I'm irked.

[Tonya]

As usual. Sorry this is a pointless rant, but I am so irritated right now. After Jaden, I decided that I would never breast feed again. It was horribly painful for me and it didn't help with my post partum depression at all. Breastfeeding was the most painful experience ever in my life.

I am not an idiot, I fully understand the pluses and minuses that come with breastfeeding. I have had a whole 7 years to think out this decision. I told my doctor from the start that I'm not breastfeeding this baby and she fully understands.

So many people are butting their noses in my business! Why should I have to stand there and talk about my breasts to people? Why does everyone including strangers think it's their duty to convert me?!

Mike's best friend's wife just recently had their first child. She's breastfeeding and not having a problem, which is wonderful. I am happy for her. Well, his friend will not let it go! Steve keeps telling Mike all about how he has to make me breastfeed because otherwise my kid is going to be sickly, we won't bond, blah blah blah. He's a freaking man! If he thinks it's so important, maybe he should breast feed my child.

How dare people who have never even breast fed before tell me that I am horrible for not breastfeeding. I am so sick of getting backed into corners and having to explain myself. Why should I have to explain my prior breastfeeding experience to everyone?! I am an adult that is fully capable of making decisions. They talk to me like I've never heard of breastfeeding before.

[Glacier]

I'm always amazed at the things people will say to pregnant women! They'd never say anything similar under other circumstances.

I'm sure you know what will work best for you and your baby. As for the not bonding crap... I think we are close to the same age--when I was born, women were encouraged not to breast feed. I wasn't a breastfed baby and my mom and I bonded just fine! 30 odd years later we still have a great relationship!

[Tonya]

Originally posted by Glacier
I'm always amazed at the things people will say to pregnant women! They'd never say anything similar under other circumstances.

I'm sure you know what will work best for you and your baby. As for the not bonding crap... I think we are close to the same age--when I was born, women were encouraged not to breast feed. I wasn't a breastfed baby and my mom and I bonded just fine! 30 odd years later we still have a great relationship!

Yeah, I told my husband that if my child doesn't bond with me, then we have some major issues aside from breastfeeding!

People also often ask me "Was it planned?" I am tempted to say "No, it was a total mistake. In fact, we're not even sure who the father is."

[Samantha Puppy]

Use hormones as an excuse and go postal on people when they bring it up.

I'm not pregnant, but I've already decided that when I am and have my baby, I will not breastfeed. I wasn't breastfed and I turned out just fine. So don't feel bad - it doesn't make us bad people. Stand your ground and don't feel that you need to explain yourself to anyone.

[carole]

Tonya I was not a breast feed child either, and my son I was only able to feed for about 2mths, the plunket nurse here advised me to introduce supplements and then fully put him on the bottle,as he was one hungry baby.

However Ten years later I successfully breastfeed my daughter for 16 mths, I never imagined I would beable to do it for so long.

It sure as heck can be very painful, in the beginning as mine was with both, but it came right and then it was fine.

It is wonderful if you are able to Breastfeed, but not everyone can, and no-one has the right to tell you what to do, I think I came through pretty ok as did many other babies not breastfeed.

You do what you are comfortable with,and don't listen to those people who think they know best.

P.S They say it helps with protection against Breast Cancer, I am hoping that is true, and I know you have it in your family as well, so that is one plus I guess.

[Katiesmom]

I didn't breastfeed my child and he doesn't get sick(knock on wood) he only goes to the doctor for check ups and hes 3 and far as the bonding part goes well we bonded just fine, no problem there... I know how ya feel tho some people think they just know it all and for a man to say something like that well how does he think the child and the father bond since the man doesn't breastfeed? but try not to let it bother you. You are the only one that knows whats best for you and your child

[GraciesMommy]

I can't believe people even stick their noses into your business like that! I didn't breast feed..my son is now 24...I wasn't breastfed...I know it is good if you are able to, and cheap! I just didn't want to.. But its your decision, and your breasts and everyone needs to keep their opinions to themselves! I don't blame ya one bit for getting irked!

[carole]

people seem to make such a big deal about Breast-feeding, IMO if you can do it great, if not, so what, baby will grow up healthy all the same.

And its no-one else's business except your's.

[robinh]

I am also amazed by what people will ask a pregnant woman. I agree with everyone here. You do what you are comfortable with. It doesn't matter what anyone else wants - it's you with the baby when they go home.

I didn't breastfeed my son (he's 29) and he's the healthiest person I know. Doctors were amazed he healed so quickly from all the cuts and scrapes he got as a child.

[christa]

I've always heard that it's different for different people. Some people just can't do it, end of discussion!

I haven't had a baby, yet, so I have no opinion as to "how it is" but I do know that MY MOM DID NOT breast feed me and we were super close all throughout my childhood and even more so today! I'm 23 and I know some of you will think I'm a dork for saying this, but I consider her my best friend (not counting my husband of course).

Don't worry about it . . . some people just assume themselves into our lives without any reason. It's really no one's business and I really don't think that it will affect your child that much.

I turned out OK.

[lovemyshiba]

I have to echo what someone said upthread--people will ask a pregnant woman anything!!!! It's unreal.

2 girls I work with just had babies--one September 27, and one this past Sunday--neither of them are breastfeeding, and it never even crossed my mind to even ask them why, or try to convince them to.

I guess people will always continue to be nosy, and rude, and you just have to do what you can.

[Twisterdog]

Tonya,

I can so sympathise with you. I felt completely pressured into breastfeeding when my son was born ... maybe "brainwashed" would be a better word for it then "pressured". The doctors and nurses stopped just a little short of telling me I would basically be dooming my child for life and would be the most horrible mother in the world if I did not breastfeed. I was twenty-three, single and pregnant with my first child ... what did I know?

So I tried it ... for a month. It was sheer hell. He was basically starving, and neither one of us ever got any sleep. Finally, after four weeks I could NOT take it any more, and gave him a bottle. He drank the whole thing, and slept through the night. I was almost hysterical with relief, rage and resentment.

Not a single person ever told me that it was ok to stop breastfeeding if it isn't working. Everyone pretty much blamed me, implying I was stupid or doing something wrong, and everyone just kept smiling indulgently and told me to "keep trying." Had I just refused in the first place, or quit after a few days, the first month of my son's life would have been SO MUCH better ... for both of us.

[Tonya]

Originally posted by Twisterdog
Tonya,

I can so sympathise with you. I felt completely pressured into breastfeeding when my son was born ... maybe "brainwashed" would be a better word for it then "pressured". The doctors and nurses stopped just a little short of telling me I would basically be dooming my child for life and would be the most horrible mother in the world if I did not breastfeed. I was twenty-three, single and pregnant with my first child ... what did I know?

So I tried it ... for a month. It was sheer hell. He was basically starving, and neither one of us ever got any sleep. Finally, after four weeks I could NOT take it any more, and gave him a bottle. He drank the whole thing, and slept through the night. I was almost hysterical with relief, rage and resentment.

Not a single person ever told me that it was ok to stop breastfeeding if it isn't working. Everyone pretty much blamed me, implying I was stupid or doing something wrong, and everyone just kept smiling indulgently and told me to "keep trying." Had I just refused in the first place, or quit after a few days, the first month of my son's life would have been SO MUCH better ... for both of us.

Exactly. Your experience sounds like my first one. Jaden was 10 1/2 lbs when he was born, so he was a BIG eater. We were both miserable. I hurt so much. I resented him because I felt so lousy. He slept all night as soon as I gave him a bottle.

Luckily, my current doctor isn't pressuring me at all.

[Kiia]

Jaden was 10 1/2 lbs when he was born

One word: OUCH!

[catnapper]

I have always wondered about what compelled people to intrude their opinions on a new mom... I had a coworker that had the same problem. She was in major pain. And yet she STILL forced herself to try because so many people told her she HAD to. She sat in her office crying every day from pain. She finally stopped when both her breasts were horribly infected from the sores. I'm sorry, but you can't force something on yourself or your child that isn't working.

Years ago, before the inven of formula, there were wet nurses because many women were like you and my coworker - just unable to do it. Don't let them intimidate you. You know what is best for you.

Chruista, I was also a formula baby. My mom said that in the 70's most people were told formula was better than breast! Go figure! And I also consider my mom to be my best friend (also outside my husband of course )