Which last name?

[Karen]

Use her name. As they are not married, and have no plans to be right now, the baby is primarily her responsibility. If, at some point, they do decide to get married, Ashley's maiden name can become the child's middle name, perhas, and both Ashley and baby can change their names at the time of the marriage. But as they are both young, and so much of the future is up in the air, I'd go with her last name, and if that upsets the father, well, he can "make it right" when he marries Ashley some day if they choose to do so. If they were bth ten years older than they are now, my opinion might be different, but the situation would be quite different as well.

If, despite his current stated intentions, he ends up having little or no presence in this child's life, trying to explain how her child got his/her last name might be a burden for Ashley, and a source of resentment in the future. If the child and father remain close, the child can choose to adopt the father's last name later, I know of a girl who did the opposite, after her parents went through a horrific, accusatory and bitter divorce, she took her mother's maiden name as her last name, and her mother reverted to her maiden name as well.

The baby having a different last name than its mom causes unfortunate questions and confusion which some people are now used to, but others are not.

[caseysmom]

I say give the baby her name, I think this would be wonderful for your husband since he has two daughters, I mean sort of an advantage for him having a daughter giving birth out of wedlock and look how much her father has been through, he raised them not their mother, how many men do that:?

His name will be passed on, I say pooey on the baby's father....what has he really contributed...sorry but thats how I feel.

[Ally Cat's Mommy]

I think Karen said it best (as usual )

I would recommend that the baby has Ashleys surname because:

- easier from an admin / medical / schooling perspective

- if dad ends up not being very involved, then there will be less reason to have to explain why she and the baby have different surnames (Personal experience - I was Cameron's "Mum" from when he was three years old, but was sick to death of having to explain to people why our surnames were different - it's almost like it gives admin / school / medical people an excuse to be nosey)

- it can always be changed to dad's name later if they do marry

[Lori Jordan]

I feel as if the couple are married then the baby should go by the fathers name,If the couple is together but not married the name should be both which can be changed in any point of time,If the couple is not together i think the baby should have the moms name for sure..jmo

[catnapper]

I feel as if the couple are married then the baby should go by the fathers name,If the couple is together but not married the name should be both which can be changed in any point of time,If the couple is not together i think the baby should have the moms name for sure..jmo

Seriously, the names are HORRENDOUS together. No way could we ever do that to a child! Hyhenation is out of the question! Not to post our last names, but it'll sound similar to Smiles-Dudjig (or Dudjig-Smiles) Truly awful!

[shais_mom]

I have a couple of friends who have been in Ashley's boat and they have given their child (both boys) their last name. In each case they came from a family with 3 girls so no one was going to carry on their dad's bloodline, so they chose their last name. And they - who have no relationship with the dad of the child either- stand behind their decision and have no regrets.
One of my friends is the only adopted daughter of her parents - they had 2 biological daughters after they adopted her when they were told they couldn't get pregnant I think that is the best gift of all to give her child HER last name in a case like that.
That said I understand that Ashley's situation is different b/c she has brothers.

[catnapper]

Karen, you are so eloquent! Ash said that makes for a logical and reasonable answer.... would you care come and give the father that speach if thats what she eventually decides?

Julie, Ash's choices for boy names and Cameron and Connor! Since you have the same taste, what girl names can you offer?

[Karen]

Karen, you are so eloquent! Ash said that makes for a logical and reasonable answer.... would you care come and give the father that speach if thats what she eventually decides?

Absolutely - tell me when and where, and I'll be there if need be!

(And I can be realllllyyy scary/intimidating if I need to be, which hopefully no Pet Talk person will ever, ever need to see!)

[Ally Cat's Mommy]

KJulie, Ash's choices for boy names and Cameron and Connor! Since you have the same taste, what girl names can you offer?

LOL Kim - I actually thought that when I read the post where you said you liked Connor as a boys name - I LOVE it!

Although I love my darling daughter's name - Calista Shannon - it was not my first choice - rather it was the only name on both MY list and Warren's list which we both loved.

My choices were:

Keira Jade
and
Raewyn Jade

(BOTH of which sound awesome with your surname IMHO )

I also LOVE Caitlyn but:
- it is becoming a bit "over used" and
- I already have a step-daughter called Caitlynn, so it was not an option!

[carole]

I also love the name caitlynn, but spelt katelynn, I agree with the majority here, give the baby Ashley's surname.