heartbeat, heartbeat, heartbeat, heartbeat, heartbeat..
nervous, nervous, nervous, nervous, nervous..
worry, worry, worry, worry, and worry..

on august the seventeenth, four of my sweet kittenagers (boys - gus, ?, dante & ashton) and their mother (star) are going in for neuter & spay. all of them in the same morning..

for almost a year, I worked as a vet assistant/surgery prep before and have helped with many this kind of surgery, six purrfectly healthy felines just died on their own. it just happened sometimes. I'm really worried, I asked them if I could stay in the surgeryroom and watch...because I understand and am aware with surgery policy, what to not do, etc., ..they said no.

I understand these are not your cats or love them as much as I do but as typing this, I'm already in tears! they ALL meant so much to me and I can not lose one of them, god forbids!

for that day coming, I would really need your hugs(thoughts/support). my heart just won't stop bleed.. not until august the eighteenth if every of my fuzzydear is allright!! sometimes it's bad to have a big heart. argh.

thanks!!
..gina, star and her four boys