Laura, I am very sorry that you feel there is a distance between you and your mother. I have a strong feeling that she either already knows or highly suspects it. Moms have a way of "knowing without knowing".

I have to agree that keeping secrets will only eat you up inside, plus there will always be the constant strain of not letting it show ... or slipping up and saying something that would give it away .... you know what I mean? However, I would definitely NOT wait until she comes for her visit to tell her ... that would put her in a very uncomfortable situation. Why don't you either call her, or write her ... sometime before your planned visit?

As a parent of two daughters myself, there are many things that I have discovered about my oldest .... her pregnancy of course, was a "biggie" ... that while they may not have been what I would have wished for her, I still love her and stood by her side.
One of the hardest things for a parent to do, is to let loose of trying to protect our children. We have to let them go when they are of age ... and watch them choose their own paths ... the key I am learning, is to place them in God's hands. Pray for them, continue to LOVE them and turn them loose!

Laura, I pray for you and your family, that you all can work through this and come out closer in the end. Even if Mom freaks out for a while ... I do believe in time she will grow to accept you for who you are, and even if she doesn't accept things, she will always love you.

(((HUGS)))
Kim