What is a friend?

[slleipnir]

Another whiney rant. I know some of you like never whine..but I just need to vent. I'm not one to hold anything in.

Anyway. I turns out my best friend isn't really a friend afterall. I don't know where I find these people lol. She has been one of my *ONLY* friends for a long time. Thankfully I've been meeting a couple people in the last while. Anyway. I've thought a lot differntly of her, she talks trash about a lot of her friends. I figured she wouldn't about me though, she was always pretty cool and come straight out with stuff. Anyway. I guess I was wrong. Appearintly she's been saying things like, when I got my 1500 dollar camera I was "immature and selfish and don't know how to handle money" and when I spent a lot of time helping her look for her cat, she never thanked me. Appearintly she said behind my back when someone said oh it's good she helped you, she said "yeah, a lot of good it did". THEN, she also appearintely said that it's good my "mommy" has a job that she can get me a job at. And when I thought I wasn't getting shifts I was going ot look elsewheres and she said "yeah right, she couldn't handle a job somewhere else. She just couldn't do it"

God, that just HURTS...I've had A LOT of sh**ty friends, and a lot of horrible things happen to me. I find it very hard to trust people..and it seems everytime I open to someone this happens. WTF is wrong with me?! I know I shouldn't be, but I'm freakin upset. I WAS suppose to go see some movie with her but f*** that. -sigh- I wanted to go to the drive in too cause that's the last time it will be playing or osme crap.

[dukedogsmom]

Saving up for something you want badly isn't immature, it's adult! I think she's highly jealous of you. I certainly wouldn't waste my time feeling sad over someone so low. Don't waste any more time with her. It's obvious she was never your friend. She needs someone to put her in her place. There's words for her but they can't be said here. What a waste of oxygen.

[catnapper]

She sounds like a person who is only happy when she's putting others down. It makes her feel superior, therefor better about herself. Ignore her.

You'll find friends that are worthy of your friendship. When you do, it'll feel wonderful to be able to open up and admit anything knowing full well they understand and won't judge you for it.

[slleipnir]

I know. I thought she wasn't saying stuff like that behind my back. I thought it was in my head that there was all these problems...I duno, it hurts. I really don't have many friends. Now I don't have any female friends. I talked to her about everything and anything...now I have no one

[lizbud]

Sounds like that person is extremely jealous of you & is really
desparately unhappy with her own life. I real friend would not
want to hurt your feeling like that. It's not you, it's her that has
big problems. Hang in there.

[slleipnir]

No, see, she said this behind my back. Therefore, not hurting me, therefore, perfectly ok! She talks dirt about all her friends behind their backs

She did it with a guy she JUST met that night, with no protection. Seriously, she expects me to respect that? No.

[K9soul]

I used to be more like you Audrey, and find myself trusting people too easily, opening up and feeling that even though they were saying a lot of bad things about other people, they weren't doing the same to me. Unforunately, it often isn't the case, and like you have been deeply hurt and humiliated when I learned they were doing the exact same thing to me. . Nowdays, and I'm sure you are feeling the same now, alarm bells go off in my head when someone is talking to me and they seem like they don't have a good word to say about anyone, and if they seem to relish badmouthing the same people they act friendly towards to their face. Some people simply enjoy being two-faced, it gives them a feeling of power and/or superiority.

It is so very hurtful when you find out you've been betrayed and backstabbed, and it really does damage your ability to trust and be open with people. Sadly, I guess it's better to be more cautious until you are more sure you know someone, but at some point you have to let your guard down and trust people or you end up holding things in so much that it damages you. I would just do my best to stick around positive people who don't seem to spend a lot of time criticizing and judging others. I'd steer clear of those types, because more than likely when you aren't around they are doing the same thing to you. I have a particular member in my family who does that and it still really irks me because I know they sit around and criticize me when I'm not there because that is all they do about other family members when I AM around. Suffice it to say I do not share any personal feelings with this person.

I am very sorry you were hurt. I think there are people out there in need of a good friend, who would be very fortunate to have you as a friend. You seem like a very trustworthy and caring person, and it's just a matter of finding people who can appreciate that and who can return it. Don't give up hope

[slick]

Audrey, I totally understand where you are coming from and I have some things to add, but may I politely ask you to please edit your post and remove the F word. It is offensive to some members. Thank you.

I know you are upset and I have been in your shoes many, many times. I've had many more crappy friends than real friends. Your true friends will not trash you behind your back or betray your confidence. They will stick by you no matter what. I guess you've just learned that yet another person is not a true friend. In my current world, I only have one person that I can call a true friend. My other true friends are Pet Talkers....miles away...but they give me all the support I need. Sadly, I only get to see some of them once a year and others live too far away to travel to.

Also, a true friend is something with whom you can share honest communication. Do you feel comfortable talking to her about this? Maybe explain how you feel and how it hurt you to hear about what she said??

In addition, how did you find out what she said? Did you hear it through the grapevine? Can you trust that source? I know that you said she trashes her other friends behind their backs, but could there be someone out there just trying to stir up trouble between you two?

In any case, I sending out lots of {{{hugs}}} for you at this difficult time. Hold your head up high and know that you are a wonderful person and if this friendship is coming to an end, then it's HER loss, not yours.

[Chica]

I HAVE THAT PROBLEM OF PEOPLE BEING JEALOUS OF ME!!! I DON'T BOTHER WITH THOSE PEOPLE, I TEND TO STICK WITH MY SISTERS AND OTHER FAMILY MEMBERS. THE ONLY PEOPLE WE CAN REALLY TRUST IS FAMILY!!!

[slleipnir]

I'm sorry, I took this from my journal and I thought I edited out the bad words. I can't seem to find the f word though to edit it?

[slleipnir]

Nevermind, found it. Sorry about that