I need help....

[shepgirl]

After reading all the posts here I think the worse thing you could do is leave. That would only give the bully more leverage to act even worse. From what you have written, this kid is screaming out for help. Sit down and talk to hubby, make it clear that if he doesn't act on this you will, tell him "NO MORE." This kid will only get worse and is big enough to cause permanent damage to a sibling. It's obvious that the break up of his parents has left emotional scars and he is acting out in anger and frustration. Sit all the kids down and tell them exactly what the rules are and if there is any further abuse from the 15 yr old the police will be called and charges laid, then DO IT.
You are not doing the kids a favor by running away to escape all this. The whole family should be getting counselling to become a real family. If no one wants to go, then go by yourself and reach out for help.
The first step is calling the police and laying charges...the crown will prosecute the boy, might send him to a juvenile center, which is what he and the family needs right now before it becomes irreversible .

[caseysmom]

I don't think this is necessarily a boy or a juvenile.

[carole]

Firstly let me say my heart goes out to you kim, i really feel for you in this difficult situation, you have been given some very sound advice, all i can say is i would also be hesitant involving the police, i have seen it here in different families, and it has not been the best of choices, i agree with Medusa on that one, it is a complete different ball game once they are involved.

I really think you need a professional counsellor to talk with about this problem, i agree your hubby has to get a backbone and take control here, but it is apparent he is not going to do that, i think you would be best to remove yourself from the situation if at all possible, perhaps you might need to give hubby an ultimatium.

Obviously there is a lot more going on than you want to tell us, so it really does sound very out of control, dysfunctional,and something has to be done and soon by the sounds of it,please talk to someone about it that really can help and in the meantime, take care of yourself won't you HUGS.

[catnapper]

I don't think this is necessarily a boy or a juvenile.

Correct. The youngest is 18. All are adults in this house. I won't say if the girl in question is the 18 year old or 20 year old.

[lizbud]

Kim,

If my husband would not make a move to protect me psysically or consider
my emotional needs, I would never consider him my best friend.

Keeping you in my prayers for a peaceful life. You do deserve it.

[joycenalex]

kim, i am praying for you and cameron. please consider packing an escape bag for him, and keeping it in your car. make sure you always know where your keys and shoes are. make sure you have money. make sure at all times you can scoop him and run if he's there. i know what i'm talking about here. if the adult female is this volatile and dangerous, the TWO of you need an planned escape pack and route. also, make sure cams' pediatrician knows whats' up and can document any thing. protect him and yourself. kindest regards

[catnapper]

kim, i am praying for you and cameron. please consider packing an escape bag for him, and keeping it in your car. make sure you always know where your keys and shoes are. make sure you have money. make sure at all times you can scoop him and run if he's there. i know what i'm talking about here. if the adult female is this volatile and dangerous, the TWO of you need an planned escape pack and route. also, make sure cams' pediatrician knows whats' up and can document any thing. protect him and yourself. kindest regards

One big step ahead of you. We also already have (and have used) a safe house for him.

[Grace]

What about a safe place for the cats?

[caseysmom]

Correct. The youngest is 18. All are adults in this house. I won't say if the girl in question is the 18 year old or 20 year old.

You don't have to say....its so sad that one child did seem to turn around for a while...could it be depression from all the new responsibility?

[joycenalex]

grace, you're right, what about the cats? abusers can and do go after the animals.

[Catty1]

Kim, some encouragement for you from Dog House: "The Meanest Mom on the Planet"

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,321239,00.html

'Mean Mom' Sells Son's Car After Misdeed

1 day ago

DES MOINES, Iowa (AP) — Jane Hambleton has dubbed herself the "meanest mom on the planet." After finding alcohol in her son's car, she decided to sell the car and share her 19-year-old's misdeed with everyone — by placing an ad in the local newspaper.

The ad reads: "OLDS 1999 Intrigue. Totally uncool parents who obviously don't love teenage son, selling his car. Only driven for three weeks before snoopy mom who needs to get a life found booze under front seat. $3,700/offer. Call meanest mom on the planet."

Hambleton has heard from people besides interested buyers since recently placing the ad in The Des Moines Register.

The 48-year-old from Fort Dodge says she has fielded more than 70 telephone calls from emergency room technicians, nurses, school counselors and even a Georgia man who wanted to congratulate her.

"The ad cost a fortune, but you know what? I'm telling people what happened here," Hambleton says. "I'm not just gonna put the car for resale when there's nothing wrong with it, except the driver made a dumb decision.

"It's overwhelming the number of calls I've gotten from people saying 'Thank you, it's nice to see a responsible parent.' So far there are no calls from anyone saying, 'You're really strict. You're real overboard, lady.'"

The only critic is her son, who Hambleton says is "very, very unhappy" with the ad and claims the alcohol was left by a passenger.

Hambleton believes her son but has decided mercy isn't the best policy in this case. She says she set two rules when she bought the car at Thanksgiving: No booze, and always keep it locked.

The car has been sold, but Hambleton says she will continue the ad for another week — just for the feedback.

[moosmom]

Kim,

You know I love you and you're one of my best cyberfriends, so when I say this, I mean it wholeheartedly and with good intentions...

Y'ALL NEED TO GO TO A SHRINK!!!

(((((HUGS)))))) to you honey. Call me anytime.

[Pawsitive Thinking]

Correct. The youngest is 18. All are adults in this house. I won't say if the girl in question is the 18 year old or 20 year old.

whoever it is, clearly needs psychiatric help