I wish you could all call all my doctors and give them hell...to the day they die...hopefully, painfully of Crohn's.

I'm sorry, I know that's not right or who I am. I'm so freaking upset.

I called my IBD Specialist at Cedars at 7:45 this morning. Left a message with their answering service.

Got called back at 8:15 by the receptionist and told her my tale, crying the entire time. She sounded like she actually cared. Told me he'd be in between 9 and 10 and he'd call me.

I called themw hen I got home to tell him he could call my home phone.

I just got home from my new job physical/HR stuff and called his office (at 4:15 on a FRIDAY!!). They said, "He's been given your messages." I asked if he'd be calling today, that I just got out of the hospital and its REALLY, REALLY important. My voice cracked and the tears came again. She said, "I have no way of knowing that." I said, "OK, I REALLY, REALLY need him to call me back. Its VERY important and its 45 minutes till the weekend starts and I can't wait for the weekend. *cries some more* The girl is apparently unmoved and says she'll pass along my message.

Well, after crying for the past 35 minutes..and calling my Internist's office (who is out today, but oncall tomorrow), I'm going to file a complaint both with Cedars Sinai and with the Federal/State Medical Board. I remember in my last Crohn's Support meeting, there was a girl who had the same experience. She was sarcastic and harsh, so I just figured it was due to attitude and her exageration. I guess I was wrong.

I called and left a message for the coordinator (for the support groups) tellng her I'd lke to get in touch with that girl to see if she'd like to join me in my complaints.

I'll live through the night and call my internist and explain what's happened since I spoke with him last night.

I'm at an all time LOW. I hate my life....I'm having HUGE issues with God (please don't talk me out of this...unless your life is currently being ruined) I can only take so much. That quote he'll only give you what you can take?? Uh huh...yea. Is the goal total insanity??? Cause I'm almost there.