Awww, Audrey, don't be so hard on yourself, anyone would be upset and you are not a BAD owner!
Well,at least the reply you got back was civil. I think she's (he's?) trying to help you see what you need to do, if you want to succeed with this flyball group. It just sounds like not everyone in the group is tolerant of your inexperience, but you're correct in thinking that these things should have been explained to you long ago. Doesn't sound like much fun, though, for you or Zeke right now. So it sounds like you will either have to decide to do whatever it takes to be on top of Zeke every second you're there until he understands what's acceptable and not, or find something where the people are less competitive, that will be a whole lot more fun. Can't find anything around? Hmmm, I've seen people on animal planet that "dance" with their dogs- it looks like a blast! And maybe setting up an agility course on your own would be fun, no fancy equipment, but lots of imagination & creativity. keep your chin up.
BTW- I've been looking at your handome Zeke everyday on the Pettalk calander & thinking of you. He's got such personality! I hope you can find something better than this lousy situation.
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