A rant about my brother.

[caseysmom]

I'll try to make it brief but I would like some opinions.

My brothers wife passed away almost 2 years ago. She was only 43. My neice, their daughter was 19 at the time. There is an autistic boy, now 24 that is in a group home.

My neice has continued to live with her Dad my brother but he doesn't help her out with a dang thing. It makes me so mad, she has always been good in school....some would call her a nerd, she is very shy.

Anyway she has been in college, I would call her to make sure she was registered, I did that this year and guess what...she had no money so she didn't register! She asked for a part time job with my hubby because she has no gas money.

She basically has a roof over her head and a car, which is good but no emotional or other support from my brother. I don't think they even talk. He is wrapped up in finding a new wife.

He doesn't have a lot of money but I still think he should do what he can to put her through college. At least help her get a student loan for gods sake. Anyway I gave her some money for gas and told her to basically make her own hours at our business.
She is very involved with her church and her grandmother signed her up for a trade school when she found out about all this.

I need to try to find my brothers cell phone number so I can tell him off, if I call their hourse she'll know why.

My sister in laws dying words to me were to take care of my brother....it just kind of bothers me...she is at an awful age to lose a mother, I am more worried about her.

[Jessika]

Wow I'm so sorry for her!

I mean, its one thing if you WANT to help but honestly don't have the money to do so, but its an entirely different thing to not care or try to help altogether.

At least she has SOMEONE in her life who shows that she cares about her, and that's you.

[Laura's Babies]

I have noticed that when a wife dies, the man's world stops! They are lost and want to find that companionship. I really think he is just lost without his wife and is probably consumed in his grief and lonelyness. I have seen this twice in the last few years. When you are married, you have all kinds of friends but when you divorce or the spouse dies, suddenly you don't fit in or belong anywhere anymore. He is lost!

[caseysmom]

I know he is suffering also.

Don't get me wrong he is not a wierdo or anything but his wife wasn't a looker and he talks about getting someone stacked and stupid remarks like that so I have lost some respect for him. I know he never strayed and he loved his wife but it just kind of grosses me out to hear my brother say that.

He found out his daughter lost a seasonal job in december...he found out from me and they live together and he was saying "she better get another job or I'll boot her out" he is really not serious but it makes me so mad.

I know he has gone through a lot of heartache with his son and he is actually pretty good with him.

[kuhio98]

Do they live close by? Could she come and live with you? It sounds like she desperately needs a friend and/or parent. How sad for her. She must feel like she's lost both parents.

[Pawsitive Thinking]

That is just so sad for everyone concerned. Maybe your brother has lost sight of the fact that the children have lost their mother.......he is not the only one grieving. Maybe your niece reminds him of his wife in a way that your nephew never could?

[caseysmom]

If things get bad for her with my brother she can move in with us. I think things are okay at their house they are just 2 ships passing in the night. I know she has friends at the church and her grandmother and myself for grown up help.

They are both very involved with the same church and they have helped my brother sooo much I am thinking they need some kind of help on this issue too.

She is very socially awkward, its hard to explain because I haven't met anyone like that before. She stopped by yesterday and my 14 year old was home alone with her and she said she tried to carry a conversation but really couldn't. She keeps her head down and doesn't talk, she has actually gotten better since her mom passed away just because she has had to I think.

[Pawsitive Thinking]

Poor kid - at least she knows she can count on you.