I need help....

[emily_the_spoiled]

Hello Kim,

I know that everyone here has made some good points, but I am not quite sure you are ready to make the "big" decision to move.

Would it be possible for you to talk with someone? The domestic violence hotline (make no mistake this is domestic violence) should be able to provide a list of people to talk with (usually this is done on a sliding fee scale of some kind).

Cheryl

[Rachel]

Obviously you have no control over the kids or your husband. What you do have control over is your own actions and reactions. It sounds like the living conditions are unacceptable to you. If you fear for your safety - get out now. If you don't, meet with a reputable counselor to help you sort out your options.

[shepgirl]

After reading all the posts here I think the worse thing you could do is leave. That would only give the bully more leverage to act even worse. From what you have written, this kid is screaming out for help. Sit down and talk to hubby, make it clear that if he doesn't act on this you will, tell him "NO MORE." This kid will only get worse and is big enough to cause permanent damage to a sibling. It's obvious that the break up of his parents has left emotional scars and he is acting out in anger and frustration. Sit all the kids down and tell them exactly what the rules are and if there is any further abuse from the 15 yr old the police will be called and charges laid, then DO IT.
You are not doing the kids a favor by running away to escape all this. The whole family should be getting counselling to become a real family. If no one wants to go, then go by yourself and reach out for help.
The first step is calling the police and laying charges...the crown will prosecute the boy, might send him to a juvenile center, which is what he and the family needs right now before it becomes irreversible .

[caseysmom]

I don't think this is necessarily a boy or a juvenile.

[carole]

Firstly let me say my heart goes out to you kim, i really feel for you in this difficult situation, you have been given some very sound advice, all i can say is i would also be hesitant involving the police, i have seen it here in different families, and it has not been the best of choices, i agree with Medusa on that one, it is a complete different ball game once they are involved.

I really think you need a professional counsellor to talk with about this problem, i agree your hubby has to get a backbone and take control here, but it is apparent he is not going to do that, i think you would be best to remove yourself from the situation if at all possible, perhaps you might need to give hubby an ultimatium.

Obviously there is a lot more going on than you want to tell us, so it really does sound very out of control, dysfunctional,and something has to be done and soon by the sounds of it,please talk to someone about it that really can help and in the meantime, take care of yourself won't you HUGS.

[catnapper]

I don't think this is necessarily a boy or a juvenile.

Correct. The youngest is 18. All are adults in this house. I won't say if the girl in question is the 18 year old or 20 year old.

[lizbud]

Kim,

If my husband would not make a move to protect me psysically or consider
my emotional needs, I would never consider him my best friend.

Keeping you in my prayers for a peaceful life. You do deserve it.

[joycenalex]

kim, i am praying for you and cameron. please consider packing an escape bag for him, and keeping it in your car. make sure you always know where your keys and shoes are. make sure you have money. make sure at all times you can scoop him and run if he's there. i know what i'm talking about here. if the adult female is this volatile and dangerous, the TWO of you need an planned escape pack and route. also, make sure cams' pediatrician knows whats' up and can document any thing. protect him and yourself. kindest regards

[caseysmom]

Correct. The youngest is 18. All are adults in this house. I won't say if the girl in question is the 18 year old or 20 year old.

You don't have to say....its so sad that one child did seem to turn around for a while...could it be depression from all the new responsibility?

[joycenalex]

grace, you're right, what about the cats? abusers can and do go after the animals.

[Pawsitive Thinking]

Correct. The youngest is 18. All are adults in this house. I won't say if the girl in question is the 18 year old or 20 year old.

whoever it is, clearly needs psychiatric help