Cos his fingers are too fat to press the door bell button.Quote:
Originally Posted by Bonny
Why doesn't Santa use magical mice to pull his sleigh ????
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Cos his fingers are too fat to press the door bell button.Quote:
Originally Posted by Bonny
Why doesn't Santa use magical mice to pull his sleigh ????
The children will know Santa is on their roof top because the magical mice are too squeaky.Quote:
Originally Posted by wombat2u2004
Why doesn't Santa shave his beard?
Because he wants to look like the "Man from Borneo"Quote:
Originally Posted by Bonny
Why does Santa wear a red hat ???
Santa wears a red hat to match Rudolph's red nose.Quote:
Originally Posted by wombat2u2004
How does Santa Claus make it to all the homes around the world in one night?
Because he feeds his reindeer beans and it gives them extra propulsion.Quote:
Originally Posted by cassiesmom
Father Christmas married Mary Poppins and they had a child, would they name her Mary Christmas ???
or Mary Poppins Christmas ????Quote:
Originally Posted by wombat2u2004
Why does Rudolph always get picked on by the other reindeer (dimissing the fact he has a red nose).
Why does Rudolph always get picked on by the other reindeer (dimissing the fact he has a red nose).
Because Rudolph leads the team, and all they can see is his big butt.
Why does chocolate taste so good ????
Actually it doesn't taste good. The Chocolate Cartel adds a secret ingredient that make you think it does and one to make you crave more.Quote:
wom
Why does Rudolph always get picked on by the other reindeer (dimissing the fact he has a red nose).
Because Rudolph leads the team, and all they can see is his big butt.
Why does chocolate taste so good ????
Does the Aussey Santa come from the South Pole?
because it is sweet, rich, creamy, & dreamy.Quote:
Originally Posted by wombat2u2004
What makes each snow flake that falls from the heavens so unique?
No. But my wife does.Quote:
Originally Posted by kokopup
How many women does it take to change a light bulb ???
Quote:
Originally Posted by wombat2u2004
NONE :p
Why can't men change the light bulb? :confused:
Cos it isn't their job !!! :DQuote:
Originally Posted by Bonny
Why do women waste their time with make-up when they could use the time to attend Light Bulb Changing School ????
It is a mans job to change the light bulbs, because the women need the light to see to be able to put on their make up.Quote:
Originally Posted by wombat2u2004
Why don't the guys understand?
It's a guy thing... I don't understand why guys don't understand!Quote:
Originally Posted by Bonny
What is the weather like on Dec. 21 in the southern hemisphere?
The 21st Dec 2010 downunder was........snow in the southern alps, strong winds on the east coast, flooding in central Australia, and fine/warm in Armidale :DQuote:
Originally Posted by cassiesmom
What was the weather like on 21st Dec in the northern hemisphere ??
Sunshine, Cloudy, Rain, Freezing Rain, Snow, Sleet, Hail, etc. Dec 21st is shortest day of the year in the northern hemisphere. Darkness in big supply.:eek:Quote:
Originally Posted by wombat2u2004
Why does Santa make a list about who is naughty & who is nice?
Because he never used to until he met me. :pQuote:
Originally Posted by Bonny
Are Santa Claus and Willie Nelson related ????
Yes, thru Willie's grandfathers, mothers, brothers, cousins, sisters, aunts, grandmothers,great great grandmother. I know they are blood brothers for sure. :D Santa is a blood donor & Willie received a blood transfusion years ago from Santa. :cool:Quote:
Originally Posted by wombat2u2004
Wombat, Have you really met Santa?
No, but I played around with a Carol once in a pink motel. :p:p:pQuote:
Originally Posted by Bonny
Bonny, given that Santa brings gifts to good people and coal to naughty people. How many tons of coal have you collected so far ????
Quote:
Originally Posted by wombat2u2004
:eek: Not a single lump of coal :eek: Oh, all right enough to heat our house for the next ten years.
Are you Happy Now?
YES !!! :DQuote:
Originally Posted by Bonny
Lets continue. So, given the huge amount of coal you have placed yearly under your Xmas tree. How many times have you been naughty in the past ???
1-10 times ??
10-1000 times ??
1000-1000000 times ??
1000000-a gazillion times ??
Now only Santa would know that because he is the one keeping track of it all. I would guess though maybe between 10-1000 times on the lower end of those numbers. The coal has kept our house warm & cozy through the winters.
Why haven't you received any coal? :rolleyes:
I received a CD of songs sung by Nat King Cole. . .does that count?Quote:
Originally Posted by Bonny
(Answer and question in one sentence!)
By gum that more than counts. :cool::DQuote:
Originally Posted by Catherinedana
Does Nat King Cole sing Silent Night on your CD?
He sings it so silently I can't actually hear it. . .Quote:
Originally Posted by Bonny
Will Santa accept Nutriberry bird treats instead of cookies this year?
Santa will most definitely accept bird treats! He will re-gift them by placing them near bird feeders all around the world.Quote:
Originally Posted by Catherinedana
Do you think God was having fun while He was creating birds? (Okay! Now a red one! Now a blue one! An orange! A yellow! Now a big one! Now a tiny one!)
Yup! God was having fun with colors even when he made all of us. :D The light of day, the dark of night, the red of sunsets, the brown earth tones. The human color wheel. :cool:Quote:
Originally Posted by cassiesmom
I wonder what God thinks about it all now?
When He sees me He probably starts wondering what I'll goof up today :eek:!Quote:
Originally Posted by Bonny
What's the best time of day to go to the mall with Christmas returns?
Just don't go the day after Christmas with your return because you will probably be waiting in a long line till next Christmas.Quote:
Originally Posted by cassiesmom
What will you be doing New Years?
Probably the same as last year.Quote:
Originally Posted by Bonny
Why is snow white ????
For the same reason COAL is black. Because!Quote:
Originally Posted by wombat2u2004
Why do they call the long long winter insanity cabin fever? :eek:
For the same reason they call Wom laying on the beach "bliss". Because!Quote:
Originally Posted by Bonny
How many snowflakes fell on NYC last night ???
1. 0 ?
2. 14 ?
3. 18 billion gazillion plus one ?
4. I don't know ?
5. Who cares anyway ?
18 billion gazillion plus one (and a half) would be my guess.Quote:
Originally Posted by wombat2u2004
Where are the snowplows in New York?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bonny
They're parked in city parking lots.
What is slush made of?
Crushed yellow snow with strawberry flavouring. :DQuote:
Originally Posted by cassiesmom
Why do erasers erase ????
so you can write the same sentences over & over again the next day 50 times each while you are wearing your dunce cap . I will not talk when the teacher is talking. I will not throw spit balls in the classroom. I will raise my hand to be called on. I will sit at my desk quietly & read my lessons.Quote:
Originally Posted by wombat2u2004
Why are people so quiet on elevators?
People are quiet on elevators because they're listening to the piped-in music.
what's for supper?
For-suppers are those things that look like scissors that doctors use to hold onto things.Quote:
Originally Posted by cassiesmom
http://www.petoftheday.com/talk/pict...pictureid=4072
What instruments do surgeons play?
Surgeons train on stringed instruments to improve their finger dexterity.
How do the saints and angels respond after God sneezes?
Dog bless you!Quote:
Originally Posted by cassiesmom
What's a centimeter?