, if you are old enought to remember the K's!



MY rule of manners is quite simple.

If I say it, I own it.
I can apologize.

If someone offends me?
Tough, I don't care and laugh.

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I am going to toss this one out because I have come across thousands of boorish woman who complaing about manners.


If I open a door for you or wait until you pass in a narrow hallway or push my shopping cart out of YOUR way, take a second to say "thanks" or even look at me crooked.

Many of you -and NO ONE ON THIS BOARD- stick you noses in the air and walk on by, If a clutch of you walk thru and one says "thanks", the rest of you turn, embarrassed as such, and parrot the words so you aren't left out and we men can appreciate the fact that you are polite, you just had to be reminded....


At times I lean in and whisper, "You are welcome" to remind you that you don't see me there. Some women get the hint and will comment, others won't even bother.

If you do say, "thanks", I'll whisper to you....."that's one rule they haven't changed-YET!"
And we will share a laugh about it.

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I worked with some "royal" people who were pretty rude-some were nurses who would chastise me for opening a door for them. LOL, after that, If I saw them on campus heading for a door, I would make sure to beat them there and flip it closed on them. Rude works both ways and I don't have alot of time for royalty and people who think they deserve my courtesy.

[Cataholic]

Richard, I think I have posted this before, and it goes right in hand with your post. Jonah LOVES to hold the door open for people at his nursery school. (It irritates me, cause it makes me later than I want to be ). You would be amazed at the number of WOMEN- MOTHERS of small children themselves- walk by as if the cannot see a 4 year old holding the door for them. It makes me so flipping angry. The look in his eye sometimes...and, I do not make excuses for them. I tell him, flat out, "they have no manners, Jonah, but, you do and that is great!".

I don't care if they hear or not. And, yes, I realize that is rude of me. You hurt MY feelings, I will deal with it. You hurt my child's feelings, you'll deal with me. Seems fair.

I have held my fair share of doors, elevators, to other women, and they are usually lacking in the 'thank you' department.

[Edwina's Secretary]

I hold the door for ANYONE...male female or unknown -- young or old it really doesn't matter to me..

As the great Betty Freidan said...when a man apologized to her for holding the door..."I would have done the same thing for you if I had gotten there first."

I hold the door for people because it is the polite thing to do...not for the thank you.

(And yes...I am effusive if a young person holds the door for me and thank anyone who does.)