Oh my Marigold, you say you're not bitter but you sure sound it!

My mom will sing to the heavens that she was thrilled to be knocked up at 19. Her children are what makes her life worthwhile and complete. Are you going to say my mom is missing out on something greater because of that? Are you suggesting I am a lacking person because we didn't always have 3-course meals growing up? Or that we had a true clunker of a car? Or that we were just seconds from the city with its gangs and drugs? I played outside. I thought it was SO COOL to get free food with our food stamps... I had no idea it was something to be ashamed of. I remember my childhood as being perfect. It was far from perfect but mom and grandmom made me feel so safe and loved that I never noticed the imperfections outside my front door.

If my mom stayed with my father, we would have had a "wealthy" life. Instead she packed her bags and returned home with my grandmom and all 4 of us lived together helping each other out, much like I'm not doing for my own daughter. Is it hard? you bet! Is it worth it? A million times over. That little boy is such a pleasure and joy I can't describe it. and I am determined to show him the same level of love and acceptance I had. He doesn't need to know we have gangs a block away. We'll hide all the unpleasantries from him and make sure he only knows what love is and how safe he feels inside our family.

My husband teaches in an inner city school. Most of them are 10 times poorer than we are, yet they all are beautifully cared for. They all get better food than my kids do because of free lunches and food stamps. They all get better healthcare (including those precious braces!) because they are all on state health insurance. Finances don't determine whether you're fit to be a parent.... if family can't step up to help raise a child, then the state will. There's no sin in accepting help.

I feel sorry for the women who think its some perverse form of pride to refuse help. Thats what its there for! Whether the help comes from a family member, friend, the father, or state aid, its help and a child needs it. The only sin of accepting help is to become complacent and not move forward to better your situation for yourself and your child. Its not impossible to go to school, work, and raise a child all at the same time. Its HARD and stressful, but the payoff in a few years will blow your mind.