"Maybe you should think twice about having children."

[Twisterdog]

My husband and I were just talking about this the other night, after watching that show "Little People, Big World."

First of all, that was not a very polite thing of your mother in law to say, if she said it out of the blue. If you two are close, and were already having a serious conversation on the topic, then I could see the subject coming up. But just to spout that off out of nowhere, that's in very bad taste.

Secondly, I don't know enough about the genetics of autism to comment on that disease specifically. My great-nephew has autism and has suffered SO much in life. But no one else in the family has it.

I, personally, would not choose to have children if I knew I carried a gene for a disease that could be passed on to them. I'm not talking about some minor thing, but a serious disease. I would not intentionally inflict that on another human being, especially my own child.

What I have always been appalled by is parents who continue to have more and more children knowing there is a good chance they will have a disease, after their first child is born with it and they have genetic testing done. And these people always seem to rate television programs talking about their 3 out of 4 children born with whatever genetic disease. I just don't see how anyone could possibly do that ... look at this little, innocent child suffering, going to die an early death, terribly ill for all of its childhood ... and think, "Oh, honey, let's have four more kids. Odds are only three of them will have it." OMG. I just don't get it. Of course, they don't know until the first child is born that they carry the genes. That's a sad fact of life. But to intentionally put other human beings through hell, knowing they stand a very good chance of having the disease and consciously choosing it anyway? That's so incredibly wrong to me. If they want more kids, adopt.

[timlewis]

I have 2 children when my wife was pregnant the 2nd time they run tests and told us it might have some kind of disease. They wanted to send her to another hospoital to have blood took from her cord to see if Emma had this disease, im not sure what it was some of you all probably know what they check the cord for. Anyway we decided she should not go because no matter what she was still our baby and we would love her just as much. So i myself dont think it would matter even if your baby has autism you will love the child the same, and as the mother you may be closer to him or her because youu will be giving more attention raising the child. And I also believe that GOD will give you whatever he sees fit for you and your husband. And Emma is fine she is a healthy mean little girl lol.

[carole]

Ok well at about 19 when i was single i was told the news that we have a hereditary disease in our family Huntingdons Chorea, at that time it did not mean too much to me and as i was not looking at marriage or having children i gave it not much thought.

Now as you all know i have two children, for those who do not know much about the disease, it is one that can be passed on and does not usually hit until say mid fifties and onwards,it is not a very pleasant one and yes eventually leads to death,I and all my cousins decided to have children because one there is a good chance if my mother does not get this disease then i will not and neither will my children, so far my mother does not have it and is in her seventies, it is looking good but we can only live in hope, there is also a chance of a cure before my children reach this age, and that is why i chose to have children, because one they may not even get it and two a cure could be available by then,i also figured the chances of getting cancer are probably higher,some may see this as the wrong choice , but i certainly do not and do not regret having had my scott and Melissa.

I also have known people with children with cystic fibrosis,infact my ex husbands sister had a son with it,having a second child would not be a good idea in this case, as they too would have it, is that correct?

I think it really is up to the individuals to make the decision, having autism etc in the family certainly would not stop me having a child,as long as you are willing to take on the responsibility of that child, it is no ones business but your own IMO.

[Glacier]

I also have known people with children with cystic fibrosis,infact my ex husbands sister had a son with it,having a second child would not be a good idea in this case, as they too would have it, is that correct?

Not quite. There is a one in four chance that the child of two CF carriers would be born with the disease. Both parents must be carriers for any of their offspring to get CF. However, unaffected children would be carriers and potentially pass the disease on to their children, if they had kids with another carrier. The vast majority of people have no idea if they are carriers of CF or most other genetic diseases. (My sister was misdiagnosed with CF many years ago)

My brother suffers from Hemachromatosis, the most common genetic disease among caucasions. He is the only affected person on any side of his family(we have different mothers so he has some different relatives than I do). His specialist says the disease has been in our family somewhere for generations, but it requires specific triggers to activate it. Big bro' just happened to do the things that set it off. He had three kids by the time he was diagnosed.

If everyone decided not to have kids because of some genetic possiblity, no one would have them! Every family has a diabetic, an alcoholic, a cancer patient, ect, ect, ect......

[cyber-sibes]

Well that was certainly rude of her. It's really none of her business if you have kids. We don't get to "place an order" for a perfectly healthy child, but we can & do have perfect love for that child, regardless of any problems. Life is about making the lives of those we care about better, not perfect.

Everyone has a purpose here. Children with disabilities inspire love, compassion, hope, and admiration among those who know them. (family, friends, doctors, teachers, neighbors) Yes, there are challenges, but that's just part of being a parent, period.

I want to tell you about my friend, Brian. My dear friend Brian has Down Syndrome. He is one of the most genuine people I know, and I am so grateful for his friendship. He is sure to get us all smiling with his enthusiasm and determination, his wonderful sense of humor, and thoughtfulness.When he was born, his mother was told she should put him away in a home for the severely disabled. She refused and educated him herself. He can read & write. He's almost 40 years old. She is gone now, and he has lived for many years in a group home. Knowing him changed my views about what having a "disability" means. It means having "different abilities".
I wish you & your husband the best, don't pay no mind to what other people say.