Sad Update

[Medusa]

No one has said you were an ogre, they were just saying they would not give up their animals, but everyone has acknowledged that they are not in your shoes. Don't take their disagreements as criticism, they are just honest disagreements. Only you know what is right for you!

What Karen said. Your last comment was that you hope no one hates you for giving up your pets. No one hates you, I'm sure, but you obviously knew that some would disagree w/your decision or else you wouldn't have written that. I, as well as others, have said that you must do what's good for you; we just want to be sure that you weren't pressured into anything. Peace.

[Cataholic]

When one makes a public post on a public board, and references the conflicted feelings the OP has, herself, one cannot then stand back in anger and question anyone's true feelings.

Even knowing your situation, as you have now clarified, I still would not give up a single pet of mine. That is MY choice, not yours, as someone else mentioned. I would still caution the heck out of you in doing so, as if you think the trauma you have now is deafening, wait until then...it might get worse. I still believe there must be another alternative. It doesn't make me 'hate' you, or not support your decision...but, simply throwing out there a hearty, "go for it" would be so untrue to you, frankly. Supporting a person or their decision doesn't equate to turning a blind eye towards the outcome. I am sure this is something your counselor addressed with you, though.

[NicoleLJ]

ok got it. Since you guys didn't read the post properly and took it as my therapist ordering me to get rid of my pets and you all asuming I have not looked at all the alternatives then some how I should still keep all five pets as a singe parent on aish with a rent of 1450 and an in come of 1088 and other bills on top of that. You do the math. I have been working on this for months. Angonizing over it. Sometimes there are no choices but one. WOW it is amazing what people can assume about a proffesional domestic violence therapist and when they then realize they made a mistake when they reread the wording they can't even apologize.

I do appreciate the ones that are supporting me. But the ones that jumped the gun so quickly with no real facts, no thanks. If you had questions unanswered, why not pm me? or email me. I would have answered them.

As for the blind eye comment exactly my point. I can't turn a blind eye to the fact that I can't feed 3 large dogs and 2 cats or give them proper vet care. My therapist helped me see that when we went over the budget plan. She showed me I not only could not pay all the bills but I could not put any away on savings either.
Nicole

[Medusa]

ok got it. Since you guys didn't read the post properly and took it as my therapist ordering me to get rid of my pets and you all asuming I have not looked at all the alternatives then some how I should still keep all five pets as a singe parent on aish with a rent of 1450 and an in come of 1088 and other bills on top of that. You do the math. I have been working on this for months. Angonizing over it. Sometimes there are no choices but one. WOW it is amazing what people can assume about a proffesional domestic violence therapist and when they then realize they made a mistake when they reread the wording they can't even apologize.

I do appreciate the ones that are supporting me. But the ones that jumped the gun so quickly with no real facts, no thanks. If you had questions unanswered, why not pm me? or email me. I would have answered them.

As for the blind eye comment exactly my point. I can't turn a blind eye to the fact that I can't feed 3 large dogs and 2 cats or give them proper vet care. My therapist helped me see that when we went over the budget plan. She showed me I not only could not pay all the bills but I could not put any away on savings either.
Nicole

Nicole, this is a pet forum, after all, and people get emotional about animals. If you post about anything, no matter the subject, you can't reasonably expect everyone to agree w/you. That doesn't mean that people hate you or think you're an ogre. It simply means that they disagree w/your decision and since you put it out there for discussion, now you have differing points of view. Stop looking at this as a betrayal and see it for what it is, differences of opinion.

[jennielynn1970]

I agree with what Mary said.

Also I think this... You stated what was going on. You wanted friends to back you up.

Friends will tell you what they think. Friends will tell you if they feel maybe you should seek another alternative.

A friend doesn't just agree with everything you say.

I don't think anyone on here is out to get you or is not "friendly" or isn't looking at what your best interests may be.

They're looking at the situation, telling you what they would do, in that situation, in all honesty. They aren't say YOU have to do it. They're saying maybe you can do this... here is another option.

That, right there, is friendship.

[shepgirl]

I agree with what Mary said.

Also I think this... You stated what was going on. You wanted friends to back you up.

Friends will tell you what they think. Friends will tell you if they feel maybe you should seek another alternative.

A friend doesn't just agree with everything you say.

I don't think anyone on here is out to get you or is not "friendly" or isn't looking at what your best interests may be.

They're looking at the situation, telling you what they would do, in that situation, in all honesty. They aren't say YOU have to do it. They're saying maybe you can do this... here is another option.

That, right there, is friendship.

Very well said jenn.

Nicole you posted in August trying to find a foster home for Luca and you were told by friends that it would be better to rehome him then as older pets are harder to rehome. You got upset with that. 3 months later you are back looking for a home for him. You have to admit that you change your mind so often that it gets hard to follow the drama each time. You needed a home for Luca but went out and bought kittens..now the kittens are too much..etc etc. It's only been 3 mos since you were taking holidays, enjoying yourself and supposed to be moving to Canada, but you say you have been agonizing over the decision for months. It is very hard to know where you're at from one minute to the next.

I just said that as an animal lover and owner I feel my animals are as important as my kids and I would never give them up . Also you said all your therapists approved of the animals, now you say different. Isn't getting rid of the animals teaching kids that pets are a disposable item when the going gets rough?

[NicoleLJ]

Your so right Shep becuase you were there when he beat the living hell out of me in August. I had no idea before we moved that this would all happened. And by the way as you know I have always lived in Canada. You know everything about my life don't you because you don't hve one of your own.

You want to know what I have been doing all morning? hmmmm. My sweet and wonderful husband who was supose to be in jail till tuesday is now out today. He had the police pick up his stuff. First he wanted to come with them. NOT. SO I am dealing with just a TAD bit of stress.

If you love my life so much and know it so well then why don't you come live it for me because right now I am so at the end of my rope you have not idea,

[jennielynn1970]

No one said anything nasty about your therapist. Why would anyone have to apologize about her??

You posted, you got upset when opinions were stated, even when most were nice (I said most), and now you want more drama. Why??


That being said.....

I hope you find a good home for Luka, and for the kitties. I wish you all the luck with getting a place and hopefully landing back on your feet to care for your kids. I don't think anyone would wish you differently.

Just let it rest, unless you want the drama.

[NicoleLJ]

Shep girl Wrote "You're absolutely right Cataholic - no therapist, psychologist or counsellor would ever consider telling someone that. On the contrary, they would encourage you to keep their animals when they brought comfort and stability in someone's life. If I ever took this action I would be as sleepless as you for the rest of my life."

"But meanwhile, no one in a medical profession tells a patient this unless for physical ailments such as rashes , allergies, which a person would be smart enough to know if owning the first animal."



Jenn_Librarian wrote:
"I would never "get rid" of any of my animals based on a therapist or doctor recommendation. And it was recommended. Not happening. I've got a limited income at this point, but I'll deal. But, that being said, is my choice. My choice wouldn't necessarily be your choice or Nicole's choice, or anyone else's choice. Everyone's position is different."



As you have all since realized it was not recomemded. I came to the conclusion myself with the help of my therapist in several sesions. This is why I what an apology. Not drama. Why is asking for an apology for my friend and therapist, which is warrented, considered drama, yet the cruel things that shepgirl has stated all twisted by the way has not been. Interesting.

[NicoleLJ]

What they said about my therapist was not a differing point of opinion. It was not taking the time to read the post properly. I can understand people saying they disagree and they would live on the street rather then give up their pets and all that, That is their opinion. But they were judging someone they did not even know. Along with not knowing all the facts and still not knowing all the facts. THat would take hours and pages. I know this is a pet forum. THis is a pet topic.

I volunteered in rescue for 12-13 years. There are times when people really do have no choice but to rehome their pets. I am not giving mine over to a rescue. I am trying to rehome them myself. It is not like I decided out of the blue I was bored with them. I do not look at my babies that way. I hate the state of affiars my husband has left me in not caring one whit what happens to us. Bad things happen to good people and pets whether we like it or not. Or whether we expect it or not.