How do I handle this?

[Tonya]

We just found out we're having a boy yesterday. All of the grandmother's (my mother in law ESPECIALLY) initial reaction was utter disappointment. They are already pressuring me to have another baby right after this one. Everyone is hellbent that I'll give them a girl. I'm not a freaking baby making machine! It is not my problem that there aren't any girls in the family. Mike and I made the decision a long time ago that this would be our last child. I think it is rude as hell that everyone is pressuring me so soon about having a girl.

I nicely explained that we already have Mike's vasectomy scheduled and that we made this decision a long time ago. Their response was "Well, we'll make sure you change your mind."

I already see it coming. They are going to pressure me until I get REALLY mad and flip out. How should I handle this ordeal before it explodes?

[BCBlondie]

Yikes. Sorry your relatives are giving you a hard time. I don't know what to say to help you though...

[Karen]

Explain to them that you are going to love this baby, boy or girl, and hope they will do the same. People do not get to choose the gender of their children, and it's possible that you could have ten boys and still not give "them" the girl they are hoping for.

Then, tell them the shelters are open, and they could each pick out a girl, canine, feline, cavie or lagomorph - of their own choosing. If they still complain, explain the "Big Brother/Big Sister" program to them. I'm sure there are girls out there that need positive female mentors, right?

You, not they, are responsible for the children you bear. This is your life with Mike, not theirs, and while they may MEAN well, they should soon realize they are being unreasonable.

[Cinder & Smoke]

Gud Grief!

Ya got *pushy* relatives!

Tell em this...

You and Hubby have had a LOT of *tests* done...
and the Docs ALL say it's Genetically IMPOSSIBLE
for you two to produce a GURL!

Or - just after Son #2 appears...
tell em all that Your Baby Maker BROKE ~
"Dat's ALL, Folks!!"

OR -
Just give em The *LOOK*!

/s/ Phred
..

[catnapper]

Perhaps ask them if they'd like to be a serrogate parent to carry the girl baby to term... if they say no, ask them why not? THEY want a baby girl so bad, the least they could do is help bring her to life!


Seriously, I'm sorry to hear things are like that. Its not fair to you. You've got a wonderful baby boy due in a few months and they are ruining the fun of being expectant. They should be ashamed of themselves.

[Corinna]

Just say well see Have hubbies surjury and just say later ,"gee must just not be able to get preganat again." Had the same problm in our family too after 1 boy and 1 girl they wanted more .we decided let the 3 other brothers get wives and the heat.

[carole]

Geez Tonya I cannot believe their attitude, they should be happy you are having another baby and not care what sex baby is, as long as bubs is healthy, they should count their darn blessings don't ya think?

Best to try and ignore them or come up with some witty remarks in response, something that might shut them up.

Really some people, how infuriating for you., certainly would be trying my patience to the limit.

[kingrattus]

Thats such mean things to say to you & Mike.

I would feel very hurt, & then I would just tell them off & tell them to go "to u know where".. I don't take too kindly to people like that. Its not their family its yours & Mikes ONLY. & Since when does the sex really ever matter, hoping is for one thing, but its on the be all & end all.

Do want you & Mike want to. If 2 is enough then call it quits & get fixed.

Oh & for a name, I still really like Shayne (shane), but spelt with the Y in it.

[Miss Meow]

Wow, people can be totally outrageous in their demands, desires, pushiness etc when THEY DON'T HAVE TO CARE FOR THE BABY FOR THE NEXT 20 OR SO YEARS!

Tell 'em you'll have a female baby next when THEY work out how you can guarantee the sex of a baby.

[Ally Cat's Mommy]

I can't offer any advice on how to handle this - I guess you have two options - (1) speak your mind, or (2) be tactful. It's very unreasonable of them to react the way they did.

ANY baby is a blessing - they should all just concentrate on welcoming a gorgeous healthy baby into the family!!!

[joycenalex]

tonya, my advice is this, BOTH you and mike talk to his mom TOGETHER. tell her you both love and respect her, that understand her wish, however, that the two of you are thrilled and greatful for the great blessing of another healthy son. and if she ever hints at or pressures you in anyway about another pregnancy, you are leaving for the day. mike should say, "i love you mom, i respect you mom, however tonya and i decide our family, no other person does that for us". if she does pressure or hint again about the baby again, you both pick up your things and leave. my mother and i had a similar very pointed discussion a number of years ago. i told her that if she ever brought up that issue ever again, i would leave/hang up. i had to do it twice, both times as i left, i told her that i loved her, i respected her, and that i would call her later that week, but no other person would treat me like that again. we're still close, altho' she was very steamed for weeks. make sure to tell her that you love her as you're leaving. now for your mom, you need to set that limit clearly, maybe with or without mike there, how is she with mike?

[G.P.girl]

gosh, that's so rude! if it were me i'd tell 'em to go have their own baby girl and leave me alone. but that's just me, i really don't know what to tell you, but sorry you have to deal with that.

[Tonya]

Thank you everyone for your advice. I guess I just have to deal with this head on instead of playing nice. I know that my mom will get over it, but Mike's mom won't.

Mike and I were dating for no more then a month when I met her for the first time. Within the first hour of meeting her, she asked me when I was going to give her a grandbaby and when I was going to marry her son. She's quite the impatient person to say the least.