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Thread: Some men are ok if their wives make more!

  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2005
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    Pixsburgh
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    Some men are ok if their wives make more!

    Just curious...I have a job interview that starts at a good bit more than I am making now, but it's also a little more than what my husband makes. He is totally fine with it, in fact he's pretty excited. I told my sister-in-law about it, and she said her husband (my husband's brother) "would never put up with that." I was blown away. What do you guys think?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
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    california
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    sounds like a very outdated view. Maybe she is jealous that you will be making so much. My husband wouldn't have any problem with it, the more money the better.
    don't breed or buy while shelter dogs die....

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  3. #3
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
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    I hail from South Carolina, but Texas is where I hang my hat :)
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    I'm not married now, but, I do know that my ex wouldn't have had a problem with it. Some men do still have that mentality that they should be the main breadwinner in the family, that it somehow makes them less of a man if their wife makes more money. And, I do know some men who would give a guy some crap if they knew his wife was making more money. It's stupid, though...and, definitely outdated. Good luck on the interview, by the way!
    The idea that some lives matter less is the root of all that is wrong with the world. - Dr. Paul Farmer

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2003
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    Alaska: Where the odds are good, but the goods are odd.
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    I've been married for 16 years now. For 10 of those years, I've made more than my husband. He has no problem with it at all. He's very secure. He knows I love what I do. He doesn't feel like we're in competition. We are a partnership.

    We are older, so that may make a difference. He admits that when he was a young man, he was very insecure and was actually one of those "No wife of mine is going to work" guys. He's certainly changed his opinions as he's grown older. Thank goodness! I don't think I would have married the guy he was before.
    Ask your vet about microchipping. ~ It could have saved Kuhio's life.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Location
    Northern Canada
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    I make more than double what my husband does. He has no problem with that. I own our house. It's in my name alone as is my truck. We jointly own nothing. We don't even have a joint bank account. He pays the utility bills and the gas bill--which right now is a big one! That truck guzzles gas and at 1.17 a litre it adds up! I pay the mortgage and all the critter related expenses. We are each responsible for our own loans & credit card debts.

    I fully supported Stuart for over 2 years when we first moved up here and he couldn't find work. I keep telling him that someday he's going to have to pay me back for that and I will not work, but I don't think that's really going to happen!
    If you are lucky enough to find a way of life you love, you must find the courage to live it.
    --John Irving

  6. #6
    Join Date
    May 2005
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    Pixsburgh
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    It is really outdated. I guess I thought that people didn't really think that way anymore. My husband has said that when we have kids he would be a stay-at-home dad if I wanted.

    Thanks for the 'good luck' Finn's mom! I'll let ya know how the interview goes

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Aug 2001
    Location
    California
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    13,005
    Ha! I'm still stuck on the "wont put up with it". What??? Do we live in the idiot ages again??

    Who care who makes more....hard work = more money...so be it.

    SO glad I'm single. Men's egos are too much for me to have to worry about.

    ...RIP, our sweet Gini...

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
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    Land of the Ducks...quack!
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    My husband wants to be a stay at home dad too. I have to admit he is way better with kids than I am! He has no problem with me working and making more than him although he gets kind of depressed when he can't get me something I want. Its not so much about the male ego as it is that he wants to provide for me and treat me like a princess

  9. #9
    During our ten years together there have been times when I had more disposible income and times when Don has.

    I figure if he is unhappy if I am making more.... then he can get off his lazy butt and earn a better income ("he" in the generic sense....not referring to my husband.... )

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    Chicagoland, IL
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    I am very lucky in the fact that my hubby doesn't care that I make more either. I make more than double what he does.

    He is always rooting for me when it come annual review time too! But, he also gets a little down when I want something really expensive. Sometimes he'll make a comment that I should just buy it myself since I'll be using *my* money anyway.

    He offered to be a stay-at-home dad as well. I think he would do a great job. He's a great house keeper (better than me) and I think he'll be great with our baby too.

    I feel sorry for men who have that "she can't make more than me" mentality. My challenge to them would be, "if you don't like it, get a better job." Don't hold me down because of your insecruity.

    Ooops, am I ranting?




    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    "Ladies, we need to stop comparing men to dogs. Dogs are loyal!" Wanda Sykes

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Jun 2000
    Posts
    12,662
    The first two years of our marriage I earned more than my hubby. He was in the Air Force. Believe me he had no problem with it.

    My sister-in-law has always earned more than her hubby. She has a Masters Degree in education and he never even went to college. I think her success and his lack of education had an intimidating effect on him at times and there was maybe a little guilt there too. I think a lot of men just might like to feel that they are the main breadwinners and their egos are hurt when they are not. He tried to double his efforts to please in other efforts which I always thought was his way of *making up the difference." If each partner is happy with the arrangement that's what matters!

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