I fully understand and you have my utmost empathy, been there , done that, it is a very hard time for a mother, I actually believe you need a grieving period to go through, because it is just like a loss, many here will remember when my son left for England, I missed him so much, and he had lived away from home before, but never been overseas and so far away, across the other side of the world, it took me sometime to come to terms with it, but with the love and support of my PT friends and some phone calls from my son, I got through it all.(oh and he did come back after four months)

I am dreading when my younger one leaves , she is only 12 so it is a while off, but when the last baby leaves the nest , it is going to be very hard, being a mother is all I really know.

BIG HUGS to you, and remember it will feel better soon, once you see their independence and that they are happy, you too will feel that way as well, just give it a little time and grieve if you have to
nothing wrong with that.