Just wanted you to know you are indeed among friends here, and we are always here to listen and help anyway we can, I won't even say i know how you are feeling because i don't but i can only imagine your heartache, and feel for you so much, I hope that in time you may beable to adopt,maybe it is not right for you at the moment, but in time it will be, I know nothing we say can will heal your heart right now, but I hope it will bring you some comfort in knowing we all care and are here for you anytime. HUGS.