Bad news (Aidan)

**Samantha Puppy** · 01-11-2006, 06:33 PM

While Aidan's bloodwork for any chromosomal issues came back normal, I'm afraid the news isn't so good for his eye problems. We already knew that his left eye is physically smaller than his right, and that he has a thing called "coloboma" in it - which means a section of the retina is missing (and in Aidan's case, a huge chunk of it). Today we found out that he has coloboma in his right as well... It's way too early to tell exactly how much of an issue it'll be right now but there's a good possibility that his eyesight in his right eye may be as poor as 20/200... which means he'd be legally blind... never able to drive, to play catch with Josh, to enjoy a baseball game, etc. But as I said, we won't know the full extent of the problem for another 3 or so years, until he can tell us what he can and can't see.

The opthamologist says it's nothing I did (even though it happens during fetal development, so I don't know how it couldn't be my fault), but every time I look at the poor kid, I break down into tears and tell him how sorry I am I couldn't get it right.

It's just not fun when the doctor starts mentioning how great the programs are at the Maryland School for the Blind. :*( This kid doesn't deserve this ****** break.

Anyway, just thought you'd all want to know.

**jenluckenbach** · 01-11-2006, 07:05 PM

I have no words that can truly comfort you, but try to believe that there ARE things out of your control and you can NOT be to blame for this.

Aidan will grow up with loving and caring people around him and that is much more important than catching a ball.

And keep the faith. Nothing is 100% certain yet, and medical advances happen every day.

{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}} to you and your family. And prayers as well.

**beeniesmom** · 01-11-2006, 07:37 PM

I am so sorry. As jenluckebach said, nothing is 100% certain. An operation may become possible as he gets older.

**Christiansmommy** · 01-11-2006, 07:44 PM

Originally Posted by jenluckenbach

I have no words that can truly comfort you, but try to believe that there ARE things out of your control and you can NOT be to blame for this.

Aidan will grow up with loving and caring people around him and that is much more important than catching a ball.

And keep the faith. Nothing is 100% certain yet, and medical advances happen every day.

{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}} to you and your family. And prayers as well.

I have to second what Jen said...and I am sure I can't say anything that will comfort you, especially since this news is so new to you. ((((HUGS))))) Someday when Aiden is grown, he will be able to tell you that this wasn't any fault of yours, just seeing the love that you have for this little man will already supercede anything...a mother's bond to their child is like nothing else...this bond and your love will help you to face the road ahead. Again, I know words can't really comfort right now...but i will certainly pray fo your little guy...(((HUGS))) again.

Robyn

**Toby's my baby** · 01-11-2006, 07:50 PM

I am so sorry to hear this. Hugs and prayers coming your families way. Even if it is a fetal development, it is still not your fault, you couldnt have done anything to change it.

**Ginger's Mom** · 01-11-2006, 09:31 PM

Very well put, Jen. And she is right, there are some things that you just do not have any control over during the development of the baby. What you do have control over and I am sure you will have no problem with is how you care for and love this little boy. I think that Aiden is very lucky to have two such loving and caring parents to help him grow. Even if he does have vision problems there is so much you will be able to show him, and I am sure he will grow into a happy well-rounded young man.

**jenfer** · 01-11-2006, 10:04 PM

I am sorry to hear it. I also agree with what Jen said. Please don't blame yourself!

**Daisy and Delilah** · 01-11-2006, 10:08 PM

{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}

**Kfamr** · 01-11-2006, 10:20 PM

Jaime, my tears are flowing for you - especially after I read what Jen wrote. It is so true. I can't imagine how hurt this makes you feel but, it really cannot be your fault. I am sure you and Josh will raise him to be a gentleman on so many levels.

{{HUGS}} to you.. Your baby boy is just too precious. Has he tried on the gifts I got him yet?

**Karen** · 01-11-2006, 10:25 PM

Big hugs to you.

Now, even if he's 100% blind, he can still play catch with Josh! Not with a baseball, but with a ball that makes some noise, jingles or rattles. Still, though, No Playing Ball in the House! Just figger you should establish that rule early!

He can still enjoy a baseball game - by listening to it on the radio, like I did as a child. I have always been awful at sports, so didn't enjoy striking out, or not running fast enough to first base, though I was always the catcher, so I usually caught the ball okay. But I enjoy watching (or listening to people who ARE good at it! He can be 100% blind and still do many, many things. He could be a musician, a composer, a scientist, a teacher, a laborer at many things, a sculptor, a politician or nearly anything else.

Don't be too sad, sweetheart. Even if he just has 20/200 vision in one eye, that's a lot! He'll be able to see colors, which I cannot imagine not knowing about. Even that is an amazing gift we all take for granted.

And he can be the most important thing in the world - a happy little boy. And someday, a happy bigger boy, and some day a happy adult.

He is a sweet, precious being that Josh and you - through much difficulty on your part especially - brought healthily into this world. And he has more aunties here at Pet Talk (and some uncles as well) who already love him, pray for him, and look forward to watching him grow.

Sending you big, bracing hugs. And a shoulder or two to cry on, too, if you want it. My family jokes that we have terry-cloth shoulders - nice and absorbant, okay to cry into.

Kiss Aidan for me, okay? Right on his wee little button nose!

**anna_66** · 01-11-2006, 10:50 PM

Karen couldn't be more right Jamie. There's lots of things he WILL be able to do, try to look at it that way.
And please, don't think it was anything you did.

{{{HUGS}}}
Anna

**Sudilar** · 01-11-2006, 10:58 PM

Aidan is a precious gift, no matter what physical challenges he may have. He has you to guide him and love him. He is blessed and so are you.
Hugs.

**Anita Cholaine** · 01-12-2006, 11:21 AM

I'm sorry... First of all, don't blame yourself, it wsn't your fault...

I don't have anything to said that hasn't been said before. I'm sure that, with the love and support of his wonderful mum and dad, Aidan's life will be happy and full of joy... He's already blessed of having such a loving family...

(((((hugs)))))

**Samantha Puppy** · 01-13-2006, 08:04 AM

Thanks for the kind words, everyone. I appreciate you all hearing me out and saying such nice, supportive things. I can finally, finally think about what Aidan may be up against without automatically bursting into tears, so we're taking baby steps but progress is progress. I'll keep you all posted as we find out more, but as the doctor said - it's basically a waiting game until Aidan can tell us what he can and can't see.

And Kay - I'm afraid I haven't been able to put either the onesie or the bib on Aidan yet. You see, he was so small when he was born he couldn't even fit into preemie clothing (3-5 lbs.). The onesie you got him is for 18 mos. so it would absolutely swim on him. I have a feeling he'll be closer to 2 years old before he'll be able to wear it and fill it out. The bib is also big for him - but he should be able to use it in about 3-6 months. When he is able to fit into them, I will take pictures - I promise!