vela, I can feel you, parental damage - it took me a while to deal with this trauma. it's normal to feel that way afterall I didn't had parents, but it's better than living with a drunk father every night. safer and stronger. like I am today. that all will be up to the child later as well too.

I didn't had a mother.. I didn't had a father.. 16 years out of 20 and I don't care for them anymore now. why? if you ask because they never were my 'parents' like they were suppose to be. plus, because of the 'mother' and 'father' who I had taught me love. it's all about love and respect, not biography, violence or money. racing girl, it could be this, your new boyfriend who wants to be a father - not having the same DNA does not necessarily means the child is or will be disorder in any way, emotional, finanically or mental.

the day the child realizes that all adults are imperfect, he becomes
an adolescent; the day he forgives them, he becomes an adult; the day he forgives himself, he becomes wise.

that being said, and if the child in a later age doesn't understand that it was best s/he grows/grew up without a biography father, and with racing girl's love shown here, s/he will have the help s/he needs. on other hand, it also really depends on adoptive parents as well. and by the way, I don't think racing girl is shutting him out completely, just holding the door for now for how he's around his six year old daughter still.

marigold, I can agree with you on some of parts but I am not sure why you think those mothers are like her..

racing girl, I applaud you on this decision, and safety of the newborn baby - I would do the same, definitely. I am sorry he acts like this at stake and hopefully he will be father enough soon so the child even can have a better life. and a lot stress off you too. stay on strong and safe.. wishing all best for you and the baby. how is that exciting?? do you know the gender or desire name yet?

obviously, I'm not the mother yet so I don't know what month they can tell you the sex.