Anyone spare a hug?

[kimlovescats]

(((((((HUGS)))))))) Kim! It sounds like you have the same creeping crud that I've had a week already and still can't get cleared up. I may have to break down and go to the doctor next week.

Things are always harder to take when you aren't feeling well. Try to remember that brothers (aka men) aren't as understanding about some things!

More Hugs,
Kim

[Laura's Babies]

Some Dr. Phil reality here....

WHY do you even allow him to talk to you like that? The minute he starts to lay the guilt on you or cut you down.... tell him you don't have time for that kind of shi*, life is to short so go spread his doom and gloom somewhere else! Then politely say "GOODBYE" and hang up!... That is unless you NEED to have someone make you feel like crud and just need a reason to cry....

Your brother? SO WHAT! Who needs someone who can make you feel that way no matter what relation he is to you? The worst he can do is stop talking to you and sounds like that would be a blessing.

I say all this because I use to date a guy like him and found his cut downs amusing, his critizem of my friends was downright funny and his attempts to drag my happy mood down to his sourness was a game to me. It use to drive him nuts that no matter what he said to ruin my day, I was so darn cheerful and kept telling him how much HE had to be thankful for and what a simply beautiful day I was having... I dated him until I got bored of his little game of "doom and gloom", then I dumped him.

Your brother sounds as toxic as the guy I use to date, I got rid of that guy.... It's your life and your brother... Do you need him that bad?

(Take this as I mean it... I am not trying to be mean or hateful or bust up a happy family... I just don't understand why you put up with this... )

[moosmom]

Kim,

(((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))

I just got home from work and thought I'd pop in.

Your brother and my brother must be related. Up until recently, the only way my brother and I could communicate was through emails, as he would always yell at me over the phone like I was a kid. He's only 5 years older than I am. It wasn't until I called him from the hospital, did he realize how serious my situation was, and that I wasn't the screw up he made me out to be all these years. I was seriously ill.

The minute he started raising his voice, Kim, I would've hung up on your brother if I were you. I simply would have told him that I would talk to him at another time when he was more civil.

I'm really sorry he made you feel so bad, and I only wish I was home so you could've called me. Remember one thing, God created good friends to apologize for bad relatives.

It's okay to love your brother but not like him very much. Believe me, I've been through it. Do NOT feel guilty, you've done nothing wrong. Your brother had no right to treat you like a verbal punching bag.

Hang in there and call me if you feel like it. I'll keep my cellphone on.

Love ya!

Donna

[jazzcat]

Big Ole ((((((hug))))))!!!!!

[K9karen]

Aw, Kimmy, I'm so sorry that you're feeling so down.
There are times when I actually LET my brother upset me. I have to stop myself from starting to cry from what I deem HIS cruel, angry, nasty remarks and behavior. (Long story). We were also raised the same, equally loved and fairly. But, ya know, people develop their own personalities. If they're not willing to adapt a bit, that's their problem. I am SO getting better. I'm a grown adult. If I don't take crap from strangers, I'm sure as he** NOT going to take any from him. You need to calmly tell your brother you don't appreciate his caustic, nasty, insensitive remarks and unless he's willing to treat you with the respect you deserve, don't call. It'll be his loss.

Lots of hugs to you. my friend. Don't permit him to ruin your day. We all know how wonderful and sweet you are. Remember, it's OK to treat yourself as #1. Lord knows I'm trying! xoxox

[krazyaboutkatz]

Kim, I'm so sorry to hear that your brother gets you down. My parents are usually the same way when it comes to certain things in my life so I've learned not to ask them for their advice or opinions and I just do what I want to do and then tell them about it later and sometimes I don't even do this. They still don't even know about Ziggy Stardust yet. Lots of hugs are being sent your way. (((((HUGS)))))

[Pawsitive Thinking]

Go here for as many hugs as you want

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vr3x_RRJdd4

[davidpizzica]

Kim, here's a lot of {{{{HUGS}}}}!! I know exactly what you're going through. I have a big brother who thinks he's my mother! He loves to come into the house and say "You haven't swept the floor today" or "the grass needs mowed" and other comments. Kim, if you can use someone to talk to in a brotherly way, all you have to do is PM me. I'll be there.

[catnapper]

Thanks so much guys!

{{{{{{Group Hug}}}}}}

The funny thing is that this was my younger brother! He's always been serious and I've always been the dreamer so he's always felt he knows better than I do. I told him that. I told him a lot of things last night and stood up for myself. I nearly hung up on him a few times, and if it wasn't for me wanting to offer a rebuttal I would have hung up. I do think we cleared the air a bit. Perhaps this will be the beginning of something new for us? Who knows.

I think me getting so upset was partly from me feeling so run down and sick (I am losing my voice now.... whoopie! I don't know how I'm going to train dogs tonight) I know what I'm in for with this bug because hubby's had it for two weeks - big brave macho man actually went to the doctor for it. I commented to my mom on Sunday how I'm surprised I wasn't sick when everyone else at home was. Great idea Kim, open your mouth and jinx yourself!

The other part was all the stress. I am just at the end of my rope, grasping on to save my sanity and he calls to lay one hefty guilt trip on me. Don't I have enough going on right now with health, finances, the baby, work?

After I bawled to him about everything thats going on (he complained I don't talk to him, so I sarcastically told him everything thats going on) he's actually coming up next Sunday (or so he promised) to help repair our bathroom. He swears we can have a new tub and subfloor for under $500. He'll do all the labor. Do you know how much that would make my day? Seriously, I can't even relax to take a shower for fear I'll be in the tub when it falls through the ceiling. The estimate my SIL's hubby gave was for $5,000. Little difference in cost, eh?

Well, I do feel better after a night's sleep with 5 kitties keeping me warm and Abby giving me a purr serenade.

[Sara luvs her Tinky]

Not sure if you still need them but {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUG}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}


I have about the same relationship with my dad... and it really stinks too. It keeps me from being able to get close to him...

That video made me smile.. and made me want a big hug!!

[mugsy]

((((((((((Kim))))))))))

Now, I am speaking from experience here, but, you are LETTING him get to you and manipulate you. You need to put yourself in the frame of mind that he is NOT going to make you feel guilty. Put it right back in his lap...when he tries to guilt you by saying you didn't ask about his kids, respond by asking him when he is going to come and see Cameron. Things like that. He seems to be preying on your sensitivity. I have worked really hard over the last few months getting myself to the point where I am beginning to say, I can do what I can do and that's it and if you aren't satisfied go somewhere else...without feeling guilty. It is REALLY hard and it won't happen overnight, but, if you start working on it then eventually he will stop because he knows it doesn't work. He only does it now because he knows that he can make you feel badly...like a bully. My sister does the same thing to me and I finally had enough and told her if she thinks she's going to guilt me into doing something, to think again. I am done being pushed around by you because I'm not going to let you do it anymore. She backed off...If you ever need to "talk" PM me and we can "chat." Good luck and don't let him get to you!

cyber hugs and I hope you feel better soon! Get yourself some menthol and rub it between your hands and cup your hands over your mouth and nose and breath deeply...it should help clear you up!

[borzoimom]

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>
Sometimes with siblings you can have a brief falling out. I did the same with my younger brother for a while. What I did was chat, but when you feel the conversation turning, say poliet something like " ohhh shoot- I have get the clothes in the dryer, take the dog out, start dinner, make breakfast for the dogs or yourself, or get firewood, answer the door- shut the doors.. " .. you get the point. Soon it will start to change, and polietly tells him you dont have time for such nonscense.

[ramanth]

You can pick your friends but you can't pick family.

*HUGS*

[cyber-sibes]

You can pick your friends but you can't pick family.

Amen to that! After living 500 miles away for 8 years, I moved back 3 1/2 years ago to within 70 miles of my brother. Every time I call and say I'm going to be in the neighborhood, "they have plans". I've invited them over, offered to meet up somewhere, and hinted that I would like to be invited over to their place. I've seen him.....once. I give up.
((((hugs)))) to you, and if he comes over to help you out, I hope it goes ok.

[borzoimom]

Amen to that sister. ...