I used to be more like you Audrey, and find myself trusting people too easily, opening up and feeling that even though they were saying a lot of bad things about other people, they weren't doing the same to me. Unforunately, it often isn't the case, and like you have been deeply hurt and humiliated when I learned they were doing the exact same thing to me. . Nowdays, and I'm sure you are feeling the same now, alarm bells go off in my head when someone is talking to me and they seem like they don't have a good word to say about anyone, and if they seem to relish badmouthing the same people they act friendly towards to their face. Some people simply enjoy being two-faced, it gives them a feeling of power and/or superiority.

It is so very hurtful when you find out you've been betrayed and backstabbed, and it really does damage your ability to trust and be open with people. Sadly, I guess it's better to be more cautious until you are more sure you know someone, but at some point you have to let your guard down and trust people or you end up holding things in so much that it damages you. I would just do my best to stick around positive people who don't seem to spend a lot of time criticizing and judging others. I'd steer clear of those types, because more than likely when you aren't around they are doing the same thing to you. I have a particular member in my family who does that and it still really irks me because I know they sit around and criticize me when I'm not there because that is all they do about other family members when I AM around. Suffice it to say I do not share any personal feelings with this person.

I am very sorry you were hurt. I think there are people out there in need of a good friend, who would be very fortunate to have you as a friend. You seem like a very trustworthy and caring person, and it's just a matter of finding people who can appreciate that and who can return it. Don't give up hope