a question re engagements....

[Edwina's Secretary]

I don't know anyone who was "suprised" with a ring. My husband proposed and later we went together to pick out the rings (his too.)

But that doesn't make very good television!

[shepgirl]

Mine was a surprise but hubby knew my tastes and the proposal was not a surprise.

[Sirrahsim]

When we got engaged it was anything but traditional because he was in Japan and I was in Ohio. We were already talking about getting married so he knew what color gold that I wanted but the rest of the decisions regarding the ring were up to him. Due to the oceans between us he had to order it and have it mailed to me. I had to wait for him to call me and then opened the package and looked at the ring while I was on the phone with him I was living in the college dorms at the time so it was a BIG event on my floor

[Suki Wingy]

My family has generally done it that way, yes, but very simple rings, with even simpler plain silver bands for the wedding rings. My step-dad's actually has some sort of design carved into it.

[pomtzu]

It's pretty much "anything goes" anymore. The old fashioned way was for the guy to pick it out and surprise her, but even as OLD as I am, I picked mine out way back when. When my son was getting one for his now wife, he had me go along and pick it out because I knew what she liked.

[RICHARD]

The 'new' rules of picking out an engagement ring are as follows.

These are the rules set aside by the diamond sellers.

1. The ring should cost the man three months of his yearly salary.

2. See rule number one.


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The way I wanted to propose was the way my dad did it.

Find a gal, ask her first, then go to the parents, ask for her hand, then get a ring. THere is way too much emphasis put on the size, cost and material of the rings.

I worked with women for long time and there was nothing more entertaining, and telling, when a gal shows off a ring to her co-workers.

[Barbara]

Here "engagement" as a celebration is something you had in the 50s or 60s. After that you did not get engaged -you just married. Both people picked up their rings together and they were simple bands in yellow gold. Very avantgarde people (like me when I married first time in 1975) wore no rings at all.
As times passed the wedding bands became more eleborate. And within the last ten years the US fashion has taken over, fuelled by TV shows I suppose. Now women - especially of the more wealthy classes- get that 3-salaries-diamond for engagement and wear it with the wedding band later.
Very old-fashioned people (like me when I married the second time ) don't wear any wedding ring.

[RICHARD]

As times passed the wedding bands became more eleborate. And within the last ten years the US fashion has taken over, fuelled by TV shows I suppose. Now women - especially of the more wealthy classes- get that 3-salaries-diamond for engagement and wear it with the wedding band later.

Here they have very strong marketing campaigns that is led by Zales, Kaye and another diamond company-

One commercial is about women who get a text message from another woman-The woman texts the message that the man took her to a very classy restaurant-the next text says something about the jewelry store he went to-apparently to purchase the engagement ring.

Now they have rings that are graded by color-some rings are laser engraved with their 'purity' and grade. There is also supposed to be certificates stating that the diamonds did not originate in countries known for their black market mining operations.

One story that really made me wonder about the worth of a diamond was from a talk show host that made a statement about the price and availability of diamonds across the world.

He made he assertion that the diamond cartels own warehouses of diamonds and if all the stones were put into circulation the net worth would plunge dramatically.

I can see where the purity and color of stones can affect the price but aren't they all just old carbon?

[Twisterdog]

I don't know anyone who was "suprised" with a ring. My husband proposed and later we went together to pick out the rings (his too.)

But that doesn't make very good television!

I, also, don't know anyone who did not pick out her own ring. My husband and I picked out our rings together after he proposed, as did everyone I know.

Perish the thought that my husband, bless his heart, would have picked out a ring for me on his own and surprised me with it. It would have been some huge, cocktail-ring looking thing ... not me at all.

[carole]

thanks everyone, made interesting reading, seems it is a bit of everything over there, here is it as i said you go pick the rings out together, thank goodness, i too would hate anyone picking out my ring for me,but for those who did, it seems they knew your taste very well and you were more than happy with their choice,ten out of ten for them.