Where I'm at now...something positive

I came back to look at Mikey again for my daily dog fix!!! Thanks, that picture still makes me smile.

Spent an hour and a half with my counsellor this evening. OMG she is wonderful. I can't sleep because my body wants me to deal with what all has gone on. She will help me with that and eventually I will sleep again. Basically he has traumatized me and recovery is possible. She says I need to get angry and try to stay there for a while, it will help to get healthy.

I also made the trek to my divorce lawyers today, paid the fee, left her his paperwork, my list of what I want and a few other details. I have an appointment with her Monday.

Sounds like a good, productive day. All important steps toward a better future.

And how are you two on this wonderful Thursday?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Pinot's Mom

And how are you two on this wonderful Thursday?

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I am doing much better after my counselling session last evening. Thank you for asking! I am getting my nails done tonight and am really looking forward to that. There should be nothing going on today with regard to him so it looks to be a really good day.

Rose, how are you my dear?

Mikey, still love that last picture, it makes me smile every time!

Gayle & Rose I have just been reading through this for the first time and may I say I think you are both incredible women and, though you may not think so, are really doing so well on that road to fuller and much better life.

I will be keeping you both in my prayers.
Love and http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v1...iles/Hugs2.gif http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v1...iles/Hugs2.gif

Back for my morning Mikey fix!! :D

Got bad news last night, my mom's sister's cancer has returned and she has been given 2-6 months to live.

When it rains it pours. Hello, angels above, I'm getting tired of being WET!!! Need some help here, please!! Won't someone pay attention??

I looked back in my posts and discovered that the California incident was in 2008!!!! From that I have been able to piece together what has gone on since them. I was sure it was longer ago than that.

Feeling really tired, kind of hungry and a yet bit stronger today than yesterday.

My workbook came today. It is called: Healing the Trauma of Domestic Violence, a workbook for women.

In the first few pages it is bang on.

Hopefully working thru this will help me heal.

Still loving the Mikey photo!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Queen of Poop

When it rains it pours. Hello, angels above, I'm getting tired of being WET!!! Need some help here, please!! Won't someone pay attention??

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They are paying attention, dear lady. They have opened your eyes and your heart to your predicament. They have brought you back to life. And sometimes life hurts very, very much. But then you heal and you are stronger, wiser and even more beautiful than ever before.

:love:
Cathy

Prayers for your aunt, Gayle. Did she smoke also?

Even if she did, it just sucks and is sad! HUGS

Hope you are doing well, Rose!

Well,

I went to read the settlement document over today. Didn't make it very far before bursting into tears.


We, Rosemary Lupo Rottmayer and Christopher Allen Rottmayer, being sworn, certify that the following statements are true:

1. We were married to each other on February 22, 1998.
2. Because of irreconcilable differences in our marriage (no chance of staying together), we have made this agreement to settle once and for all what we owe to each other and what we can expect to receive from each other.

I am SO sad. :(

I am still staggered by the swiftness and ease with which he discarded me.

I am getting to the point, with friends I've spoken with, are telling me to: not to be angry, or hateful. Not to let it ruin my life. I have to go out and try new things (I have crippling introversion)
None of that is appealing right now.
The reality is that no one can know how empty my life feels right now.

Gayle I'm happy there is a book out there that addresses what you've gone through. I cannot IMAGINE. And your therapy session sounds hopeful too.
Thinking of you.

This part is for you Richard-
A positive step. Trying to get tough....

With the Holidays rapidly approaching, and me not wanting to celebrate nor have them pass as any ordinary day. I am going to volunteer to feed the needy somewhere. At the very least, I can be helpful to someone.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by rosethecopycat

With the Holidays rapidly approaching, and me not wanting to celebrate nor have them pass as any ordinary day. I am going to volunteer to feed the needy somewhere. At the very least, I can be helpful to someone.

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Rose, I have a suggestion for you about the holidays. Many of the people in nursing homes these days are "orphans" - folks with no family or friends to visit them. In many cases, they have outlived family members and friends, and no one ever visits them. So that might be a good, productive thing to to - spend some time visiting with some old folks on the holidays. I bet the front desk, or the social workers at any hospital can tell you who is loneliest, and might want a visit.

One very beloved person I knew said once, when I visited her, "maybe I never should have had a family, so I wouldn't feel so awful when they don't visit." Her two grown kids had relocated to the West Coast, but that didn't ease her loneliness, especially at the holidays.

Wow, Karen.

I am thinking that is going to be me someday too.
I have no children.

I will try to work that in. I already know of a place.

Thanks,

Rose

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Catherinedana

They are paying attention, dear lady. They have opened your eyes and your heart to your predicament. They have brought you back to life. And sometimes life hurts very, very much. But then you heal and you are stronger, wiser and even more beautiful than ever before.

:love:
Cathy

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Rose and Gayle - BINGO!! So well said!!

Rose, I am so sorry that you feel discarded. Remember, it is his loss. A woman like that will never remain with him for long and then he will be the lost and lonely party. By then you will have moved on and made a brand new life for yourself. You are strong, you just need to put your mind to it and you can do anything. I think visiting the elderly is an awesome idea for your Thanksgiving holiday. You're welcome to come visit me if you need to get away completely. No snow here yet. I too worry about being alone as I age. But then I look at the teenagers out there these days and figure I'm better off without one of those. They just don't have the same sense of responsibility we have so likely would just stick me in a home and forget about me. Worst case you and I can figure a way to take care of each other as we get old. But sorry, I'm not changing your diaper!!!! Hope that gave you a giggle. :D

Okay, I have to give you both a Mikey fix. He has something to say :)

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v7...nut/Image6.jpg
K, so i gotsa bone to pick with these two guys who have been "buggin" you girls. you ladies don't deserves the treatment they gave you and i for one will do everything in my power to make you feel better :D I gots that ability wit the ladies.

Oks sooo I have a story for you. One time der was this girl and she was way different from me..she was brown and really really short..and had kinda a squeeky voice, but despite our differences we fells in love. And hey, as a mom says "if a guy like you can find love, why can't eberybody?" So, der you have it. I guess what I am sayin is love dos not always come in da first package. But you ladies are great gals, so I say you'll have no trouble findin' a *RIGHT* prince charming that'll make your life a HOLE lot better. O, and don't use any excuses cuz love dos not have any boundaries. For now though, i will always be here to make you feel better if I can :) I am a ladies man if I do say so myself ;)

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v7...t/mikey086.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v7...t/mikey087.jpg


SO SMILE :D Live life da way you ALWAYS wanted - and live it for YOURSELFS until you are ready!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v7...mikey004-2.jpg

Wuv,
Mikey :love:

Love the Mikey pictures and thank you for the story. The last picture with the tongue is just too funny. Thank you both.

Rose, just remember, what goes around comes around. One day, that @%$*&#$ will get his and he'll get it good. One day, he's going to wake up and realize what he's done and wish he hadn't. Believe me. Rose, your day is coming!! Chin up!! You are a great lady and you can get through this!!!
{{{{{ROSE AND GAYLE}}}}}

Having a really bad afternoon/evening. Doing alot of crying. Stopped by for a look at the Mikey pics for a bit of a pick me up. Wondering also how you are doing Rose.

Awww, sending you a big virtual hug. Have a good cup of something strong and warm, and let it warm you heart as well as your hands, and know you are loved.

Thank you Karen. Yesterday was a very bad day for me. Today is a bit better but I'm so very nervous and stressed. I see MY divorce lawyer in and hour and a half. My stomach is in knots. My IBS is acting up. I shouldn't be this stressed seeing MY lawyer. I'm taking her all the info I could gather that is required plus alot that is for her info on the history of this awful relationship. Hopefully this goes well and we can all be grown ups and reach a settlement sooner rather than later. I really want my Christmas decorations, the rest of my clothes, a bed, etc.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by rosethecopycat

This part is for you Richard-
A positive step. Trying to get tough....

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I was hoping you were going to start training to become a cage fighter?;)

Good on you!

QoP and Rose,

Remember as you go along and get the HARD things out of your way?

The rest are smaller, easier and you'll both, at some point, look back and laugh at the hardship you are going thru.

Remember,

Time wounds all heels.


Or something like that!

You just gots to keep smilin' - I'm tellin' you it's infectious :D:love:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v7...71_3811685.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v7...71_3964178.jpg

Gayle, how did things go with the lawyer? I hope getting the first visit done took a load off!

Rose, I hope you are doing well...if I recall right, the legal thing has been drawn out and awful for you. Prayers that it gets resolved SOON.

{{{hugs}}} to both of you.

My lawyer is good and she's really funny. Clearly she does this alot and deals with crappy husbands alot. We're going to scare the pants off of him. Whereas he wanted it all, it totally doesn't work that way. I'd better not say what the plan is here, just incase he snoops, but I wish I could see his mouth drop! Feeling pretty good right now.

Thanks for the Mikey fix. I really love that dog!!!!

Woo! This IS the news you've (AND WE!) have been waiting for! I cannot wait to hear about all the jaw dropping appearance. I really am glad my handsome man is helping you out, even just a little. He really does have that effect.

I knew your lawyer had a plan!! Good news-and being more specific, you're right, is not a good idea. He can easily find his way here. Good job!:)

Far-fantastic-out, Gayle! Three cheers for a great lawyer!

P.S., a candle for you, too: http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/...ng&cid=9637944

A candle for you too, Rose: http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/...ng&cid=9637999

Thinking of you and sending you love and energy at Thanksgiving..

From Pat, one of your many, many PetTalk friends (and my cats, Sydney, Poppy, Elmer, Bob, and Sparkler, also)

Thank you all very much.

My 'husband' signed the settlement agreement today. It's not quite 'in stone' until the gavel sounds, but if he goes back on it now, my lawyer will cry 'foul'.
And the judge will not look kindly on him.

It is a great relief. But, all I really wanted was a loving husband to go through life with...

It sounds so trite to say this - but when one door slams shut another will open - and behind that door is peace, newfound strength and happiness.

I wish that for both of you!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by rosethecopycat

Thank you all very much.

My 'husband' signed the settlement agreement today. It's not quite 'in stone' until the gavel sounds, but if he goes back on it now, my lawyer will cry 'foul'.
And the judge will not look kindly on him.

It is a great relief. But, all I really wanted was a loving husband to go through life with...

---

He was not the right one for you sweetie. Give it time, good things are coming, or so everyone tells me. I am glad he signed the agreement. Doubtful he will go against it now. I wish I could share your relief, I envy you that you're pretty much done. Give yourself a pat on the back from me. You've done good. You will find happiness again, probably sooner than you think and much sooner than I ever will. I am happy for you.:D

I just want to wish both of you a very Happy Thanksgiving. I hope both of you are able to have a wonderful day in spite of everything. I know it's going to be hard this year but your PT family is with both of you. You're both stronger than you think. I really believe you'll both be so much happier next year at this time.:)

{{{{{GAYLE AND ROSE}}}}}

I just wanted to wish you too ladies and Happy Thanksgiving! :D

Love, Alyssa and Mikey :love:

ENJOY yourselves - even if you don't have turkey, make it a good day!

Rose, now you can call him your "has-been" instead of husband! ;)

Happy Thanksgiving, I know yours was last month, Gayle, but you have friends here who are thankful that you and Rose are both safer this Thanksgiving!

Sit down and write out all your good qualities.

Then lie about your bad qualities as you put those down.......;)

Love yourself first, then you can love the rest of the 3 point whatever billion, zillion people on the planet.

The world is at your front door.
The only reason you never realize it is because
it cannot knock or ring.:cool:

Thank you all. I am very, very grateful for all of you. Enjoy your Thanksgiving!

I have some good news to share. Our accountant is sending me all the tax records that I need and Revenue Canada is going to do the same, so him not letting me have access to my Tax file is a moote point now.

I have to say I was really impressed with the dude at Revenue Canada, he was over the top helpful and very nice. Totally not what I was expecting at all.

It's put a smile on my face! :)

And I'd like to send this to my very soon to be ex-husband :p

Good morning Gayle - you're sounding downright chipper! That's wonderful! I hope it continues!:)

Rose, how are things in your neck of the woods?

I have my ups and downs, but it feels good when I can get something done that seemed at first to be lost. Weekends are the hardest, I spend alot of time alone and that gives me too much time to think.

Rose, did you get thru thanksgiving ok, you had a great plan.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Pinot's Mom

Good morning Gayle - you're sounding downright chipper! That's wonderful! I hope it continues!:)

Rose, how are things in your neck of the woods?

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I was completely occupied on Thanksgiving!
I got up at 6am (Gayle-I know that's late for you- but it's butt early for me)
I gathered my loaves of bread and went downtown Orlando to meet in a parking lot. We loaded the goods into the back of a pick up. (I'm thinking-it's 8am-how are these bags going to turn themselves into breakfast?:confused:)
They led us one block away, there on the street was a set-up of tables. There were already another group of people lining them, elbow to elbow. Food all over the place, hot food, toiletries, socks, underwear, blankets, clothes.
Myself and the group were told that there is not much to do, that we should talk to the people (not my strong suit:rolleyes:) and see if they need anything. The volunteers outnumbered the people 2:1.
I planted myself at the end of the food, where people were offered socks, and such. I held their plate of food, while they gathered the amenities. Then I would walk them over to where they wanted to sit, which was on the street or the curb. Everyone was extremely grateful.
Then I was placed on the 'mobile syrup unit'. Three volunteers went through the crowd offering extra pancakes. I doused them with syrup. (now I am all sticky). So that was the extent of that experience.
I went to my friends house for lunch. After that I went to the Salvation Army. Golden Corral sponsored this event, which fed 129,000 meals.
I found the tent for volunteer registration. After trying to pre-arrange my presence, I still found myself in the 'unconfirmed volunteer' line. (which means no T-Shirt) I got a plain name tag. We were corralled into a waiting area and separated off in groups of 17. The woman told my group: we don't have much for you to do, but you can go in and talk to the people (:rolleyes:) I filtered into the building. My introversion kicked in and I was plastered against the wall. I decided to try again. Back out to the corral. "We don't have much for you to do....please talk to the people...."
Now, because I don't have a T-shirt, volunteers are asking me if I need anything!:eek::mad:
I found my way to the exit, where volunteers were handing out toiletry bags and stuffed animals. I asked if they needed any help, and one woman actually told me "no, not really..." I told her that a lot of people don't have anything to do, and I pushed myself in the line up. Eventually somebody handed me a T-shirt (2XL- :eek::p) I was like the 8th person in the line trying to hand out goodies. The 'aggressive' women and a child were at the beginning of the line, and handed out the vast majority of goods. There were two young adults trying to hand out the same, to the right of me, but they were getting 'no action'. I suggested to the 'aggressives' that the young people get to change positions to the left, so they can feel like they are helping tool. (which is important for young volunteers :D)
I took to sorting the boxes of toiletry bags, as some had specific things that people were looking for. (I'm a born sorter)

Overall it was a good experience. I learned a lot. There is an over abundance of volunteers willing to help. Is it only on the holidays? What about the rest of the year?

The one thing I noticed that in this huge gymnasium of people eating, there was no entertainment. Not even piped in music. I want to try and borrow my friend's 'track machine' so I could possibly go there and play live flute w/tracks of Christmas music. I will look into this if they are serving food on Christmas day, that way I won't have to be the 8th person with toiletry bags. :p

That's all for now, I'll tell about my Thanksgiving evening soon.....

----while trying to post this- I got a notice that "I have used 13 images-the limit is 10- so I have deleted some of my smilies : (
- Ah, there goes my freedom of creative writing.) Hahaha...
did you see how I got one in there manually! : )