bad news

[toughCookie]

well, my 2 foster kitties, Thelma and Louise, ( I changed Thelma's name to Emma) are doing good, even tho I need to work with them on a few minor things, (scratching, eating too much, then vomiting, and one of the little *darlings* isn't covering her ..mess in the box, she did at first and I don't know which one, but these are things that I can deal with) but the bad news is, Muffin will not accept them... she cornered Louise and was mean, made poor Louise cry for help. I was*miffed* but didn't want to get mad at Muffin, tho I did kind of yell at her, or spoke loud, not really yelled,anyway... I think I am not going to be able to keep them here, Muffin is getting worse toward them both each day. I really don't know what to do...any ideas? I am very fond of them both, have watched them both get so much better each day, they seem happy and don't hide anymore, and let me hold and pet them.Emma loves to be scratched..there are a couple of people I know who I am thinking of asking if they would take them in, but I am not hopeful of them saying yes. I want to keep them in my life, so giving them to someone I know would be great. I would even continue to pay for the food(they eat alot) and the litter, I am so attached to them already.. their little faces, when they meow to me, talk to me in their way, those little sweet faces... I am pretty upset about this. I didnt't expect this to happen when I signed up to foster, but I couldn't let them get separated. I could just cry over all these poor animals. well here's hoping someone will take them in and I can still see them...Now I wish I had made more cat loving friends here. I still don't know alot of people, well I will see what happens.

[AmberLee]

Dear ToughCookie,

So sad to read your note. My experience introducing Livvy to Cassy was that it started poorly, got worse, then improved. They're not soul mates like Sassy was to Cassy, but they play, sleep, eat, and bathe together and are good for each other.

Others on this board are far more expert than I on cat introductions, so get more feedback. But (you KNEW that was coming, didn't ya?) I believe your situation will improve with more time. It probably seems like forever already ...

{{{TC, Muffin, Emma/Thelma, and Louise}}} Good luck.

[Nomilynn]

I have read that if you spray a bit of perfume on them (all the same kind), they find out that they all smell the same and don't fight anymore. I have never tried it myself. Another thing I have tried and it seemed to work was petting the new cat and the old cat at the same time, as if to say, "see? Mommy likes them, why can't you??" I sometimes wonder if the resident cat feels the need to protect it's territory/people from the new ones.

Hope it all works out for you and your family!

[AmberLee]

Ages ago I brought Cassy and Sassy to my parents home when Livvy was their cat. They didn't get along at all. (Massive understatement, believe me.)

We took the three of them in to a groomers to be groomed/ bathed, etc. They got along quite well afterwards. Not sure if it was becaused they smelled the same, or felt they needed to consolidate against a common enemy. [That was when Livvy became 'Catta non Grata' for those of you who remember the previous post...] Perfume would be a cheaper option.

[Lachesis]

Maybe let them sleep on a blankey for a couple days and then swap the blankeys.... so they get use to the smell??? Im sorry to hear they dont get along...

[Logan]

How long has it been? I simply can't remember.

I tried having a second cat many years ago, a little male kitten, Dwayne. He was found by my brother when he was doing yard work. Dwayne was about 3 weeks old. We bottle fed him (Chip did), and he stayed with us for several months, but Mimi hated him. And it totally changed her personality to have him there. We finally had to find a home for Dwayne. The day he left, Mimi was back to being her sweet self.

Last year, when Butter "found" us, I felt the same thing would happen. And to a certain extent it did. Only this time, with Mimi being 6-7 years older, she decided she would hate him, but not us, thank goodness. Butter, as you know, has stayed. They do not love each other. Butter really isn't a cuddly type anyway, but at least they have figured out how to coexist.

You'll just have to play it by ear, I guess, and go with your heart. I do think the loyalty needs to lie with the one who was there first. I hope you can make it work. I'm sure others here will have some ideas for you.

Good luck!

[toughCookie]

thanks everyone. I think the problem is there being 3 cats,Muffin seems ok with Emma, most of the time, it's Louise she doesn't like, and vice versa, Louise doesn't want Emma out of her sight,
she was even trying to nurse from Emma yesterday! And I think Muffin would be friends with Emma if Louise wasn't in the way.
Poor Louise, she's the really shy, scared one, she is getting a bit better about not crying when her sister is not in view. I guess I will have to look up some separation advice...or get a 4th kitten??LOL I don't know, that could make it better, or worse!Muffin might run away if I bring in another kitty!!LOL
anyone have any advice on that? I know when I babysat my 2 nephews, one had a friend over and it was a problem til I told the other to call a friend....maybe cats are the same as kids?

[aly]

How did you introduce them? It won't always work if you just sort of throw them in together... it can sometimes but not always. If you swap scents first (rubbing them with towels then switching towels and putting them under food bowls so they smell the new cat(s) while they eat), it tends to work better.

Maybe try seperating them for a week or so and work on gradually introducing them again.

Here's the response from a website Q&A from a woman in almost the same situation as you:

A: Your first mistake was keeping the cats together from the beginning. Introducing a new cat to an existing one should be a very slow process, by keeping them separated at first but able to sniff each other through the crack of a door, until they are accustomed to the new scent. Then perhaps putting one of them (the newcomer) in a cage where the existing cat can come around and sniff some more and see that he is not a threat. It's also suggested to rub a towel on each cat and put it in the other cat's bed so he/she will become accustomed to the smell. Cats have a well-honed sense of smell and they use it to identify friends from strangers.

Once they get used to each other's scent, you can try re-introducing them, maybe by playing with them using a wand-type toy. Slow and easy is the key, and give each of them special attention without the other around. Although your older kitty may never be "best friends" with this little interloper, at the least, they will be able to tolerate each other. The good news is that may very well take a maternal interest in the kitten, once she realizes it is not a threat. I've seen this happen many times.

I'm not sure if any of this would work at this point, given the length of time they've already been together, but it's worth a try. I think it's important to give Purdy her own "safe room" where she can relax away from the little interloper. She should have her own food and water dishes, her own litter box and bed there, and you need to continue giving her plenty of love and affection.

[toughCookie]

[QUOTE]How did you introduce them? It won't always work if you just sort of throw them in together... it can sometimes but not always. If you swap scents first (rubbing them with towels then switching towels and putting them under food bowls so they smell the new cat(s) while they eat), it tends to work better. Maybe try seperating them for a week or so and work on gradually introducing them again. Here's the response from a website Q&A from a woman in almost the same situation as you:
[QUOTE]A: Your first mistake was keeping the cats together from the beginning. Introducing a new cat to an existing one should be a very slow process, by keeping them separated at first but able to sniff each other through the crack of a door, until they are accustomed to the new scent. Then perhaps putting one of them (the newcomer) in a cage where the existing cat can come around and sniff some more and see that he is not a threat. It's also suggested to rub a towel on each cat and put it in the other cat's bed so he/she will become accustomed to the smell. Cats have a well-honed sense of smell and they use it to identify friends from strangers. Once they get used to each other's scent, you can try re-introducing them, maybe by playing with them using a wand-type toy. Slow and easy is the key, and give each of them special attention without the other around. Although your older kitty may never be "best friends" with this little interloper, at the least, they will be able to tolerate each other. The good news is that may very well take a maternal interest in the kitten, once she realizes it is not a threat. I've seen this happen many times. ]I'm not sure if any of this would work at this point, given the length of time they've already been together, but it's worth a try. I think it's important to give Purdy her own "safe room" where she can relax away from the little interloper. She should have her own food and water dishes, her own litter box and bed there, and you need to continue giving her plenty of love and affection.


Here is a pic of when Muffin met Cookie. thanks for the help, I didn't know about the rubbing towels, that's a good idea, but I did introduce them to each other gradually. i brought them home in the carrier, put them in the bathroom with toys, litterbox, food and beds. I stayed in there with them a while, then shut the door. They stayed in there only for about 4 or 5 days, then I would keep the door open during the day, and close it at night. the last few days they have just been loose in the house, they meowed at night, so I knew it was time for them to come out. Muffin just seemed curious at first, and has just gotten an attitude toward them lately. I guess I let them out too soon? but they were ready to come out...I am going out tomorrow to buy a gate door, I have decided to separate them from Muffin, like in that answer to that question says. The new kitties will have a room and bathroom and hallway to themselves, and Muffin will have the rest of the house to herself, so she will still have all her old places back to herself.

[Tubby & Peanut's Mom]

Well, last night Tubby and Peanut got into it...at about 2:30 am. I'm usually sound asleep when this happens, so I really don't know what sets it off, but the screeching begins and the fur flies - literally. This doesn't happen too often, and I'm pretty sure it usually has something to do with the cats or other critters that might be outside, but sometimes I think Tubby just gets an attitude and takes it out on poor Peanut.

My point in posting this here is that even after about 13 years together, my two still aren't best buddies and sometimes don't get along at all. So, toughcookie, if I were you, I wouldn't even consider getting rid of your little girls because you don't think Muffin is taking to them. They are still getting to know each other and define boundries, so there are bound to be some scraps here and there. A gate is probably a good idea to keep them separated while you can't be there, at least until the little ones get big enough to defend themselves.

Good luck, but I don't think you really need to worry. Just normal kitty antics.

[toughCookie]

thank you. I will most likely keep them, I really don't think I could give them away now, I love them. it has just been hard at times, with Muffin I feel guilty...but Im crazy about them

[sasvermont]

Whenever I was in this situation, I would put up two or three mesh baby gates, (the number depending on the door height), .....in the doorway of the room where I kept the newcomer. That way no one would jump the gate....and yet they could smell each other and hiss etc. and even touch, but couldn't hurt each other. Eventually the gates would come down. It usually took two weeks.

It has always worked for me. I have even done this arrangement at the bottom of a set of stairs.

Good luck.

I know how horrible it is to hear the hissing and howling. Been there, done that, and it ends at some point, honestly.