Where I'm at now...something positive

[Pinot's Mom]

Good morning Gayle - you're sounding downright chipper! That's wonderful! I hope it continues!

Rose, how are things in your neck of the woods?

[Queen of Poop]

I have my ups and downs, but it feels good when I can get something done that seemed at first to be lost. Weekends are the hardest, I spend alot of time alone and that gives me too much time to think.

Rose, did you get thru thanksgiving ok, you had a great plan.

[rosethecopycat]

Good morning Gayle - you're sounding downright chipper! That's wonderful! I hope it continues!

Rose, how are things in your neck of the woods?

I was completely occupied on Thanksgiving!
I got up at 6am (Gayle-I know that's late for you- but it's butt early for me)
I gathered my loaves of bread and went downtown Orlando to meet in a parking lot. We loaded the goods into the back of a pick up. (I'm thinking-it's 8am-how are these bags going to turn themselves into breakfast?)
They led us one block away, there on the street was a set-up of tables. There were already another group of people lining them, elbow to elbow. Food all over the place, hot food, toiletries, socks, underwear, blankets, clothes.
Myself and the group were told that there is not much to do, that we should talk to the people (not my strong suit) and see if they need anything. The volunteers outnumbered the people 2:1.
I planted myself at the end of the food, where people were offered socks, and such. I held their plate of food, while they gathered the amenities. Then I would walk them over to where they wanted to sit, which was on the street or the curb. Everyone was extremely grateful.
Then I was placed on the 'mobile syrup unit'. Three volunteers went through the crowd offering extra pancakes. I doused them with syrup. (now I am all sticky). So that was the extent of that experience.
I went to my friends house for lunch. After that I went to the Salvation Army. Golden Corral sponsored this event, which fed 129,000 meals.
I found the tent for volunteer registration. After trying to pre-arrange my presence, I still found myself in the 'unconfirmed volunteer' line. (which means no T-Shirt) I got a plain name tag. We were corralled into a waiting area and separated off in groups of 17. The woman told my group: we don't have much for you to do, but you can go in and talk to the people () I filtered into the building. My introversion kicked in and I was plastered against the wall. I decided to try again. Back out to the corral. "We don't have much for you to do....please talk to the people...."
Now, because I don't have a T-shirt, volunteers are asking me if I need anything!
I found my way to the exit, where volunteers were handing out toiletry bags and stuffed animals. I asked if they needed any help, and one woman actually told me "no, not really..." I told her that a lot of people don't have anything to do, and I pushed myself in the line up. Eventually somebody handed me a T-shirt (2XL- ) I was like the 8th person in the line trying to hand out goodies. The 'aggressive' women and a child were at the beginning of the line, and handed out the vast majority of goods. There were two young adults trying to hand out the same, to the right of me, but they were getting 'no action'. I suggested to the 'aggressives' that the young people get to change positions to the left, so they can feel like they are helping tool. (which is important for young volunteers )
I took to sorting the boxes of toiletry bags, as some had specific things that people were looking for. (I'm a born sorter)

Overall it was a good experience. I learned a lot. There is an over abundance of volunteers willing to help. Is it only on the holidays? What about the rest of the year?

The one thing I noticed that in this huge gymnasium of people eating, there was no entertainment. Not even piped in music. I want to try and borrow my friend's 'track machine' so I could possibly go there and play live flute w/tracks of Christmas music. I will look into this if they are serving food on Christmas day, that way I won't have to be the 8th person with toiletry bags.

That's all for now, I'll tell about my Thanksgiving evening soon.....

----while trying to post this- I got a notice that "I have used 13 images-the limit is 10- so I have deleted some of my smilies : (
- Ah, there goes my freedom of creative writing.) Hahaha...
did you see how I got one in there manually! : )

[Catty1]

Wow - what a great and busy day for you, Rose!

My mom is asking about what we are doing for Christmas again this year. I think we should volunteer at the Mustard Seed dinner in Calgary. Wonderful event, wonderful bunch of people. Live entertainment - I did that for several years, a lot of musicians donate 30 minutes or more.

Gayle - hugs, the weekends will become friends again.

[Daisy and Delilah]

Both of you ladies should be proud of yourselves for how well you're doing. We're all very proud of you. I'm thrilled to hear such encouraging news. Brighter days are in view!! YAY!!!
{{{{{GAYLE AND ROSE}}}}}

[Queen of Poop]

Wow Rose, good for you girl!!! Sounds like it was an excellent day. And do I detect a hint of feeling better?? You sound very positive.

I've gone to the gym, shopped, laundry, vacuumed and cleaned the bathroom! Good to keep busy. I found some cinammon scented pinecones. They're scenting up my place now!

Managing ok today.

[rosethecopycat]

The rest of the story of Thanksgiving evening...

I did feel pretty good about how I managed to spend the holiday.
Then I got an email from 'husband':

Rose,

I know things are terrible right now but I would like to wish you a happy thanksgiving. I hope you are with with Bob and Babs [neighbors]. I'm working all day which is what I wanted and I should get some nice food at one of these hotels.

Happy Thanksgiving,

Chris





I am so upset, it tipped me over the edge. I find it SO insensitive.
He's hoping the neighbors are 'tending' to me, for the mess he's caused. And
I wasn't really caring about the kind of food he stood to get on Thanksgiving...

Sorry, but it set me off crying again. I have no control.

Today on the Facebook, him and her changed their status from Married to
In a Relationship.
My pix have been deleted off his profile pictures.
I went to change my status from Married to Widowed.
But I can't get the change to 'stick'. I use the Edit Profile, Save changes, Done with Editing, etc. But it always reverts back to Married.
(any Facebookers out there can lend me a hand to get it to read the way I want it to? I don't really use Facebook)

I am still not any 'better' but as we go into the Holidays, isn't it just too much to expect? (Callate Richard ) Still not sleeping. I wish I could just command myself to sleep, but it doesn't work that way.
Maybe I'll start feeling better come January.

[Queen of Poop]

What a horrible thing for him to do. Why don't you block him from your email. Give him a taste of being shut out. I have done that with mine. I am not sure what to do about your facebook status, guess I will find out when I try to change mine, when it's true that I am no longer married to him.

I am sorry that he set you to crying. I send you a big hug and offer a small shoulder to cry on.

You're doing loads better. This is just a tiny setback. There will be those, I have them too. Look how proud and how good you felt doing what you did before you got his note!! Focus on that now, not how is note made you feel. Focus on the GOOD!!

If it's possible I am sleeping even less than before. So much runs thru my mind. I was told to get a box and put those night time troubling thoughts into it because there was no fixing them in the night, then retrieving them from the box in the morning when able to deal. So far I've not done this but maybe you want to try.

I feel for you sweetie. You're in my thoughts constantly. I am glad we can lean on each other here, I wish we were closer. I don't know how I'd get thru this without your help, support, friendship. In my books you're the BEST!!!!