Barney is an Angel Now.

[weluvcats]

I just read your post...My heart breaks for you and for what you are facing this week. Please don't apologize about "going back and forth" with this decision. It is a horrendous place to be.I have been exactly where you are more than once, most recently last June. Your story with your Barney sounds so much like what we went through with our beloved Billy. He had chronic renal failure, and he was at the end and was just skin and bones. The only decision left was 'when'. We were giving him sub-q fluids at home, and I had enough to last him till Tuesday of the week he died, so I scheduled the appt. for Tuesday morning thinking that that would be a logical day, unless something changed. But, that weekend, he went south on us, despite some good moments when he would seem to perk up(bless his precious little heart). Monday morning, he had essentially stopped eating (even his favorite, tuna) or really drinking, and it was obvious he had had enough. I called my husband at work and he came home, and we decided that we couldn't make him wait another day. I called our vet, and we took him in about an hour or so later.
I guess the reason I'm telling you this is that there is no perfect time for this. We had prepared ourselves for Tuesday, but fate intervened, and it became Monday. And you know, it was okay...He had had enough, and Billy, bless his heart, hated the vet. He NEVER in his life purred at the vet-EVER. But, right after he was given the sedative, he looked me right in the eyes(I was sitting right in front of him), and for the first time in the last twelve hours of his life, he really saw me and smiled (you know how cats 'smile' with their eyes?)...I could see it in his eyes, and he started purring, and I told him that we loved him, and God bless him, that is how he left us. I will never forget it as long as I live... It was time.
Lara, I think you just have to ask yourself, "Will tomorrow be better(or worse) than today for Barney, or will it just be more of the same?...Is he really living, or is he just existing?" That is how we made our decision to let Billy go. Maybe, this will help you with your decision. Our hugs and prayers are with you all...
Judy