There just aren't any adequate words to place a value on the friendship and outpouring of caring and support I have received from many of you. Honestly, I am not sure where I'd be at without the strength some of you have helped me to find. It's still very difficult for me to share a lot about what is going on, but I also think it is probably pretty obvious that it has to do with my marriage. I still can't go a lot into the very personal aspects of it, I've never had the ability to easily pour my heart out in a public setting when it comes to personal pains. Suffice it to say, I've been blinding myself to some things, and things have been held back on both our parts due to wanting to avoid the pain that's going on.

I know many will wonder about something in particular, so I will say it straight out, there has been no affair involved in this. As of today, we're in a talking phase, now that I've managed to get more of a grip and find the ability to stay calm (at least around him). But I'm frightened, crushed, and hurt beyond the scope of any words to describe. I'm scared to death, of just everything right now. I know some of you have experienced various things of a similar nature, and have an idea of what it's like. It's the initial shock that scars you.. when you think things are good, and learn they aren't. A shock like that is something stays in your heart forever, even after things have resolved in whatever way they will.

Please just keep me in your thoughts and prayers. I'm so emotionally vulnerable right now, but I'm getting all the help I can. Thank you. Thank God for people like you out there.

Jess