I just need to talk about this....

[Genny]

I've been dating this guy that I work with for 2 months now...I thought that he was happy w/ me...he even told me that he loved me several times...I never said it back because I didn't know exactly how I felt yet, I mean 2 months was really too soon to be talkin like that to me...but I was glad that he seemes to like me so much...
We like went out EVERY Sunday and hung out all the time when ever we could...we both worked dif. hours so it kinda sucked cause I usually worked when he was off and the same w/ him. Anyway...he told me that I was the first gf he had ever had...and that I was the first girl he had ever kissed too. (He's 18 by the way) 3 years younger than me) But he was so good to me and so sweet to me...he would come over to my house and we'd just have fun watchin movies on the couch together...when we were out at night we would ride around and just listen to the radio and talk...I just loved being w/ him...and he talked like he loved being w/ me too...and I think at the time he really did...then....
The other day when I was fixin to get off work (I got off at 4 and he came in at 4) I talked to him for a few minutes and he only answered my questions..he didn't say anyhting else to me unless I said somethin first and that's so not like him....and when I started to leave....he ALWAYS hugs me or walks me out to my car...and he didn't do either...so that night after he had gotten off work I texted him askin what was up w/ him today...and he texted me back sayin that all this dating stuff was so new to him and a little rough...he said he didn't know what to do at times and he thought it would be best if he just didn't date anyone right now...and I didn't know what to say...he also said it wasn't my fault and nothing that I did...
But it still hurts..I wanna ask him why..he didn't give me a good enough explanation...and now at work he avoids me and won't talk to me or even look at me...It's hard going in at work now..I know he was young..and so am I..but it's still hard...cause I did care about him.. I mean we had so many plans of what we were gonna do...nothin big planned or anything...just simple things... And now I think about him so much..it feels weird not hangin out w/ him or stayin up late texting each other til 3 in the morning.
It just hurts...ya know? Anyway just needed to get it out and tell you guys...Thanks for listening about my boring life

[kitten645]

Not boring at all. I'm so sorry you got hurt. Men! Who knows? Especially at that age, they can be very immature. I know it's hard but make plans and get out with your friends or family. Distraction is the best medicine. Just move on with your happy life. At least he didn't wait until you were completely involved or really knew your feelings.
Again, I'm sorry you are hurt and sad. {{{HUGS}}}
Claudia

[Karen]

Chalk it up to experience, kiddo. It is better for him to realize he's not ready for a serious kind of relationship at this point. He's young, and the enxt three or four years are going to make a huge difference in his life and maturity level.

Take a deep breath, and make yourself wait a number of days before you text him again. The last thing you want to do right now is appear needy. You may be able to retain some of the friendship, but in a limited form, so you need to decide if you want to make that effort for a relationship that isn;t what you are looking for right now.

[gini]

You have been given some valuable advice. I too, am sorry that this has happened and you are hurt. You may never get the explanation that you want. It would be best if you could stay active - get together with other friends - stay involved in YOUR LIFE and not his.

[beeniesmom]

I think I know what happened...

Some work places don't permit fraternizing among employees, even if they are at the same level. Your boss may have said something to him ...

[CountryWolf07]

I think I know what happened...

Some work places don't permit fraternizing among employees, even if they are at the same level. Your boss may have said something to him ...

Agreed.

[Genny]

I think I know what happened...

Some work places don't permit fraternizing among employees, even if they are at the same level. Your boss may have said something to him ...

That's definitely not what happened...we weren't the only couple going out that work there....one of my friends said that maybe that it really was too soon for him to date anyone and he didn't realize it till later...she said everyone matures faster at certain things than others and she said he just wasn't ready...I dunno really...that's just what she said...

It feels so awkward when I see him at work now.. What's worse is that he won't even talk to me. I haven't tried talkin to him either, but I'm not the one who wanted to quit going out, so it makes it hard for me to know if it's alright to talk and say hi to him or if I should just wait and let him say somethin first. I haven't talked to him since that night we texted each other. I just feel like I need another bf cause I can't get him off my mind and I cry when ever I think about him...I dunno it's just hard right now....my brother says that I'll be over him in a week...I just wish I already was

[beeniesmom]

I'm really sorry about what happened. Maybe he will come around. Maybe he got scared since this is his first real relationship.

[kitten645]

I would just steer clear of him. Even if he "comes around" I'd be worried he'd break your heart again. Some men are just that way. Go on with you life and don't waste another moment or bit of energy on him. You can't do anything to change the past. You can only control the present. I hope you feel better soon
Claudia

[Genny]

I'm really sorry about what happened. Maybe he will come around. Maybe he got scared since this is his first real relationship.

That's the only thing I can come up with. Maybe he really is scared to be with anybody... He said he had never had a gf and never kissed anyone before... I dunno... I just think about him a lot, ya know? especially at night...cause we use to stay up all night texting each other after he'd get off work at 9:30 and 10:30

[Genny]

I'm really sorry about what happened. Maybe he will come around. Maybe he got scared since this is his first real relationship.

And you know, why didn't he tell me this stuff sooner...like on our first or second date? He waited too long...it's like he let me get to where I cared about him and then he decides to let me know he's not ready... It's sooooo complicated

[happylabs]

I don't claim to understand men and I am 49,was married for 17 years to the love of my life when he left me for an old college girlfriend.

I agree with the others comments. I would move on. I hate to say this but it sounds to me like he is interested in someone else or why would he feel awkward about talking to you or looking at you. He is feeling guilty about something. Also, I find it hard to believe at 18 that you were his first girlfriend ever.

At least you are young. I am old and trying to meet someone. It is a lot harder at my age.

Hang in there.

[Genny]

I don't claim to understand men and I am 49,was married for 17 years to the love of my life when he left me for an old college girlfriend.

I agree with the others comments. I would move on. I hate to say this but it sounds to me like he is interested in someone else or why would he feel awkward about talking to you or looking at you. He is feeling guilty about something. Also, I find it hard to believe at 18 that you were his first girlfriend ever.

At least you are young. I am old and trying to meet someone. It is a lot harder at my age.

Hang in there.

I don't know I really think I was his first gf, as weird as that may sound for me to say I believe him. He says he's only been friends w/ girls and from the way he was when ever we were together I think he was telling the truth about that. He never knew for anything for us to do. He always let me choose what we could do when we were out. I think it's cause he didn't really know cause he had never done stuff like that before.
You might be right about him liking someone else. I hope not even though I don't see us ever getting back together... but I just hope that's not why he ended our relationship. It doesn't seem like he had enough time to be with anybody else when we were dating cause we were always together unless one of us was working. We didn't get to stay out 'late' cause of my mom's strict rules but every night he was off we would go out and every day I was off we would go out then too. Who knows?? I wanna text him and talk to him...but I don't wanna sound needy and I'm kinda afraid since he seems to be avoiding me at work that he might ignore my texts and I really really don't want him to ignore me cause right now if I texted him and he didn't text me back it would hurt all over again...

[dukedogsmom]

Welcome to the wonderful world of relationships. Men are very strange creatures. He shouldn't have been saying he loved you. Those are some words you don't mess around with. I honestly don't know what was going through his mind. Just chalk it up as experience and move on. I hate to tell you this but there's more ahead. Just part of life. Be careful not to get too close too quickly. Maybe you spent too much time together?

[Genny]

I don't know if it was cause we spent too much time together, I don't think so really...my mom said she thinks it's cause I never told him that I loved him. I dunno about that either tho...I mean he did say it quite alot, but I don't think that's why...you know just cause I never said it...who knows??
But today at work is was weird being around him...he is so rude to me now...not rude really...just ignores me and acts like we're strangers...my friend and I were talkin and he comes in and tells her hi and doesn't say anything to me We haven't 'talked' since the night he texted me all that crap... You think he thinks that I'm mad at him? I'm hurt but not mad...I can get over it...I don't want to never talk to him again..I'd rather be friends than nothin at all, ya know? Should I say hi to him next time we see each other at work??