Kitty Aboose! Need Legal Help!

Mom recently posted that I might be taking notes on posting while in her lap and she was right. Being in her lap was all a ruse...I needed to seek legal advise!!
The service around this place is not what it should be for a kitty of my status! Do you know when I got breakfast this morning? 8:15!! Have you ever heard of such a thing?! I've also heard tell the hoomans here will be away this weekend, which means who knows when I'll be fed?? There's someone named Vicky that comes in sometimes, but I just don't know...when I picked these people I expected certain things, you know? I haven't even been able to romp outside; they say it's because of rain...whatever....

Anyone know a good kitty lawyer?

Pinot the aboosed...:rolleyes:

:love: Too Funny.. Oww heck you dont need a kitty lawyer.. You needs to just remind your meowmom of who is in charge here.. :D

Breakfast at 8:15? That is HORRIBLE! We always wakes our mum UP at a nice dark hour for breakfast, and we won't let her roll over either. You needs to takes some lessons, stop on by about 5:45 AM tonorrow, we'll show you. Knock everything off the night stand, den off the bureau. Yowl and howl and swat at her nose sticking out from under da covers. It WORKS I tell ya!
-- Sparkle and Crew

Spunky here:
"I agree. Meowmy is on that computer instead of feeding me right now. And she didn't feed me until 7:45 this morning, which is 30 minutes late. Really. I've waited patiently this afternoon and given head bumps. Next I foul the commode, HA!!!!! You should try it. It gets her up and moving.

We've got to train the hoomins constantly."

Spunky eats 24/7. where does he put it?

Hey...this is Buddy the cat talking. That really sounds like aboose to me. Don't go to a loyer yet. Here is what I do. I go up to maw and bump, bump, bump her. Then I meow like I am dying. She pats my head and continues on that darn computer. What is with that thing anyway?!? I find if I keep sounding more and more pathetic she eventually gets up and gets me what I want. I am treated pretty good but sometimes she does forget it is dinner time - it's her age I think. That is why I have to remind her. I hope your sitsuashen clears up.

This is Your Senior Kittyzen Pal Michael aka The Dream Cat!
I may be Mr Purr but when its 7 AM and theres no fresh Whiska Pouch opened for me , then you better bet that I let my Dad know with Several LOUD MEEEEOOOOWS!
And then I look sad, and that always bring My Old Dad stumbling over with Our Breakfast!!!
We Cats RULE!!!
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FOOD NOWWWW!!!!
:cool::cool::cool:

Sydney here:

Every morning at 5:00, I start working on her.. meow-meow-meow, and tap-tap-tap on her face with the paw.

Yes dear, Sydney is right, tap-tap in the face works for me... you can also try to put your paw in your mom's nose and I'll tell you: she'll wake up immediately! ;)

Purrs,
Sophie

Hi Pinot!
I just got in from Cat Court and this is the first I've seen your message. My Meowmie says that your purrents would never aboose or neglect you but I find your message quite disturbing. No breakfast until 8:15? Unacceptable! Then abandon you for the weekend? And if that's not bad enough a strange hoomin comes to your house? If the weather in Ellicot City is anything like it is in Trenton, believe me, you don't want to go outside. It's all rainy and cold out there.

Don't worry about a thing. I'll be on the 8:00pm Amtrak train tonight to BWI and have already arranged for a ride to your house. I already sent Meowmie out to get plenty of fried chicken and crab legs so get ready for a feast guaranteed to make your empty tummy very happy.

Time to get ready to leave. I'll call you from my cell phone so we can start planning our legal strategy. Hang on, help is on the way!

Your friend,
Groucho the Lawyer
Practice Limited to Kitty Krimes and Aboose

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Freedom

We always wakes our mum UP at a nice dark hour for breakfast

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Dear Pinot,

Over the past year or so I have trained my hoomin to serve me a pre-breakfast around 4:30 AM. MEOW! Wake up, fudz lady! Then I let her go back to bed for a few hours. I thank her for doing this by being a snuggle kitty till the alarm goes off. Then she gives me breakfast (second half) while she is making hers. I awaken her for my pre-breakfast seven days a week. I started this when she got the cast off her ankle last November. She still thinks I will eat my dry food if I get hungry in the night and that will tide me over till the alarm goes off at 7:15. Silly hoomin.

Purrs,
Cassie

Elyse here: Sweet Pinot, I would be more than happy to feed you at your preferred hour, but you are in Maryland and I am in Chicago, so I don't think that would work. I would also be delighted to serve Mr. Purr at 7 and Sparkle and crew at whatever oh-dark-thirty hour they desire, but again, they're there and I am here. But my intentions are good! :love:

Dear Pinot,

We feel your pain. For the last week and a half we have been LOCKED UP during the day time. We have been able to hear all kinds of frightening --- yet interesting noises. Walls torn out and rebuilt - floors and carpet ripped out and replaced and paint, paint, paint. Do they not need us to supervisor?

Eddie is a very good supervisor...
http://petoftheday.com/talk/picture....pictureid=1335

Meowmie says we have to stay in there until all the water damage is fixed! All we have is two beds, two chairs, two windows to look out, our litter pan, water and kibbles.

Please let us know when you find a good attorney! Our claim for cruel and unusual treatment will exceed the homeowner's claim!!

Cagily,

Edwina and Eddie

I'M sHokkeD At dA TreetmUnt YoU Get!!!!:eek::eek: I Go tHru dA SaMe TinG wHen it'S DiNnEr TiMe..... mY MeowMie saiz dAt I caN'T gEt my wEt Fuud UntIl 6pm - As if I CaN TelL tIme!!!!! I MeOw and MEow RealLy Lowd bUt sHe sTiLL maKeS me WaiT aNd oN w-u-r-k DaYz (wHatEver w-u-r-k is) she DoEsn'T GeT hOme UnTil 8Pm. :eek: I Tink MaYbE We sHuD HaVe a SupPoRt GruP BeCauSe cLearLy wE aRe AbooZed!!!!!!

I HoPe YoU PhInd a Gud LaWyer......MaYbE sEnd Me HiZ BizNess KarD!!!

SiNgEd mAx

Quote:

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Originally Posted by slick

I'M sHokkeD At dA TreetmUnt YoU Get!!!!:eek::eek: I Go tHru dA SaMe TinG wHen it'S DiNnEr TiMe..... mY MeowMie saiz dAt I caN'T gEt my wEt Fuud UntIl 6pm - As if I CaN TelL tIme!!!!! I MeOw and MEow RealLy Lowd bUt sHe sTiLL maKeS me WaiT aNd oN w-u-r-k DaYz (wHatEver w-u-r-k is) she DoEsn'T GeT hOme UnTil 8Pm. :eek: I Tink MaYbE We sHuD HaVe a SupPoRt GruP BeCauSe cLearLy wE aRe AbooZed!!!!!!

I HoPe YoU PhInd a Gud LaWyer......MaYbE sEnd Me HiZ BizNess KarD!!!

SiNgEd mAx

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Maybe we cud start a klass akshun suit agenst them! OR we could sine a patishun!

Buddy
Tink
Mamma
Mack

Class action! Class action!!!

Sydney

Dear Fellow Kitties,

The many responses to Pinot's message are extremely disturbing and please be assured that, as a kitty lawyer, I am deeply concerned. I hear your meows, something must be done immediately if not sooner!!!

Poor Pinot is starving...

Eddie and Edwina are locked in a room alone. Not only that, they're left with minimal provisions plus must endure frightening noise to their sensitive ears. Another scary thought here, with the holiday season rapidly approaching is our exquisite fashionista Lady Edwina cut off from the tools of her trade? So many of you lovely girl kitties depend on Lady Edwina's expert lead and advice...

Max, call me on my cell phone ASAP! I'll take your case pro-bono...

A Class Action lawsuit does appear to be in order. To all of you that want to join a class action suit, please contact me right away. I'll meet with some of my kitty lawyer friends at Cat Court so we can see exactly where we stand.

Your friend,
Groucho the Lawyer
Practice Limited to Kitty Krimes and Aboose

Ahem - may we have the attention of all cats here please???

Myndi and Sparky (the dogs) here, to give all you kitties a different perspective, especially you Miss Pinot! :p

Hey there girl - you got to stay home and have the run of the house all to yourself this weekend. How bad can that be - huh?? Mom has told us of a place called a boarding kennel, and some cats and dogs have to go there when their hoomans go away. We've never been to one of these places, but Mom says they put you in a cage, and feed you food that you aren't accustomed to and at times you're not accustomed to either. If you're lucky, you might get a pat on the head, but don't expect too much more. And there's lots of other cats and dogs there too - so forget having any privacy. And oh - all that barking at all hours of the day and night - never a minute of peace. :mad:

At least you have someone to come to your house to take care of you. Mom also told us that she knows of some hoomans leaving their cats home by themselves for a few days. Oh - they don't go hungry or anything, since they are left lots and lots of kibble and water. However, that indoor kitty toilet gets pretty darn full and smelly by the time the hoomans get back home, and there's no one to cuddle with, or to meow to either. :(

So before any of you think about taking legal action here, remember how lucky you are. The tables might turn and you could all be charged with meewtiny. :eek:

Carry on kitties...............

Hi Pinot my friend. While I support all of your actions I must admit that things are very good here now. I am a single cat now, you know and for some reasons that has improved the service a lot.
If there really are problems I recommend the following (I appreciate Groucho's lawyer skills- but why not try first in a friendly way):
Just go to your human's bed at 2 pm. You may want to stand aon their brest and purr up a Storm.
Second step: If they do not listen sit down close by their face and pat their eyelids. You may add a single claw (tenderly please;) if needed,
Third step (I never had to go further than that): Get on the nightstand and throw down paw by paw what's on there- meowmie's ring, the alarm clock- then begin to push the lamp.
My daddy will know by then I'm really hungry :D
Yours in crime
Filou

Hi Pinot this is Tubster Panther!
When I want something to eat I find that landing near but not on Dad makes him nove toward the dinner plate!!
But I am 22 Pounds so I make a good thud!!!
:):)
Good Luck with Your Meeowmie!!
:love::love:

Dear Pinot,

I was working on a technique I am perfecting this morning. Let me share it with you...

Wait until your purrson is lying on her back. Jump on the bladder. Now here is the good part...back feet on bladder area...weight on back feet launch forward and make bisquits on the throat area. Be sure and hit that boney area.

Back to full weight on the bladder.

Repeat a few times.

If you still need more...remain on the bladder area but try various different position...constantly moving about. Maybe even lift a leg to clean that really hard to reach spot. This concentrates the pressure if done correctly.

My breakfast tuna was very good.

Effectively,

Edwina

sirrahkitties here - we are NOT allowed to read here because our mom says we might get ideas... quick!!! wut is wet food??? we are conf/////////////////////////////

Thank you all for your ideas! I'll look forward to trying some now that my purrents FINALLY came home!! I've tried the knocking the lamp off the bedside table trick, that one is pretty effective!

Groucho came by this weekend to make sure I didn't starve; he managed to smuggle in some good stuff. He had to hide when Vicky the catsitter came in, though, or she'd get suspicous. We discussed the class action suit - he'll have to make more visits to gather evidence from the other kitties. Don't worry, kitties, we'll get these hoomins in line! ;)

All I can say to our kitties is to read the post from the puppy dogs about the boarding shelters. It's a great reality check. But I digress.....

Groucho got home from Pinot's a short while ago so full of fried chicken and crab legs he barely touched his food dish. While not providing any specifics, Groucho said there is much to do. He is on his cell phone with a few of his cohorts from Cat Court trying to figure out the best way to proceed. All I know so far is there will be a meeting with two of the judges to discuss the pros and cons of a class action. Fellow purrents, I'll let you know what I hear.
But I think the cause is quite clear..... In ancient times cats were worshiped as gods, cats have never forgotten this!

My HUmAn dIdN't GeT HOmE UnTiL 9:00pM ToNigHt!!!!!!!:eek::eek: I Wuz StArvInG!!!! AlL ShE GaVe Me WuZ ONe LiTTLe HeLpInG oF Wet Fud An NoW She"s On Da Puter........

I NeEd HeLp..............:(:(

StArVInGlY YoURs
MAx

Quote:

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Originally Posted by sirrahbed

sirrahkitties here - we are NOT allowed to read here because our mom says we might get ideas... quick!!! wut is wet food??? we are conf/////////////////////////////

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I think there's a problem here! Sirrahkitties are being censored!! :eek: ...and they don't know what WET FOOD is??? Horrors! :eek:

Poor Max! 9pm! Definite aboose....you've got to be part of the class action!

Note to Edwina: I tried a different approach and LAUNCHED from the bladder area:D - it works rather well, too! ;)

Talk to you all soon! Pinot

Thats terrible Max!
If Our Dad comes home late , he ALWAYS brings us home a Kitty Bag!
:cool::cool::cool:
Last time it was Chicken Breasts!!!
We wish we could air mail you some Max , you are a Good Senior Kittyzen!!
:love::love::love:

Max, call me or send me an e-mail right away. I have to ask you a few more questions so we can start investigating your situation.

Your friend,
Groucho the Lawyer
Practice Limited to Kitty Krimes and Aboose

Quote:

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Originally Posted by momcat

Max, call me or send me an e-mail right away. I have to ask you a few more questions so we can start investigating your situation.

Your friend,
Groucho the Lawyer
Practice Limited to Kitty Krimes and Aboose

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Dear Groucho,

I heard my meowmie on the fellytone today talking to grandmeowmie. What is a weekend? Anyway, they were saying something about going to Galena this weekend to see the fall colors. I don't know exactly where Galena is or why fall colors are so important to see, but I do know this - last time meowmie went there all I had to eat was kibbles for a couple of days. No pre-breakfast, no breakfast, and no dinner. Can you put a stop to my meowmie leaving me? I don't want her to go away and not be able to feed me when I tell her to.

Thank you,
Cassie

Dear Cassie,
For some reason, hoomins like to call Saturday and Sunday the weekend maybe because lots of them don't have to leave us alone and go to work on those days. This time of year all the trees and stuff turn lots of nice colors and hoomins really like that. But as we both know, hoomins can be hard to figure out sometimes.

Now for your situation. Do I understand correctly that your Meowmie has left you all alone before to go see leaf colors with nothing for you to eat but dry food? Tell you what, I'll pm your Meowmie to see if we can reach an out of court agreement about this. Turn your cell phone on, I'll be in touch.

Your friend,
Groucho the Lawyer
Practice Limited to Kitty Krimes and Aboose

Quote:

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Originally Posted by momcat

Dear Cassie,
For some reason, hoomins like to call Saturday and Sunday the weekend maybe because lots of them don't have to leave us alone and go to work on those days. This time of year all the trees and stuff turn lots of nice colors and hoomins really like that. But as we both know, hoomins can be hard to figure out sometimes.

Now for your situation. Do I understand correctly that your Meowmie has left you all alone before to go see leaf colors with nothing for you to eat but dry food? Tell you what, I'll pm your Meowmie to see if we can reach an out of court agreement about this. Turn your cell phone on, I'll be in touch.

Your friend,
Groucho the Lawyer
Practice Limited to Kitty Krimes and Aboose

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She did, Groucho, really. She left me with dry food and water. But you know what, she felt sooooooo guilty when she got home and saw me - it hasn't happened since! Grandmeowmie called early this morning and said she doesn't think the Galena trip is on after all. Meowmie has fall cleaning to do anyway (don't tell her I told you), so it looks like I'm all right.

MomCat:
I'Ve EmAiLed You! I HaVe To Say Dat sHe wAs Gud to Me YeSteRDay. sHe Staid HomE From WuRk Cuz sHe Wuzn't FeeLiNg Gud. We Slept ALl Day toGethEr. It Wuz NicE. :)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by slick

MomCat:
I'Ve EmAiLed You! I HaVe To Say Dat sHe wAs Gud to Me YeSteRDay. sHe Staid HomE From WuRk Cuz sHe Wuzn't FeeLiNg Gud. We Slept ALl Day toGethEr. It Wuz NicE. :)

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Hi Max,
I'm sorry to hear that your Meowmie doesn't feel very good and hope she's feeling a whole lot better now. Here's a secret that maybe you can use to your advantage. Every once in awhile, I take a "sick of work day" so I can stay with Groucho. We always have loads of fun when I do that...take a nap, watch tv, play together, and share a piece of fried chicken. All Groucho has to do when I get up is give me those kitty eyes that say, " You look like you don't want to go to work when you can stay here with me instead." I'm sure Groucho will be happy to share his technique with you, call him on his cell phone.

Scritchies, lovies, and smoochies,
Momcat

Quote:

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Originally Posted by momcat

Hi Max,
I'm sorry to hear that your Meowmie doesn't feel very good and hope she's feeling a whole lot better now. Here's a secret that maybe you can use to your advantage. Every once in awhile, I take a "sick of work day" so I can stay with Groucho. We always have loads of fun when I do that...take a nap, watch tv, play together, and share a piece of fried chicken. All Groucho has to do when I get up is give me those kitty eyes that say, " You look like you don't want to go to work when you can stay here with me instead." I'm sure Groucho will be happy to share his technique with you, call him on his cell phone.

Scritchies, lovies, and smoochies,
Momcat

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Dear Groucho,
Do you think you could teach my meowmie how to take those sick of work days? I would love it if she would take a nap and share a piece of chicken with me - those are 2 of my favorite things to do!

Scritchies, lovies and smoochies from meowmie right back to you,
Cassie

P.S., Meowmie is going somewhere on Saturday but she is not staying overnight. After church on Sunday we are going to take a nap because she will be tired from Saturday. She will feel guilty for having left me, so we will probably eat chicken for lunch - works for me!

HeLp ME:eek:
JusT NoW my MeoWmie PUt hR ArmS AroUnd Me AnD HelD mE TiGhT anD KiSseD Me OveR and OVer AgAiN. Den ShE PikEd ME Up And WalKed ArounD SinGiNg To Me And MoRe KisSes. Gee, DoeSn'T iT StoP??? HoW Much SlobBer Can a Guy TaKe??

Den ShE TeLLs mE Dat She hAs to WuRk on SuNdDay aNd LeaVe mE Al aLonE aGain AlL dAy! Dat'S Da dAy We uSuaLLy SpeNd ToGetHeR and MaYbE Take A Nap.

I NeEd LegUL HeLp!!!!!!

MaX

Quote:

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Originally Posted by momcat

Hi Max,
Every once in awhile, I take a "sick of work day" so I can stay with Groucho. We always have loads of fun when I do that...take a nap, watch tv, play together, and share a piece of fried chicken. All Groucho has to do when I get up is give me those kitty eyes that say, " You look like you don't want to go to work when you can stay here with me instead." I'm sure Groucho will be happy to share his technique with you, call him on his cell phone.

Scritchies, lovies, and smoochies,
Momcat

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My Mom took one of those yesterday! I napped on her lap while she typed on the little 'puter, I got to go out on a really nice day (but I didn't catch any shrews or chipmunks to give her as a present), and we spent a lot of time together. I think she's trying to make up for going away! ;)

Max & Cassie, you really need to call Groucho for the proper technique. I think he's got a patent. :D


Headbumpies,
Pinot:)

Dear Cassie, Max, and all my fellow kitties,
A "sick of work day" is when Meowmie feels fine but just doesn't want to go to the office. She thinks it's her idea but really it's my doing. Since this is another technique to give us kitties the upper hand it can't be posted here. Our Meowmies might see it and we can't have them in on one of our top secrets. We'll be leaving for the World Series in a few more days in the privacy of the Catmobile. How about we all get together there and I'll clue you in on how to pull this off.

Your friend,
Groucho

PS: Plans for our World Series trip will be posted tomorrow or Sunday so get your baseball gloves ready. Pinot is already working on the maps.