I actually believe that the younger the children are when they are exposed to their mother's condition, the easier it is going to be for them. Young kids take everything is stride, provided it is handled well by the adults. If they meet her now, she will just be mom to them as they grow up. They longer everyone waits the harder it is going to be on them.

As for child support ... I don't know. If the dad is making a good living, and it is going to take all of the settlement money to care for the mom, then I think he should let it alone. However, if her parents are milking any of that money for themselves, and he is an average working-class guy with three kids to care for, I can certainly see where is would be wanting that money for his kids, not his wife's parents. Too little info to make an educated call.